1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

another one of those...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by i need help, Aug 8, 2010.

  1. i need help

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fort Wayne, IN
    dont know how to stat and i know there are a million so ill get right to it...

    i have a kinda friend (we went to the same school, lots of mutual friends) we out mutual best friend "B" (who knows im gay) told me that awhile ago that "X" told him at one time that he thought he was gay. no big deal im glad X could connect with B.

    well fast forward to two nights ago, at about 5:30 in the morning i get a call from X i was sleeping woke up did not answer. so i text back at noon-ish...he said he had a question, he asked me if i was gay and i told him yeah, he asked why i never told him, then we had some possible flirting back and forth for a bit...now what am i reading into it to much...

    i know just ride it out and see from there, is there anything else...
     
  2. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Ask B if he's seeing X. If he is, if X starts flirting again, tell X you're enjoying the sexual banter, but you don't feel right talking like this when he's seeing B.

    If B isn't seeing X, then feel free to start chatting with X on your own, and ask if he'd like to hang out some more. Assuming you want to, of course. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! What Lex mentioned! :slight_smile:

    Plus, I think riding it out and perhaps continuing to talk with him is perhaps your best option at this point. If you feel that you would like to get to know him better (as a friend) get together, chat with him. Try to get to know him and take it from there. :slight_smile:
     
  4. i need help

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fort Wayne, IN
    first off thank you both...
    as for that B si straigh, and for hanging out X is currently in Seattle and im in Indiana...so i guess ill just keep chatting him up, but other than asking i wish i could just know...maybe i will talk to B...
     
  5. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hi there! Maybe just keep talking/chatting to 'X' for the time being then. By doing that, you will find out as to whether there is more to the flirting. The more you talk with him and the better you get to know him, the better of a read will you have on him.

    That said, how do you feel about 'X'?
     
  6. i need help

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fort Wayne, IN
    i dont know how i feel about X, i mean we went to school together he has a great personality, hes attractive, but other than that i dont know. i have never been in a real relationship so the whole thing makes me nervous. i mean i guess there could be feelings there or it could develop if there is not, ill put it this way there is serious potential...i mean that makes sense right...
     
  7. Mirko

    Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2008
    Messages:
    18,870
    Likes Received:
    3,203
    Location:
    Northern Hemisphere
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    It makes sense. :slight_smile: Yeah, keep talking to him and make an effort in getting to him better. As you do that, you will be able to place your own feelings better as well. Take it one chat at a time and just see where it takes you.
     
  8. Lexington

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2007
    Messages:
    11,409
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Colorado
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Given all that, I'd say just consider it a fun thing for now. It's nice to have somebody to talk to about "that whole gay thing", and it's fun to maybe flirt now and again. The concern is that you might start crushing heavily on him, especially if he doesn't looking for the same sort of thing. Yeah, if you both fall majorly for each other, then perhaps you might look to make a go of things. But it's pretty common for people to do what I call "convenience crushing" - developing feelings for somebody less because they really are ideal for each other, and more because "hey, we're both gay, and this way, I won't have to go out and find somebody". That's kind of a mass simplification, but I HAVE seen it happen (and yes, even in me). Just be aware of that possibility, but feel free to see where things lead. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  9. i need help

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 15, 2009
    Messages:
    31
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Fort Wayne, IN
    thank you Mirko,
    thank you Lex,
    everything that has been said has made perfect sense and i have had ridiculous crushes for stupider reasons