Ok. So there was this guy I was talking to who turned out to have a crush on me. And it also turns out that I'm the first guy he's ever liked. That's cool whatever. I like him too btw. So he invites me over to his house and we ended up making out. The only reason I made out with him was because I was under the impression that at some point a relationship would come out of it. And he stopped kissing me at one point and said "You know this has to stay between us right?" and I thought to myself "Crap, like this is probably a waste of time." but we went back to kissing and I won't lie it was nice. Haha. But I started thinking about it and it quickly lost it's novelty. In reality I want to start coming out soon, like within a year. And it would be nice to have a boyfriend and not just a fling. I'm not really big on flings because if I like someone I want to be with just that one person and to know that they're only interested in me. And I continued to think about it and figured that if I'm the first guy he's liked, there is no way he's even close to ready to come out and I don't want to sneak around and date behind the scenes. Sneaking just isn't my style and I don't want the extra stress of worrying if someone is going to find out. So I brought up my concerns and he was like "I'm not ready for that so I'm probably not for you." and he's right. However, he wants to keep hooking up like a friends with benefits type of deal. I kind of do and I kind of don't. Kissing someone to me is like... not sacred but it's a serious gesture of affection we're talking in a relationship or seriously dating type of deal; not just for kicks and giggles. But I do like him, I kind of just don't know where to put him in my life. So if any of you have ever been in my spot I'm asking for a word of advice lol. I guess it's the ultimate to be friends with benefits or not to be friends with benefits question.
You don't wanna do it, so don't. He's willing to let you be, so let him. Don't get yourself in an uncomfortable situation that you know will turn out wrong. Big Love
It's not what you want, let it go. Simple as that. A few minutes of fun isn't worth it if he's not really what you're looking for.
You won't be happy with yourself if you let it continue. You'll likely end up feeling used, or worse, you'll develop feelings that aren't reciprocated and feel even worse. He's probably in denial and by not allowing himself to name it as a "relationship", he can convince himself that he's not gay. Until he's ready to actually deal and come out and be in a relationship, as tempting as it might be, I think your instincts are correct.
I wouldn't do it if I were you. It sounds like he really does like you, so if you guys can't be in a relationship he wants to just keep hooking up at least. Either way, with you being his 1st crush and all, he would probably catch some feelings for you in the midst of all the hooking up and it would be kinda awkward.
Well, I don't know if it's the case that he "just wants to hook up". It sounds like he kinda wants a boyfriend, too. But it also sounds like he likes his closeted status more than he'd like his boyfriend. And that's not unheard of. Given that, the question is "assuming that you HAVE to keep this thing under wraps, and he'll never change his mind about that, do you want to get involved with him?" And I think the answer is "no". Lex
I decided to kiss him again. It wasn't as heated as the first time and he came to the conclusion that he doesn't like boys. So yeah. My feelings aren't really hurt I guess and I knew what I was getting into. I'm just disappointed that I wasted my time. But it's cool; we're going to be friends still, and at least I helped him figure things out I guess.
