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Hit the nail on the head

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by kettlkorn, Aug 14, 2010.

  1. kettlkorn

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    I was staying at my parents house for a few days and my brother was there with his gf. She always comes to my defense whenever my brother is making fun of me. (But we're ALWAYS kidding. Never serious.) So we are just joking around with each other and I start getting his gf to tell him to stop. He was even laughing. But then he did something odd. He told me to quit. I asked him why. He said "Just stop." Again I asked him why, because I was confused. So he looks over at my dad and says," Hay dad, did you know this one time he had sex with a guy? How does it make you feel to know that your son is a queer?" There was a long, awkward silence and my dad told us to quit it. I think my face looked like this - :eek:

    The thing is, my brother shouldn't know any of that stuff about me. I haven't told him ANYTHING about my sexuality. Or that I've even had sex at all. The only family member I have told is my mom and I doubt she would say anything. Do you think that he knows or that he was bluffing and hit the nail on the head? Either way he's a prick! bahaha!
     
  2. malachite

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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Wow! he is prick! its hard to tell since I wasn't there, if he didn't know that long pause mau have given it away.
     
  3. Lexington

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    Sorry, no - that wasn't a bluff.

    Your brother didn't say "Kettle's gay".
    He didn't say "Kettle digs guys".
    He didn't say "Kettle looks at gay porn."
    He didn't say "Kettle has sex with guys."
    He said "This one time, Kettle had sex with a guy."

    He didn't just know you liked guys. He knew you hooked up with one once. And exactly once.

    And your father?

    He didn't explode.
    He didn't demand to know if it was true from you.
    He didn't ask you for confirmation.
    He didn't tell your brother he was wrong, even to say "Aw, that's not like Kettle."

    He just stared at all of you, and then told you to quit it.

    In short, I'm next-to-positive he knew, as well.

    The most natural thing to do here is to go apeshit over the person who spilled the beans, which in this case would probably be your mother. But I'd do my utmost not to. Because actually, I'd say she's done you somewhat of a favor. Because you're now out of the closet to your family. It's known. You don't have to deal with that fear anymore. Your father at least seems somewhat accepting. Your brother perhaps still needs some work. It may be he found out just before you all got together, and perhaps he was still mulling that info over. Which is why he randomly stopped you from fooling around with his girlfriend, and lashed out via your father. (He apparently didn't guess that your father knew, which is why I think he chose to attempt to hurt you in that way.) In which case, I'd say give him some time. You might talk to him a bit, and say "I was really hoping to come out to you guys in some other way, but I'm happy you at least know now." But leave it at that for the time being.

    Lex
     
  4. kettlkorn

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    I think Lex should write self help books. You're awesome