Finally, I can accept saying that Finally, I don't care what other people think about me. I want to live, and I want to love. I want to be happy again. And I feel.......at peace with myself inside. Thanks to everyone who's helped me, this site gave me the final push I needed just to accept myself The next phase for me, ie telling people, is quite frightening but I know that I can live with myself whatever happens. I've picked out two close friends who I hope to tell first. I'm currently drafting a letter to them, because I can't do it face to face However, it might be a while before I work up the courage to actually send it to them. But the fact I'm even considering it is progress I think.......anyway, I thought I'd share this with yous all, and offer my thanks for the support
Hi,your welcome anytime,support and advice cost nothing to give but have helped all of us here. Now that you feel in a better frame of mind we all hope to see you posting in the cuming out section soon!! Good luck and be proud of who you are.
Congratulations on accepting yourself. That's a huge step and it has to come before you can really do anything else. And don't worry about wanting to come out in a letter. Sometimes it's better to be able to think about exactly what you want to say and how and put it all together how you want in a letter rather than trying to make yourself spit out what you want to say and not having it work out how you planned, and that's perfectly fine if you think that's the better way for you to handle this.
Definitely start drafting a letter. Even if you can't work up the courage to send it, it's very therapeutic to write it all down. It only gets easier from here on out.
Thanks everyone for your kind words I've ended up, unexpectedly, coming out to a friend. It was totally unplanned. I had started drafting a letter, which was helping me, but last night took me by surprise. I might've mentioned before somewhere that about six or more months ago I was being questioned on the whole issue by a friend, but I just couldn't tell him. Well, the two of us were walking home from the pub (we weren't drunk, but we'd had a few so maybe it made our tongues wag more freely). Anyway, he brought up the issue again (same way he always does, asking me if I like anyone at the moment. I think he's always suspected I wasn't at ease on the whole thing). Well, over the years I usually just rebuff this, say there's no-one and change the subject. But instead, I thought I'd just say it. My willingness to tell him took me by surprise. I said I'd tell him if he didn't tell anyone else what I said, and he assured me he wouldn't. So I told him. He took it really well, but I kind of knew he would, because he's really open minded. He told me he went through a period of confusion when he was younger but then he realised he was straight. He said I shouldn't worry about everyone else because they're all non-judgemental and accepting. Still, I asked him another few times not to tell anyone and he was insistent that he wouldn't, and I believe him ofcourse. I'm really grateful that he took it so well, his attitude towards me didn't change at all, and it was really easy just to talk to him about it. I don't think it'll be as easy with others, but I've made a start I guess, even though I don't feel a great need for others to know yet. It just feels kind of weird, but good, that someone actually knows about it now.........the whole thing's going kind of fast, I had no idea that I'd be out to someone by now, but I'm glad that I have. The closet door has ever so slightly creaked open
That's so nice to hear that you friend was so accepting. I remember the day I told my first friend, feels like yesterday Good luck with your coming out process!
Thanks very much, I am relieved that someone finally knows about it, and he is encouraging me to be more open. I'm thinking about my next move Thanks
