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It's over.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Katherine, Aug 21, 2010.

  1. Katherine

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    She's gone. It's over.

    My first love. My first partner. The fucking best thing in my entire life. Yesterday she and I were sitting across from each other on a date, talking and laughing, and now.... She's gone.

    I don't even feel pain right now. Just numbness.

    I don't know what I'm supposed to do.

    I need someone. Anyone. Please.
     
  2. silverhalo

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    Aww first of all ill send some (*hug*)s (*hug*) (*hug*), I think the best thing you can do is look after yourself, take it easy and stick around with friends, im not going to tell it will be easy but you'll come through and you'll see that there are other good things in your life.
     
  3. x2x2x2x2y2

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    (*hug*) (*hug*) what happened??
     
  4. Lexington

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    Can you tell us what happened?

    Lex
     
  5. Katherine

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    I don't even know what happened. She just randomly called me this morning and told me she had to end it. She said she didn't feel "as connected" anymore. That it wasn't my fault, and that she was sorry.
     
  6. Lexington

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    A couple things, then.

    1. It's very tempting to go back over the relationship and "figure out where it all went wrong". But the fact is - a lot of the time, there isn't any misstep. Often enough, somebody "just isn't feeling it"...and that's not due to the other person doing something wrong, or not trying. So don't feel you can somehow convince her that she's wrong, or that you'll "make it better".

    2. At the outset, there's very little you CAN do except mourn the loss. Do what you gotta do. Cry. Punch the pillows. Go out in the woods and scream. Eat pizza. Whatever takes the edge off.

    Sorry this happened to you. (*hug*)

    Lex
     
  7. concklin

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    Lex is right. There's not much you can do. I've tried to fix things after the same thing happened to me and I think I just made it worse. It doesn't make sense why it happened, and when someone asks you why you two broke up, you may not be able to give that person an answer because you feel like you yourself don't have an answer. But just do what you can to get through it. I'm so sorry (*hug*)
     
  8. MagicalMatt

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    Been here, love. Just...feel for a while. Don't be afraid to feel sad, but be ready to pick yourself up when it's time. Life goes on...eventually.

    Big Love
     
  9. Maddy

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    (*hug*) (*hug*) I'm so sorry. What do you do? I guess you do whatever you feel like you have to., If you get the urge to let out the loudest curse of your life, or cling to the nearest person and sob on their shoulder, or write depressing poetry, or run a mile, go for it. What I do when something crushing happens? Bake a cake. It means you spend a good half hour concentrating on something that makes sense, something that has things to measure and count and steps to follow. And it means you get cake.
     
  10. Mugwump

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    I'm so sorry to hear that Katherine. It's a really hard time for you. I don't have advice... I just wanted to remind you that you're gorgeous, and give you a hug (the old fashioned way) - (((((((((((((((((Katherine)))))))))))))))))))
     
  11. MagicalMatt

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    Katherine, I wanted to let you know that I thought about you tonight and I just want you to feel so much better so soon. Listen to Maddy. Find that thing that lets you deal and just do it.

    Big Love, my dear
     
  12. Katherine

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    Thanks, you guys.

    I know it will get better eventually. It's just...god, it hurts so much.

    I like Maddy's cake idea. Although I don't know how to make cake, so I think I'll bake cookies instead. Maybe it'll encourage me to eat something. I haven't eaten at all in the last 24 hours.

    *hugs everyone*
     
  13. Absentminded

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    Hey, I'm sorry to hear about this, it really sucks, having been there myself. As everyone else said, it's good to just take some time for you and do what you need to. It'll all turn out okay after a little while. (*hug*)(*hug*)(*hug*)
     
  14. Mister Gaga

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    Hi, I'm really sorry to hear, I know how you feel, I know it's devastating, especially when it ends just like that, and you don't even know the reason why. At least you know it's not your fault, so you don't have to struggle to review things and think about them. She gave you an excuse that frees you from a lot of worries, all you have to do is to try to forget. It's gonna be hard, but time heals all wounds.

    Wish you the best =)