Ok well Im out to mostly everyone but family and I realy jest wanna be free of hiding who I am but I don't think my parents will take it well but it's eating me up inside but I don't think it's the fact the I like guys that will make them the most mad me I think it's the fact that I like chubby guys they will still be mad that I'm gay but be consintrating on the fact that I only like exstremly chubby boys :/ cuz one time my mom found my stash of porn on my computer (yes I do look at porn from time to time ) and she wasn't as mad that it was gay porn as she was that the guys had bigger boobs then here and she sed she was scared y would she be scared that I'm gay ? I told her it wasn't me and she believed me but I'm now scared to tell them or bring a guy home cuz they will be mad when they see it's a guy and even more so if he's fat :/ I jest don't know what to do. I realy wanna come out to them but at the same time I'm scared
Parents have a tough time dealing with the concept of their children being sexual beings. (To be honest, most people have a tough time dealing with their PARENTS being sexual beings, too.) Even parents who can accept their children being gay don't like think anything beyond that spot. They don't want to know if their son is (for example) a top or a bottom. They'd just rather think of their kids in a gentle 1940s romantic movie sort of way. They look at their partners, sigh, and occasionally kiss - that's all. If your mother had found generic naked women on your computer, she would've thought "Ugh, now my son is sexually engaged" - which is quite enough for a parent to deal with. But on top of that, she found naked guys...and not even generically naked guys, but ones outside the mainstream thought of what's "hot". That's a LOT of information for her to take in and process. I wouldn't concern yourself about it too much. It's possible that your idea of what's hot might change over time (I certainly don't find the same things attractive I did at age 14). Or perhaps you'll end up clicking with and falling for a guy who doesn't look like that. Or perhaps you WILL always find fat guys hot. And that's totally cool. I'm pretty sure your mother will gradually come to accept it. The only true problem here is that your mother got a sneak peek into your sexual fantasyland. I'm really happy mine never did. Lex
As Lex mentioned, that was a lot of information for your mom to process. You mentioned something important: You already have a couple of clues. Slow down and take it step by step. When you do decide to come out to your mum or parents, she/they don't have to know everything all at once. Your main goal by coming out to them is being yourself around them. Start with that. If you have a fairly good idea and/or feeling that your parents would be accepting, maybe start thinking about as to how you would like to come out to them. You know your parents. Maybe they have mentioned something along the way that has given you a clue as to how they might react. If you feel that they might have a hard time with it, maybe wait a bit. Make sure that your support network is strong before you come out to them. For some parents, upon learning that their child is gay, it will take a bit of time to come around to it. Over time, most parents do and do become supportive and accepting by seeing that their child's sexual identity hasn't changed him or her. Parents have their own dreams for their children and coming out to them, means that they have to readjust them, and parents will eventually do so. Give it some thought as to how you could come out and what you could say that could also help your parents to come around to it. Also have a look at the PFLAG website. It has a number of support resources. Orlando has a PFLAG chapter, maybe try contacting them before coming out to your parents as well.
It will take your parent's time to come around to the idea of it, they've always thought of you one way, and now they will have to get used to you, as you really are. And by the way, fat guys need love too
If you decide to tell your parents, don't feel obligated to tell them that you like chubby guys. They will figure it out soon enough when you start introducing dates to them
