Put yourself in my shoes for a second... what do you think when your father speaks about his transsexual brother with a disappointed tone? does it mean he loves him but slightly hates him, or he thinks he's a failure all together? and also i remember that he said that in the general family, he ( my uncle) is isolated, an outcast. so it must mean the family doesnt like him that much.... I'm afraid as to what will happen when I come out....
I think ur dad is just....disapointed that his brother is a woman not a man like when they were young. But i think ur uncle shud explain to him why and how he feels. And i think ur dad will be ok if u come out. Hes ur dad ur role model and shud take it well he loves u and nothing shud come between that. I think that if i come out to my mom shell be ....dissapointed/mad but i see herin the future asking me what looks good on her to pick out outfits for her and do her make up lmao
Well, I think your dad is disapointed because liek Carlos said, that your uncle is a woman now, but maybe not because he is gay and you shoudl come out to him when there is a chance but remember that tranny and gay are different, one is a bout orientation and one is about gender, and Im not sure all teh trannies are homo
I totally know how you feel crimsonarcher. When I think about how my life will change after I come out, I don't really think about how my parents will react (because I won't live with them forever); I usually think about how my extended family will react. Everyone on my dad's side came from Mexico and they're all very conservative catholics. On the few times that I've heard them talk about homosexuality, nothing that they've said has made me feel comfortable with coming out. So it's not really my parents reaction that I'm dreading, it's my extended family's. I've been so close to them my entire life, and if all of that suddenly changed I don't know what I would do.
yeah, me too. my families freaks out with men holding hands. thats why i decided to not to cum out to my parents right now. but its ur parents, they will deal with it. cause every sane parents will love their kids, no matter what. but maybe ur aunts, uncle, etc wont be too accepting if they r homophobics...
i agree with everything said above about how your parents will still love you. i would just like to add one suggestion. how close are you to your uncle? it may be worth considering coming out to him first. he may be able to help you.
I've got to agree with the others. No matter what they may say or feel at first. they're always your parents and will always love you no matter what. At the end of the day, if they don't/can't accept you, no matter how hard it may be for you, you should consider it's not worth having parents like that. Hard, I know but it may be the case. We always say it's not worth having friends that have turned against you when you've come out but with parents it's more difficult to say that as they're your flesh and blood. :bang:
it might actually help..but he's all the way in mexico, and my family doens't knwo how to reach him....cause he disappears a lot..
hmmmm..... you said he disapears alot. are you sure the family dissaproves of him becouse hes a transsexual or could it be becouse he makes bad decicions with his life and does things like run of to mexico and not tell them how to contact him? just a thought i would suggest that you wait to tell your parents untill you can contact him. but on the other hand if a good opertunity presents itself go for it.
well i dont know if i compleatly understand the situation. but if it is at all possible to contact him id say go for it.
I would agree with phantomblade, and with what everyone said above, if you can contact him, you should. Coming out as gay, and coming out as transvestite are two different things. Sadly, people have even more trouble accepting that than they do homosexuality. Anyway, good Luck!!!
Is your dad really disappointed or is that your interpretaion of his tone of voice? 3/4 of all communication is not the words that are said, nor the way they are said but in the interpretation of the person hearing the words. Why don't you openly question your dad on his feelings for his brother, that way you would be fixed. It might mean simply that he doesn't understand but would like to, or that he feels your uncle is wasting his life, that is more a cause for sadness than anything else. I don't know your or your parents or what your relationship is like with your parents so I can't advise you but the saying 'love conquers all' is very true. After the initial shock I feel honoured and proud that my son felt he could tell me, I feel that it is a mark of respect for me. Whatever you decide I wish you all the best
Great advice from Louise. Sometimes we forget the obvious, like asking someone a few questions in order to better understand their true feelings instead of guessing based on a few random comments. Good luck whatever you decide.
Wait. I too am afraid of what will happen to me when I come out. My dad has confronted me about my sexuality and he had the nerve to ask me "why do you think that? What makes you think you are gay or bi or whatever?" I...couldnt answer him.I felt horrible I couldnt answer him. I knew why but I couldnt tell him.I just made up an excuse,saying he doesnt know what he is talking about.I didnt lie to him, but I didnt tell the trust. I dont think I will until I am on my own two feet. That way I know I am safe, and since he has nothing to take away from me then No harm no foul.
I think you should tell your dad when you feel ready and not before. You have to feel that it is right for you. Why do you think you have to wait until you are on your own two feet. What can he take away from you? He is your dad, he will love you forever even if at times he has difficulty showing it. I don't know you or your dad but if your are this worried about his reaction there is obviously a lot of love between you and you don't want to disappoint him or lose his love. As a parent I can tell you now, it is EXTREMELY difficult to lose your parent's love. It might be hidden for a while, it might be stretched to breaking point at times in your life but it is always there. You are telling him you like guys, not that you are a mass murderer who tortured his victims to death whilst filming them!!! You are surely a lovely, sensitive, caring person or you wouldn't care what your dad thinks. Your dad must see this in you. Have faith in your dad. If he asked you the question he asked he must have his doubts. If he didn't want to know he wouldn't have asked. It must have taken a lot of courage for your dad to ask you that, it not a subject straight men enjoy taking about, he sounds like a very nice man doing his best to understand a subject that is alien to him. I feel like hugging your dad! Take your time, do it when you are ready, give your dad the benifit of doubt, he seems to really love you and want to understand.
