so, i dont know what i am. i know i like guys for sure, and would definately start a relationship with one. but when it comes to girls, im all confused. i mean, ill find them "cute" or "hot" or whatever, but i dont think i really want a relationship with a girl. i mean, even if i was in a relationship, i wouldnt want to go far with anything. so, what am i?
First off- welcome to EC! Have you ever considered that maybe you're comfortable in your liking guys so much that you don't really mind acknowledging the hotness of a girl, subconsciously or something? I'm not sure I'm making sense, but finding someone of the opposite sex hot but not wanting to be with them in any form dowsn't make you bi, or not bi, or whatever. I can tell when a guy is hot, but would I want to sleep with him? No.
Welcome to EC! I go to burlesque shows quite a bit. The main part of burlesque shows is women taking their clothes off. I've actually befriended a bunch of the dancers, and some of them are absolutely breathtakingly beautiful. But ain't nothing happening south of the border. Me likey the dick-y, so I'm gay. There sometimes is this belief that gay men find women repulsive. Not at all. Sure, a couple go so far as to say "Girls - ick", but most just aren't attracted to them. They can find them attractive, even beautiful - but in the same way a painting or a sculpture is beautiful. Lex
Hi, BocaJ, and welcome to EC! Lex has covered it pretty well. But to clarify a little more with your particular case, I think you're mixing up appeal/beauty with sexual attraction. If you find yourself genuinely sexually aroused thinking about girls or imagining yourself with them, then you've definitely got some bisexual stuff going on. But if you're merely admiring them or enjoying their company, then you're likely gay. Also... keep in mind that the Kinsey scale for human sexuality goes from 0 to 5, with 0 being completely straight and 5 being completely gay... and only about 10% of the population are at either end, with everyone else somewhere on the continuum. So even the trinary definition for sexuality (straight-bi-gay) isn't really adequate to describe what is really a much broader and more subtle spectrum. Long and short is, most people choose a trinary label for themselves, but it's only an approximation for most people. If you have sex with guys, or fantasize about guys, or masturbate about guys... and none of the above to women, then you're a Kinsey 5 or pretty close to it, even if you find women attractive... as long as you don't find yourself *sexually* attracted to them. btw, when you are unsure, that's actually pretty normal as part of the process of coming out and getting to know yourself, and part of the process of accepting who you are. So don't worry about it, just sort of let it be and soon enough it will become clearer. Hope that helps!
