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Being out at college.

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by travelinsoul21, Aug 23, 2010.

  1. Like I don't wanna make a big speech in the get to know me talk that lets everyone know I'm gay. But I don't wanna hide it, and I don't wanna have to tell anyone. I just want them to know.

    Is that possible?
     
  2. paco

    paco Guest

    go in pretending that everyone knows, and occasionally mention a hot guy or something. and when people ask if you have a girlfriend just tell them why you don't have a girlfriend.

    it's toughest at first but eventually word kinda just spreads on its own. i fully support the idea of being out when you start college, i almost did, and i wish i had. that way you wont have temporary friends that will only last til you're out, you'll make real friends from the start.
     
  3. MagicalMatt

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    I've done it. I had to come out to a few of my friends at the beginning. Those were my close friends. The ones I knew would love me no matter what, but since then, I just don't have any inhibition when it comes to talking about guys. That generally helps.
     
  4. Lexington

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    Unbelievably easy. A few well-placed statements like "he's pretty cute" or "I'm so busy, it's a good thing I don't have a boyfriend right now" are all it takes. :slight_smile:

    Lex
     
  5. VentinIntrovert

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    I'm actually still in college right now. One of my friends usually just introduces us to her girlfriend. Hey, this is "blank" she's my girlfriend. The usual handshake follows and life carries on. From then on it went pretty well.
     
  6. titaniumCloset

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    I just acted "out" from Day 1. I did not watch what I said, I didn't hide anything. I just moved her on Wednesday and everyone I hang out with knows I'm gay and no one cares at all, it is a non-issue. We had a party at my place and this girl asked if everyone was straight, I said No, I'm gay. That's the only time I said "I'm gay", all the other ones are just assumed based on my actions/words. Like one girl asked me how I would hit on a girl, I said I don't, she said "you're gay?" I said yes, she said she was lesbian. :slight_smile:
     
  7. RaRa

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    You could always just wear a rainbow bracelet or something if you don't wanna have to keep telling people.
     
  8. foofighter

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    Problem for me is I have a tought time acting "out". I just am who I am and everyone assumes I'm straight. And I don't really have anyone I could turn to and say, "man that dude is hot," or anything (there's a lot of hot guys here btw). I figure once I find some girl friends to hang out with then I can get the ball rolling. I'm not worried about it, though.

    I do plan on going to one of my school's LGBT club meetings and maybe I can get some ideas there.
     
  9. LostandFound

    LostandFound Guest

    Just going will be your way 'out'. The day after you could be like "Hey, what did you do last night?" to someone you want to come out to and when that someone asks you what you did in return you can be like "I had a good time at LGBT club last night".
     
  10. titaniumCloset

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    That's a good start, and like you said, girl friends are usually more interested in talking about it than guy friends. I got dinner with a ton of girls last night and they were quizzing me for a bit on what kind of guys I like...not many guys would do that. I've looked into any LGBT style clubs but they aren't active this year so far, their websites haven't been updated since last year. However, in the "Welcome" packet, there was a flyer for some LGBT events around Natl Coming Out day so maybe I'll go to one of those to meet some guys.
     
  11. Well at this school there's no GSA that I'm aware of. I have a Gay Pride flag on my phone that I know a few people have seen. And it's Oklahoma so its not like there are gays everywhere. Although there is plenty of eye candy.
     
  12. MagicalMatt

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    I don't know what Oklahoma you're in, but I run into gays daily, hourly, minute by ever-loving minute.
     
  13. You, my dear friend, are in a TOTALLY different Oklahoma than I. You, are in Stillwater. A college town. I am in Enid. A backwards town.
     
  14. titaniumCloset

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  15. Chip

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    One of my friends grew up in Enid, before Phillips University closed. It's not THAT backwards :slight_smile:

    But to your specific issue... what some of my friends did at Oberlin years ago was to put a rainbow ribbon on their backpack. Everyone (or at least, everyone who isn't completely culturally ignorant) who saw them wearing their backpacks immediately knew they were poofters. Problem solved :slight_smile:
     
  16. MagicalMatt

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    You know they talk about Enid at the end of Jurassic Park 3?
    Random....
     
  17. george678

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    I would just come out from day one, have a picture of a topless guy as your phone background or something.
     
  18. fringelunatic

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    I guess it depends how important it is to you that absolutely everybody knows that you're gay. It's only one part of you - and people will probably realize if you just act natural, and don't cover up the fact.
    That's more-or-less what happened to me. I came out to about a dozen friends by saying "I'm gay" or something along those lines, which worked (when people didn't think I was kidding! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:) but plenty of other people found out just from the way I behave - I'm not really stereotypically gay, and it came as a surprise to most people I told, but I remember quite a few people found out when I was at a dinner we had to celebrate the end of our MUN conference in school, and I spent most of the evening flirting with the guy across the table.
    So yeah, I think they'll realize if you just be yourself. That's what I'm counting on for uni (I leave in two weeks, can't wait :grin:).
    Hope that helps.