And has like, 2 options... Either I move out of my rent-free situation, and in with her, or she moves in here with my mom. My mom doesn't really want her too. How do I avoid getting caught in the middle? What should I do???? This is my best friend in the world, and I would do anything for her, but idk how if I can afford to move out of my rent-free situation...
This isn't your fight. It would be one thing if you were looking for a place to move to, and the two of you could move in together and share rent. But you're not. It's completely unreasonable for her to even *ask* you to move out of a rent-free situation that you had no plans to move out of solely to be her roommate. It is equally unreasonable for her to expect to be able to just move into your house with your mom (and equally unreasonable to expect you and your mom to give up your privacy and share your place, no matter how good a friend she is.) I would suggest helping her to find other options. Craigslist or another site to find a roommate she can share a place with, or perhaps find a house or apartment with a vacant room she can rent. Or, depending on the circumstances, point her in the direction of social services that can help her find a place. Certainly the two options you suggest are not the only ones, and it doesn't sound like either would be healthy.
Her sister is kicking her out because they have an on again/off again relationship. My concern is for the fact that she has a child, and has very limited options regarding living arrangements. I love her and I would do anything for her. And I do want to move out on my own, I just was thinking that now isn't the greatest time, with transitioning to part time work and starting college. But I will have student loans left over so that could help me. I just don't wanna see her fall and end up doing something illegal and getting arrested just so she could pay the rent.
And, to be fair, she hasn't "asked". She kind of hint dropped. And it is something we talked about 6 months ago. And given my sexual preference, her boyfriend and I are becoming fast friends (weird, i know) but he is cool with her and my's relationship where it is, so that wouldn't be an issue
Any more info on why your mom doesn't want her to move in? Do they not get along, or is it just an issue of how much room there is for mom, you and a new person with a child?
I'm just not sure if my mom is to the point where she can be on her own quite yet(look at previous threads of mine, my mom has issues & limited mobility)
Havn't seen them, but i guess you just answered your own question. Your friend should be able to understand that (unless theres a way that your friend would be happy getting a place pretty close to your mums so you could still go there often to help)
I don't know the whole story, but you say your mother isn't ready to be on her own YET. Does this mean you think the limited mobility and issues are going to get better sometime in the foreseeable future? It sounds like you've got an arrangement with your mother - you live rent-free there in exchange for looking after her/taking care of her. And that's totally fine. But your friend is throwing a major spanner in the works. You really don't have much standing to demand, or really even ask, your mother accept this friend and her child into your home. It'd be one thing if it were your mother's idea, but it sounds like she's not too gung-ho about the idea. And given the situation she's in, it doesn't sound like she's ready for you to move out, either. If that's the case, I'd say you can't help your friend either way, at least like that. Maybe you can help pay her rent for a month or two until she gets on her feet, though.... Lex
This really sounds like a situation your friend needs to solve herself. If she has an on-again-off-again relationship with her sister, she needs to work that out. And I still say that someone dropping hints implying you should move out when you have a perfectly acceptable free rent situation is awfully self-centered. The old adage "feed a man a fish and he'll eat for a day. Teach him to fish and he'll eat for a lifetime" applies here. She needs to get on her feet. As Lex said, maybe you can help her out a bit while she gets on her feet, but it really makes no sense to take more student debt on so you can cover rent on a new place when you already have free rent. Keep your expenses as low as you can while you're in school. It's easy to just look at student loans as free money but... they have to be paid back.
