So I came out of the closet a year ago. My family supports me, my friends support me, and life is good and happy and I'm not going through any suffering. Yet for some reason, a part of me is trying not to accept myself. It seems as if it does not like the fact that I like men, and wont shut up about it, and hates the fact that I've accepted those feelings. It bothers me often and scolds me for doing perfectly reasonable things, making me depressed for recognizing myself I have no idea how to make this voice go away, and I want it to. Is there any way that I can make it stop?
It sounds like you should talk to a therapist about this i know its tough cuz ive been there but give it a shot
You know I reallly want to know what it feels like having voices in your head.. coz.. I sometimes do BUT I know its ME. But for other people its not them?? I duno, I want to know what its like.
I guess I'm not entirely clear - are these metaphorical voices or (what appear to you to be) actual voices? Lex
Did you beat yourself up about being gay? or did someone close to you give you a hard time. Sometimes when we have a tormentor in our lives, once they are gone we torment outrselves. We get used to having that pain there, and once its gone we put it back ourselves. However! if you are hearing actual voices you need to talk to a docotor ASAP!
It's more like metaphorical. Sorry if I came off the wrong way. It's not like, embodied voices so much as just some sort of indirect denial that my mind's created or somesuch.
OK then. Just didn't want to give the wrong advice. Another question. Do you know anybody gay? Any gay friends? I have a feeling once you get to know more gay people, and get comfortable around them, that should alleviate these feelings quite a bit... Lex
I have a couple of Bi friends in real life, but not any that are gay. Online, I talk to a number of gay people. i dont know why i sort of feel as if I should be straight...just my brain kind of wants to rationalize against it for some reason it seems.
I have the same thing. It was massively worse when I first came out and I know this is an annoying answer, but time will make it slowly go away. I'm very self aware about when i kiss my gf in public and stuff like that, but as time goes by you'll start to fully accept yourself. Good luck!
Know what's funny? I went through the same thing the first time I held a guys hand, the first time I kissed a guy, the first time I bought a guy dinner. I went through all the same thought processes. MusicIsLife is right, though. These feelings go away. It takes time, but they dissipate. You're so accustomed to what is "natural" and "unnatural" that it's become part of your subconscious. Just be who you are comfortable and soon enough you won't recognize it anymore.
