im so weak

Just tell you need to break up with her because you're gay, and that you prefer to suck penis than be with her.

And then tell your friend that your gay as well.

Then go to a gay night club and find the first dude you meet and take him to the bathroom stall and love him, that's right love him.


problem solve

 

Obviously Tony's advice isn't the solution. The problem is not whether or not you're weak at all. It sounds like you are too caring to want to hurt your girlfriend. It's not an easy task to do. Perhaps instead of bringing it up, you can get her to bring it up somehow.

Suggest to her hints whether verbally or physically that you might be gay. I unadvertantly came out to a female friend once. I was telling her a story about a male friend that used to like me. I said he was cool and I wasn't creeped out by it in any way. The next thing you know, she had to ask if I was gay. Being the honest guy that I am, it would have been too difficult to lie and I came out anyways. Easy as pie when the girl does all the talking.

 

It's not selfish. It's just what you need. You can't stay with a girl your whole life if you're not attracted to her (and never even were).

 

your best friend probably knows, or she has suspected at one point or another. i mean, she's your best friend if she doesn't know, then she'll probably be super happy cause girls love gay guys, so just tell her. (haha that's probably the most stereotype based advice i've ever given, but the stereotype is there for a reason)

breaking up with your girlfriend.. well this is like taking off a bandaid, you can peel it slowly and it will hurt a lot and take forever, or you can clench your teeth and tear it off quick and it stings, but it's over. it's gonna be really really scary, but that's life, lots of things are really really scary, but if we let those things get the best of us we wouldn't be able to leave our beds for fear of falling as we stepped off.

good luck. you'll do it when it needs to be done, maybe it just hasn't built up enough importance yet to conquer your fears.

 

You need time. If you really cannot say it to her then text her. She should be understanding if she loves you and she is your friend.

 

If you can't find the courage and the words to break-up face to face with your girlfriend, you may think about writting her a letter.
You're not obliged to come out to her, or for anyone for instance, if you don't feel ready for this yet. You have the right not to be ready yet. Coming-out is a long process and only you can tell when you'll be ready for this.
But you have to break-up with your girlfriend, because this situation is unfair for both of you.
I totaly understand that it's difficult and that you don't want to hurt her. But the more you wait for doing this, the hardest it'll become and the more your risk to make her suffer. If you don't that for yourself, do it for her. She deserves to feel true love too.

Take care (*hug*) Cécile

 

The first time is always the hardest. Just remember, one step at a time. Since you just couldn't say it, I think the letter idea, to your friend, is a great one. You could write her that you really enjoyed the long conversation about relationships, etc the other night but there was one thing that you just couldn't spit out...that you are gay.

I do think that once someone knows, in this case your best friend, it will give you some more confidence and hopefully more support when breaking up with your girlfriend.

 

You might give some thought as to what specifically is holding you back. Are you worried about being rejected? About being "branded" gay? About your girlfriend hating you?

It's common to want to wait for the "right time", to want to do it "the right way". And while that's somewhat admirable, it's important to know that the sheer act of it is far more important than how it's done. It's simply something to get beyond. So if you have to write it out on a piece of paper to hand to someone, or if you have to text something to get the ball rolling, these methods aren't "wrong".

Lex

 

I was in the same boat too. Coming from somebody that's been there before, my best piece of advice would be to say there is no good time. This is going to be difficult whenever you do it, and there will be tears involved. (Unless you're one tough SOB)

That's not to say you shouldn't tell her. You should. I waited for almost 3 months before I said anything and there was never a "good" time to say it. You just have to sit her down and tell her the way it is. It's that simple. I hope this helps, even if it wasn't the kind of advice you want to hear.

 

I remember those feelings when I wanted to come out. Its hard.
Don't beat yourself up, your not weak and your not a pussy. The first coming out is the hardest. You'll get there, have faith in yourself.