One of my family members whenever she is telling me about someone who is gay she always says something like "Some guy I know Mike, he's gay, well he was going to the store the other day when..." but she never says "Some guy I know Matt, he's straight, was going to the store the other day when..." Do you think that is homophobic? What would you call it? Hmmm
I get what you mean, but lots of people are in the mindset that straight=default but if they're gay you must say, also people will find it makes the conversation more interesting bringing up what some people will see as Taboo and it then tends to move on to "Oh well I think gays are all right/wrong, I don't see why they shouldn't/how dare they do what they do! It's Completly Understandable/Unnatural The same things happen with any other minorities in any area, they feel the need to state it as they think it will change how to person they're talking to percieves it, sometimes it can even be showing off "Guess what I've got a friend and he's Gaaaay" "Guess what I've got a friend and he's Chinese" In other words Gay and Chinese=Interesting I would only say its Homophobic when used in an offensive context, it may just be that they don't like the person and they're trying to find a way to make him/her seem more "Wierd" like "There's this Gay guy at work and he really p*sses everyone off!" instead of "There's this guy at work and he really p*sses everyone off" It's still homophobic but mildly understandable...
I wouldn't consider it homophobic, especially since she appears to be friends with these people. Does she know YOU're gay? Maybe she's doing the "well, I know other gay people" thing. A bit misguided, perhaps, but I wouldn't hold it against them. Lex
I wouldn't call it homophobic because shes not "scared" of gays. It's just annoying that people feel that sexual preferences is such an important thing to point out when talking about somebody.
No she doesn't know I am, at least not to my knowledge. The people she tells me about are more acquaintances than friends. I guess I won't hold it against her though
i don't think its homophobic. It sounds typical of the sort of person who finds gay people novel and unusual. She probably sees it as one of the most interesting defining things about him. Yes not ideal, but i don't think in any way homophobic. Maybe we should all start saying 'who's straight' whenever we talk about our friends tho
If anything the opposite. It does sound a little as though she's trying to make sure you know she's accepting.
I wouldn't think its homophobic. People usually use peoples characteristics in order to identify them. Some people use short, tall, fat, skinny, red hair or gay.
I probably wouldn't pass it off as homophobic, but I'd probably point it out with a reply of like "my straight friend... blah blah blah" lol. But I do this with just about everything that's kinda like "irrelevant information," including really random things.
Sometimes when I'm talking to gay people I'll say "Yesterday I was doing _____ with ____, he's straight, and..."
She's probably just trying to make it known that there is nothing between her and her friend(like relationship) so she doesn't have to deal with questions of "Oh, you were with HIM again? ooooh!!!"
no, she just finds homosexuality as an interesting phenomenon, sometimes i even find myself doing the same thing. sometimes. not often, haha
My mom/family does that but instead of gay people, they say black or white people(we are mexican). I always point it out to them. I just don't get how adding the race of a person changes the story they are telling. I don't think your mom is homophobic or that my family is racist. Like Elven said, it's the default. Straight = default. For my family, mexican = default.
Personally, I find it rather helpful and positive. It means the person that's being described has the confidence to be out and depending on the tone of voice, you can tell what the story-teller thinks of them. That gives you more information than just the person's name. Also, I like knowing that my friends have gay friends. Even though I might not know them, it makes me feel less lonely and more supported.
This ^^^. I know a number of people, mostly family, that will tell a story and mention that it's a black guy or hispanic or whatever, even if it has no bearing on the story. It's less a function of racism and more a function of the fact that 99 percent of their interactions are with straight white people, so they feel as though they need to mention that their story falls into their 1 percent. I wouldn't worry about it.
