About six months ago I told my straight friend that I hada crush on him in which he replyed the he "didn't know what to say". To try and sort the matter I just told him that i'd never bring it up again and that we should pretend it didn't happen. He agreed and it seemed like everything was sorted. However, over the past six months he has continually made jokes about me and him, hinting at me and him. He has stripped to his boxers in front of me and challenged me to a "smallest amount of clothes competition". It has happened to the point where I am convinced that he could want something here. Tomorrow, he is coming over to my house and I plan to raise the subject with him to sort it out once for all. If he doesn't like me that way, I can get over it, but I need to know for sure. I was wondering if anyone had any advice on how to approach the subject, how to get talking about it without causing over-reaction? Any advice on the sunject as a whole? Has anyone been in this situation where a "straight" guy has been leading you on? Many thanks in advance. (!)
A bunch of things might be going on. * He's thinking he might be gay (or bi), too, and interested in trying something. * He might enjoy the idea of being crushed on, and wants to make sure to keep that fire stoked. * He might feel he needs to do such things in order to make it clear he's not weirded out by you. So you want to find out which it is. Two ways to go about it. One is more likely to preserve the friendship, and the other is more likely to get you some action. So choose carefully. Method one. Talk to him. Mention the things he's done. Make doubly sure to point out that you don't mind them in the slightest - in fact, you quite like them - but you want to make sure what he's hoping or expecting will result from these things. If he's straight and just "playing around", that's fine. If he wants to try something out with you and "keep it on the downlow", you (presumbaly) are cool with that, too. But you just want to know how to react. Chances are pretty good he'll backtrack, say he didn't mean any of it, and even if you tell him you're cool with it and like it, he'll probably not do it as much. Method two. Don't talk about it. Don't even bring it up. Look for him to make a casual move, and then make one in return. Or make one yourself to start. Tell him you miss seeing him in his boxers, or tell him you're ready for that "least amount of clothes" competition, and you're positive you'll win this one. Keep nudging him forward, gently but firmly. Don't say the g-word, or talk about what you're doing. Just do it. When he's down to his underwear, compliment the way he looks, and then say you'd like it better if he were wearing briefs. Or less. Chances are decent that something might happen. You might only get to see him in his underwear again. Or perhaps naked. Or maybe he'll even let you touch him a bit. Or a lot. But expect there to be some awkward feelings afterwards. You might end up with a FWB. Or perhaps it'll be a one-time thing. And it's certainly possible that he'll be weirded out enough that he'll want to put some distance between you afterwards. So you do have to decide if the friendship is worth that risk. Lex
Wow, thanks Lex. You're an advice God. That's really helpful. I'll think about which option to take overnight.
hope this goes well and all hopes he likes you too sometimes it takes being told your liked by someone for you to stand back and re-asses how you feel about them irrespective of gender.
Lex, that was a fantastic response. I'll be frank .. I've never had one of my straight friends want to play a "least amount of clothes competition." I'm just sayin'. At first glance, that seems a bit more than fire-stoking ...
I don't know any straight guys that play a "least clothes possible" game with their openly gay friend. If one of my friends did that to me id see that as a coming out / let's fuck.
Sounds like your friend wants to figure a few things out on his end, as well. Having a "littlest clothes" contest doesn't seem all that innocent to me - keep us posted and let us know what happens!
