I was wondering if someone could offer me some advice as these situations bring my age and inexperience right back up on me... I've been getting to know one of my friends alot better recently and I didn't realise it at first but I do like him.... I guessed he was Bi after me saying I felt I could read people pretty well and he said to prove it so I guessed he was Bi and was right Then today he asked me if I liked him in that way and so I told him the truth that I do (though I've always thought him attractive I only sort of realised how much I liked him then) and he said he thought so (since I told him I felt awkward coming out to him afew days ago). He said that he needs to think about it (as do I) and that we should stay as friends for now but he'll give me an answer when he decides if he would want something more bettween us. I agreed but I also need to think about things like can I keep a relationship a secret? (as I am out to few) and If I can will it risk our friendship? He has previously had one relationship with a guy and he broke it off as he wasn't ready for something like that (or thats what he felt like) then he was still questioning weather they were going to get back together when he had to move, his ex and him had an emotional goodbye then ever since he feels hes been trying to cover up his sexuality, ignoring the fact he likes men but when hes with women he fantasises about it being with a man. We're both fine with just good friends so it depends if he wants that and I do sorta since my heart is hammering like crazy but I don't know if I would be able to cope with it... what do you think I should do?
Lol I'll post here so I don't flood your wall Relationships can sometimes be kept a secret, but people will find out eventually (they always do). Once you find someone, the coming-out issue is a lot easier to deal with (at least, in my experience). If you have feelings for him or at least an interest, I say to pursue it. Tell him that you're willing to help him sort out his feelings and just really be there for him. He might come to develop feelings for you (if he hasn't already). Just being the "really good friend" will get him to open up more, I think. *shrug* Don't want to set up false hopes or anything, but that's just what popped into my head
Congratulations. Should you keep it a secret? If there's any way at all to avoid keeping it a secret, choose that route. First relationships are difficult enough without throwing on the added burden of seeing each other in secret, "none must know" and balancing your chosen lies and half-truths. Better to simply be upfront about it. Will you put your friendship at risk? Definitely. Some people can walk out of relationships as great friends, but they're in the distinct minority. What usually happens is that one person simply "isn't feeling it"...but the other one is. And he ends up mooning over the guy, wondering where it all went wrong, and so forth. This doesn't mean you shouldn't do it, necessarily. But you should go in knowing that this is a possible outcome. And you should talk about that. "It may be difficult to keep our friendship intact if we move things to the next level, but I do want to do my best to hold on to that." The big red flag is that he's still willing to hide his sexuality behind a veneer of "normalcy". Would he be willing to be in a relationship with you if it meant NOT hiding? If not, then I'd strongly urge you to reconsider falling in with him. Chances are great he'll feel the need to "be seen with women" so "people don't get the wrong idea".... Lex
Thanks guys I've talked with him anyway and I think for now everythings on hold entill we sort out our priorities...
Elven, You the same age as me live in the same country etc. Next year we have our GCSE exams, and if your going to be dating and get found out + exams it may get stressful. I'd wait till this time next year.
Yes all of you are right. I was having an emotional moment which I have now gotten over and I wasn't thinking clearly, hence me being stupid thinking I could successfully keep a relationship a secret which is something I would never normally even think of doing and would never advise any one else to do, I was being very nieve at the time so I posted on here so that someone could knock some sence into me so thankyou We're still friends and I plan to leave it that way.
