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Well there goes that idea.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Ashleigh Ann, Aug 22, 2010.

  1. Ashleigh Ann

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    I just started college. I'm in the honors program and every year the honors freshman go on a retreat for team building and confidence, etc, etc, etc. So I made friends easily with a few of the other girls, including my roommate, on said retreat. The other day at lunch, the topic of what they would do if their roommate was a lesbian came up. Let's just say it was less than encouraging, my roommate included. I haven't really been all that into guys lately and I've noticed I'm checking out way more girls now that I'm in a new place than guys. I'm pretty sure that eventually I'm going to have a girlfriend and I don't see myself swapping out roommates any time soon. I don't want to lose my new friends over something "silly," for lack of a better word, like this. They're friendly and fun to be around; and I know that once classes start and all the other freshmen move in (everyone in honors moved in early for the retreat), I'll make other friends as well. I just don't want to lose, like, seven girls as friends right off the bat if/when I end up with a girl.

    Anyone ever been in this situation? Anything to help with it? Anything at all? Gah. Fml is all I can think right now.
     
  2. MusicIsLife

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    If they're not going to accept you for who you are, they aren't real friends. I've never been in that situation personally, but it can go one of two ways: they could get really upset about it, or they could be totally cool with it.

    What the girls are saying now may not be a road to an actual reaction. Sometimes when someone does not personally know anyone in the LGBTQ community it makes it hard for them to imagine how they themselves would react to actually knowing one.

    What I'm getting at is that you might wanna consider telling your roommate after the other freshmen move in, and if theres any hostility at all from her talk to the person in charge and get moved to another room at once. Being who you are should be NO reason for anyone to treat you badly.
     
  3. Chip

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    MusicIsLife is right. Your roommate is most likely saying what she's saying out of ignorance, never having had a lesbian friend. GIve it a little time and consider telling your roomie after things have calmed down a little bit. But my guess is it won't be a big deal.
     
  4. Étoile

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    I've posted this before but, my college roommate switched dorms before school started after he saw I was gay on Facebook. I'm honestly glad it happened before school started.

    But don't mind my bad experience. Most people say stuff like that because they've never been close to a gay person before. They've only had them as classmates, seen them on the streets, or only on TV. When they're in groups, people think it's socially expected of them to dislike gays. They may say, "They're icky." when in fact, they really don't mind. Once they get to know someone who's actually gay, their feelings quickly change, usually.
     
  5. paco

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    i agree, and college exposes people to a lot of new experiences, people that were taught to be homophobes by their parents often find out that there's nothing to hate once they've seen more of the world.

    it also sounds like all of this was mentioned in a group setting. were you asked that question along with her? did you tell them you would be fine with having a lesbian roommate? what i'm trying to say is that peer pressure and the desire to fit in will lead most people to just go with the majority answer. so you can take it with a grain of salt. hopefully she's not so bad.
     
  6. Ashleigh Ann

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    I know a lot of people are probably going to say what MusicIsLife said about if they can't accept me, they're not really my friends. The thing is. Since we're all in the same classes due to the honors program, I don't want to tell them and then have a bunch of people dislike me in most of my classes these first two years. It just makes it more difficult.