Ok, so I've been talking to this guy from Maine for a few months now and we talked everyday... until the beginning of this past week. Before I continue, this guy is almost like me in every way. Long hair, can't stand being alone, and almost the same taste in music. Anyways, he did say he eventually wanted to see me, since he doesn't really live that far, when you think about it haha. But yea, the last time I spoke to him, he said he locked himself in his room and had a sudden drinking problem, saying that all his friends now had a suicide watch on him. Of course, I don't, because I don't judge people like that. I was about to head down to see him cuz it seemed like he needed some help and i really wanted to try and help him, but my bro talked me out of it. Best thing for me to do now is just hope he's alright. But I really want to know what's goin' on, cuz like the title says, I'm worried:tears:
Hi there! (*hug*) Have you talked with him only online or did you also talk to him over phone? Short of driving down to Maine, I think the best thing would be just to look out for him online and see if you can catch him and then just talk to him then. Let him know that you were/are worried and that he count on you if he needs to talk or just needs someone to listen. If he doesn't have your phone number yet, and you feel comfortable sharing it with him, provide him your phone number. If you do have his phone number by chance, maybe just send him a text and let him know that you are there for him if he wants to talk. That said, going by what he told you, you know that his friends are watching out for him, and have him on 'suicide watch.' Maybe you can try taking a bit of comfort in that knowing that he has friends who care about him and look out for him. Hope all will turn out alright. (*hug*)
I don't know if I'm allowed to do this or not, so if I get banned I understand. If you're interested, this was the last chat him and I had:
I'm not sure what is meant by "suicide watch" exactly. I'm thinking that it's something along the lines of an intervention, and making sure a guy isn't ever alone, or at least ever feels that he's alone with nobody to turn to. If that's the case, then I can't imagine people doing that on a whim. "Hey, there's nothing on TV tonight. Let's go put Bob on suicide watch." They do it because they really DO think there's a problem. In fact, if anything, I've noticed friends are far more apt to NOT make a move, feeling it's not their place. If they think something's wrong, chances are that (at very least) something certainly appears that way. What can you do? What Mirk suggests. Be there. Offer an open ear (or eye, if this is all text-based). Just tell him you're always available if he feels the need to talk. I honestly would do my best to not get embroiled in this "suicide watch" thing at all - if he brings it up, just say "Wow, that's gotta suck" or something. There's a slight chance he might use you to help argue against needing it. And since you presumably don't know the whole story (just his side), it's best to stay neutral on that. Lex
so we're back 2 talkin . turned out he was just very busy and he did say i had every reason to be worried. so i'm really glad he's ok. and just for the record, this has all been text-based. but that got me thinking: should i take this to the next level? should i actually give him my number?
I would think it would be difficult to come to a conclusion on whether or not you should take something to the next level based on an online meeting and texts alone. Maybe in my 28 years I have become old fashioned (you youngsters now-a-days, lol), but depending on what your definition on "taking it ti the next level is", I would think that decision should be made after actually meeting the guy face to face. I'm kinda confused. You said this was text-based...text based being via cell phone? (then I would assume he would already have your number) or just online?
i should've been more specific... it's all online. and i kinda figured i'd wanna do it one step at a time (text, phone, then in-person)... that's how I see it.
Logical process, and probably the right approach to take. As far as his issues are, the only thing you can do, as Lex said, is (if you see this going anywhere) is let him know that you are there if he needs a sounding board. Any idea about what's bugging this guy?
first i always tell him i'm there for him. secondly, i'm not really sure if there is anything bugging him, but i guess there might be.
Well, you're doing all you can do then. Hell, I don't think you have anything to loose by getting to know him a little better. Give it a shot.
how would i bring it up though? just ask him the basic question (would you like my phone number?) or build up to it (we've been talking for some time now and i want to take it a little further... here's my number xxx-xxxx)?
Well..you have to take the lead on it. No need to make it a formal occasion, keep the invitation casual. Say something like: "Hey we've been doing this online thing for a while, let's actually talk...here's my number...hit me up if you want to"...or something along those lines...then wait for him to make the next move. If you don't get a reply, then you have your answer and leave it at that...don't push it. If you do, well good..take it from there.
