1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

i dont know what to do?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Danny19, Aug 1, 2010.

  1. Danny19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I have been getting tired of being alone lately. Im tired of not having that special someone in my life. I dont know what to do.When i was at school, all the "out" gay guys were really feminine and im not attracted to that. I cant meet anyone who i would consider dating. The guys who i would are around 23-27 years old, im only 18. do you guys think it would be weird to date maybe a 24 year old?
     
  2. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! I don't think it would be weird for a 18 year old to date a 24 year old. :slight_smile:

    That said, spread your wings a bit. Not sure, but if you do plan on going on to college, you will have more opportunities to get to know some more guys, and maybe you will be able to find someone with whom you can form a connection.

    Also, have a look at in your community. If you haven't given it a try yet, maybe try joining a LGBT youth or social group, which would be another avenue for you to get to know others. Maybe look into your nearest PFLAG chapter as well. They can also provide you with further information on youth or social groups.

    Hope this helps a bit! (*hug*)
     
  3. Danny19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    hey thanks. Im actually starting college torwards the end of this month and hopefully i do meet someone. and ill see if i can check that place out sometime..

    hopefully i do, im tired of not having anyone
     
  4. Jeremy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 1, 2010
    Messages:
    203
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    USA
    Gender:
    Male
    When I was 20 I dated a guy who was 24, and it wasn't too weird. Mainly he wasn't really the most physically attractive to me, but the age didn't make much difference. At least you're not going for someone who is 36 *cough* >_> But it also depends on if the older guy would want to go out with a younger person.

    But yeah, LGBT clubs I think are an excellent idea 'cause then you get to meet gay people who don't act like Liberace. XD
     
  5. Danny19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    yea, i was thinking thinking of that. I think it will be hard to find someone of that age to date me. But ill see what happens.

    haha.. ok thanks. ill check that place out
     
  6. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    That's great! I can only encourage you to check out the college LGBT group.

    In case you are nervous about going in, and if they have a website, maybe check it out beforehand to get an idea as to what they do and what kind of social events they might be having throughout the term or year. Preparing yourself a bit, could help you feeling less nervous about going in (if that's the case).

    Also, remember that a lot of colleges/universities will have some kind of welcoming days or week, where you will get the chance to find out about different groups/organizations on campus. Sometimes, campus groups will have information displays set up during that time. This would be an opportunity to establish some contact with, and get some information about the group before joining them for a meeting or get together.
     
  7. Danny19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    ok. thanks. the only problem is that i cant be doing too much of this because im not out, at all.. :frowning2:. but i will see what i can do
     
  8. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Oh okay. Well, how would you feel about joining the group on campus as your first step in your coming out process? Actually, that would be a really good way of starting to come out and building up your support network. Making some friends there, and having someone to relate to could help. Being part of a supportive and accepting group could help you in the long run.

    Of course only do what you feel comfortable with at this stage. Take it slow and follow your instincts at all times. (*hug*)
     
  9. Danny19

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2010
    Messages:
    431
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    hmm. Well this is a big step. But what you said is actually some pretty good advice. Of course ill need some time to think about that.

    thanks for the advice. its really good. :wink:
     
  10. Kris10withedge

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 11, 2010
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Conservative NJ
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Right now focus on the other things. Its when you look at yourself instead of others that others start looking at you. Don't go too overboard with it, but everyone has insecurities so work on them at the gym (if its image based) and branch out artistically, musically, or style or anything. Gradually you'll get more confident and while you're not looking for someone, someone will find you. That's oddly enough how it generally works...for me.
    nah idk i don't think its that weird, but maybe a little. if you think its too big an age gap, then it is, but as long as you don't then it doesn't matter does it?
     
  11. MagicalMatt

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2010
    Messages:
    192
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Stillwater, OK
    It's generally a poor plan to look for someone. Let people happen to you.