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I live in my mind.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by if i had a dime, Aug 15, 2010.

  1. if i had a dime

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    And it scares it more then anything. I have extremely elaborate fantasies about the furture or things I wanna say to people even being in on like my favorite tv show becoming best fiends with the cast. Whenever I let my mind wonder it goes to these stupid fantasies even when i try to think of other things my mind wont let me. I know there not real and they probley never will be. Maybe I just need school to start to get my mind on something else but I dont know. Im just scared I will become completly inwrapped in these fantasies and it will effect my friendships or my family. I hate them and i just want to feel normal and whenever i get happy something comes and wrecks it and this is it this time. Thanks for reading this rant EC is the only place I can spill everything :/ (which I also hate)

    ps. If this is in the wrong place sorry and feel free to move it.
     
  2. Lexington

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    I was like that back when I was 16. You know how I got over it?

    I didn't. I'm 40, and I still do it.

    I actually hardly watch TV or movies much anymore, and when I do, I don't really watch it as sheer entertainment. It ends up being "fantasy fuel". I often take the characters and situations I've seen, and either incorporate them into an ongoing fantasy of mine, or create a new one using them. I rarely take characters wholesale these days - it's more often that I'll "fine tune" one of my existing fantasies by making someone in it look/act/sound more like that character, or face a situation similar to the one the character faced. I've got a bunch of ongoing fantasies - some "active", some "archived" to the back of my brain which I pull out periodically when I want some variety. There's the 18th century French court, there's the large house full of gay college students (oddly, this one is platonic), there's the space-themed one, and on and on. I'm in a few, but I'm just an observer in others.

    What do I do with these fantasies? Almost always nothing. They simply are there to amuse me when I need amusing. And you should know how great that is. When other people get stuck in traffic, or are waiting in line at the fastfood place, they're stuck pulling out their cellphones hoping to start a conversation with another bored friend, or checking facebook again to see if somebody posted something in the past five minutes. Me? I'm seeing how the college students are handling their latest crisis. I have an endless supply of entertainment at my beck and call in my brain, and since I came up with it, it's completely and solely tailor-made for me. So it's always entertaining. Can't say that about TV. :slight_smile:

    Occasionally, I'll write something down. I'll have futzed with the same characters long enough, and like the story well enough, that I'll sit down and type it all out. I have stories posted on fanfiction websites, if they deal with characters from TV shows, and original fiction if they're created by me. And people seem to like them, which is always a bonus. But it's not why I do it. I do it because I think it's fun.

    So long as you know your fantasies aren't real, and you know that's all they are, and you're not using them to avoid reality at all, then don't think of your fantasyworld as a curse. It's actually a blessing. Most people wish they could come up with stuff like you and I can. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  3. Danny19

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    ok I soo get u.. and it sucks cuz i want to be happy but when i start fantisizing I get upset becuz its not real.. ugh life is complicated
     
  4. Eleanor Rigby

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    I have been doing the same thing since... as long as I can remember. I have just moved from Winnie the Pooh to other characters :slight_smile:
    I'm still doing this, and I don't think it is a problem. As long as it doesn't prevent you to live your life aside, creating fantasies for the moments you're bored, or tired, or when you go to sleep is perfectly fine.
    I use this for entertainment when I am bored, or to comfort myself when I don't feel very fine and can't or don't feel like talking with someone. So far, it never prevent me to live my own life for real aside this, it's just like a place I like where I can go anytime because it's in the back of my head and I just have to close my eyes to get there (often listening to music).
    So don't beat yourself up, just enjoy the time you spend with your family and friends, and the time you spend with your own imagination :slight_smile:
     
  5. Filip

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    Put me up for another vote of: it's pretty normal.

    In my spare time, I'm a warlord of the 40th milennium carving a path of conquest through space in the name of the Empire.
    Or a hero of the resistance in Europe after the nazis won the second world war.
    Or a billonnaire entrepreneur, traveling all over the world in search of adventure
    And many others...

    Also, when I'm not doing that, I'm considering elaborate dialogues with friends and family in my head...

    The human mind just acts like a gas: it fillas all available space. and when you're not using it, it will make up stuff to make up for the difference. So having an active fantasy is not necessarily a bad thing.

    As long as you know it's a fantasy, and not finding yourself engrossed in it when you're actually with friends or in need of paying attention in school (and even then, don't take that too strictly, we all daydream on occasion) it's allright.
     
  6. magillanectar

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    This is definitely normal. I used to do it a lot more than I do now. I think what changed for me was I started to put more effort in being social and vocalizing my thoughts to friends. When I didn't say stuff, the conversations would fill my head instead. This sometimes would get bad if I was angry with someone but never told them. I would play out scenarios in my head about how I would've or should've handled a situation.
     
  7. AlyssWonderland

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    [​IMG]


    Imagination and fantasy aren't a bad things you know :slight_smile:
     
  8. x2x2x2x2y2

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    ^omg I love that so much.