Hi All, As I said in the other thread, I went down tonight to try to ask that guy out at the store near me. I tried making small talk but I just didn't know what to say. Needless to say I didn't get anywhere. I kept second guessing myself. I was just so nervous. I feel like such a wuss right now. I think he knows that I'm interested though, just a feeling. Maybe I'll try again. Do you guys think it would be easier to find someone at like a gay bar or something my first time? Anthony
Will it be easier to find someone at a gay bar rather than out in the general population? Sure. Buyer beware, when you find that someone at the bar, they may not be looking for a relationship, rather just a quick hook-up. I won't suggest that all of the people at a gay bar are looking for the hook-up, but make sure you are being honest about your intentions if that is the route you choose. Out in the general population, there is less a chance that the guy is actually gay. If you are sure that the guy is gay, you would have to muster up and just ask. Perhaps, ask him when he is off work or on break and meet him outside of his job to ask. That way the setting is a little more private.
If you are looking for love, it's not terribly easy to find at a gay bar. It can definitely happen but I would say it is not, as with straight bars, really that great a place for meeting long-term relationship prospects. If you're still freaked out by your sexuality, which you sound like you are, a gay bar might be more intimidating than talking to a guy in a store. However, if you just wanna see what having sex with a guy is like, then a gay bar is probably perfectly serviceable. (Ha ha: "serviceable." Get it?) Just ask the guy if he fancies getting a beer sometime. If he's gay and he's interested, things will likely progress. If he's not, he'll either not take you up on the offer or he will but nothing much will happen. It can be as easy (or as hard) as you're willing to make it. So here's some advice: make it easy. Keep it caj. (Okay, I so do not know how to type out a French 'j' sound such as you would find in the abbreviation of "casual.") Oh no wait, I found it. Keep it cazh.
If this is the guy you like, its the guy you like. I would suggest not going to a bar to kind a quick hook up like josh said. Instead tell this guy your true feelings and if the are recipricated then great, if not well it will hurt but life moves on and so can you. Good luck (&&&)
Thanks all. I am not sure that I am looking for love per se, but I am definately not looking for a quick hook up either. I'd like to find someone that I can spend some time with and maybe see where things go. It's just tough as being bi, there is no group identity and in many cases we are shunned by both gay and straight people. It makes you feel kind of isolated and alone. This is actually the first place that I have found where I have felt accepted. I just wish I could find something like that in the real world.
This might seem kinda 'hurtin' but I posted a CraigsList ad looking for a 'gay friend' (more specifically, other gay dads). I wasn't looking for anything physical at all, but wanted to actually meet with and talk to other men who had been through a similar experience. I had a handful of really decent guys respond, and one of them I still talk to on a regular basis and we get together for dinner or a movie once in a while - just to hang out. It's been really refreshing to be able to be completely open about who I am when I'm with him. So if all else fails, you could try some kind of personls ad, and see what happens. Good luck! (btw - I wouldn't think a gay guy would 'shun' a man that is bisexual... I've never come across that anyway. I'd say that there are very few people who are 100% straight or 100% gay, so everyone in a sense is bi to some degree. If you're interested in trying to spend some time with another guy, then gays or bis should be available to you...)
I wouldn't recomend a bar,I say keep tryin with your late night guy.You'll be able to get out what you want to say sometime.
if it takes you a day or a year 2 say it w/e happens its gona take time and wussin out aint abnormal, i myself have gone 2 ask a few guys if there gay or bi but decided agenst it at the last second and just gone and picked somet up near em, thts mainly due to me thinking they aren't actually gay or bi and it was just me hopin tho. a bar if you wanted to find sum1 for a night or so then there fine or im gesin they wud be like tht, neva been to one with the 17 yro age thing and all.if u wanna fnd a guy for a longer term r/ship all i can suggest is the guy u want practice the first convo ull have with him over and over and if ur really nervous then just wait for abit and try find ways 2 get 2 speak to him about somet in the shop, then mabe ask him bout sports or somet and maybe after a few times ask him fora drink or somet, tht way ull be more comfy tlkin with him, he may of already gesed ur intentions, and if he says no and is str8 then dont be upset str8 guys dont realy like goin on dates with other guys, unfortunately enuf. if he doesnt say anything bad about u bein gay then just be friends, he shud be fine and u stil get ur man! just not in the way u wanted =[
hmm... grown up talks. but i suppose, that men in gay bar is for fun only. they r fuck buddy, not a bf. but its just a thought tho.
