So I drunkenly made an account on ####### a while ago. I could figure out how to get rid of it, so I kept it and started actually using it. Well this guy sent me a message a few weeks ago and we started messaging back and forth. Now we chat via AIM and have been consistently for the past couple of days. Conversation is sort of all over the place but it always ends in neither of us wanting to leave the conversation but we have to go to bed because we both wake up early for work. He's said he thinks i'm attractive and we seem to have a lot of the same morals and ideas about things and we are interested in similar things. He's a year younger than me and will be going to a school that's about an hour and a half to two hour away from me. I'v never met anyone in person that I met online before. But I'm definitely developing a crush on this guy. Also, he's more experienced than I am. he's had 3 boyfriends already. Anyways, I'd like to meet him in person some time. And he's hinted at the fact that he would like to meet me too. He sometimes will talk about something he likes to do and say that we should do that sometime. Does anyone have experience meeting guys from sites? What should I know? How soon should I propose a meeting? Should I give him my number first? I'v never done this and I never really thought I would. I'v been on sites like this before but I always say i'm just there to look. This guy seems into me and i'm into him too, so I'd like to meet him but I'm a little nervous to do it. I'm nervous that I wont be as fun or interesting as I am online. I don't know what pictures he can see of me on FB so I dunno what he might be expecting as far as looks go. I get self-conscious about my weight, so that's making me kindof nervous as well. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
I'd like to think I'm a bit of a trailblazer here. I met a guy online back in 1997, and back then, I had to explain to people how that worked. A couple things stick out, though. First off, you say that he WILL be going to school about two hours away. That sort of implies that he's even further away than that now. In short, meeting up with him isn't going to be a couple hours out of your days, or even an afternoon. It's going to be "a trip" - in short, it's gonna be a pretty big deal. Secondly, you say "he says he thinks I'm attractive"...but you don't mention whether you think HE's attractive. And you seem confused as to how he knows what you look like. If I can again read between the lines, it sounds like you don't know what HE looks like. And since you appear to be contacting him solely and completely via IM, that implies all your contact has been via the written word. Which is totally fine as far as it goes, but it's not a lot to go on. Given those two things, I'd say hold off on setting up a meeting. Sure, feel free to keep the relationship going. But keep that as a "for later" thing, and keep developing the relationship based on where you are right now. Does you two have webcams? Would he be interested in doing skype, or a video chat? (Keep it G-rated to start with!) If not, I'd say add each other on facebook, so you can get a better idea on how the other person deals with other people. And yeah, feel free to exchange phone numbers so you can actually talk. If things don't pan out, you can always block. Keep getting to know him, and if you both keep hitting it off, feel free to revisit the idea of a visit. Lex
Lex has hit it spot on. The only thing I'd add is that once you've gotten to know each other a bit more, make sure your first meeting is in a public place. Two hours away for a meeting is entirely doable, but it's basically a day trip at that point. Find a coffee shop that's half-way between you and meet there. Tell a friend and have them give you a phone call 30-60 minutes after you're supposed to meet, and if the guy's a wierdo or whatever then use the call as an excuse to bail out.
Sorry i wasnt clear. We're friends on FB, I met him on #######. I'v seen pictures of him and he's seen pictures of me. On FB you cant see everyone's photos if friends put up pictures and have their privacy settings set so only certain people can see them. And YES, I am attracted to him, I think he's really cute. Webcams aren't a bad idea.
Absolutely, take your time with this. There's absolutely no need to rush into meeting, if you don't feel completely comfortable with meeting him then take your time. I met my boyfriend in the same way, and he added me on fb, then we started chatting on the phone, then texting. Our emails, plus all this took about 4-5 months before we actually met. I was incredibly shy so I took a lot of time to make sure he was genuine before meeting him, and we did meet in a public place, I told my best friend beforehand just so someone knew what was going on. If you do all this, and you feel comfortable meeting him then go for it, when you're both ready. There's so much you can get to know about each other before meeting in person, I found it really cemented my relationship with my boyfriend because we had spent so much time getting to know each other first.
