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coming out first or girlfriend

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by confused102188, Aug 18, 2010.

  1. confused102188

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    I am 21 years old and have started having extremely strong urges to come out. 4 years go I thought i could turn myself straight by getting a girlfriend. That was a stupid mistake. I have to break up with her but I don't want her to know I'm gay but the problem is I don't have any other reason to break it off I'm going out tonight with my best friend and I really want to tell her. Should I break up with my girlfriend first or just tell my best friend?
     
  2. Lexington

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    >>>I have to break up with her but I don't want her to know I'm gay but the problem is I don't have any other reason to break it off.

    That's without a doubt the best reason to break up with your girlfriend. There is no future with you, and the longer you keep her tied to you, the longer you keep her "off the market"...where she would be able to find somebody with whom she WOULD have a future.

    So call a halt to it. Your friend shouldn't have anything to do with this. Tell him or don't tell him, as you see fit, but call an end to your relationship with your girlfriend. If you absolutely can't bring yourself to explain why, tell her without telling her. Tell her that "I realize that there's no future to this relationship" and that "I do like you a lot, but only on the friendship level, so I think it'd be best if we reverted to that."

    Lex
     
  3. olides84

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    Well, maybe it would be good to tell your best friend tonight. You could probably use all the support you can get, and having her (hopefully) on your side will ease the burden of breaking up with the girlfriend. Beyond that, Lex has it nailed.
     
  4. MagicalMatt

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    Yes, end that relationship as soon as possible. Never string someone along any longer than you have to.
     
  5. confused102188

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    Life is way to short to be anything but happy... I'm gonna break up with her
     
  6. Lexington

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    And that's true of BOTH of you. Which is why perhaps telling her would be the best move.

    Lex
     
  7. TheEdend

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    Good for you :slight_smile:
     
  8. george678

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    Tell your friend then break up with her. He/she should give you support to tell her.