Meeting Someone from Online

I am kind of in the same boat except I can't really see anyone I meet online. I'm no expert, but if you are going to meet someone from online, this is what I would do:

-Make sure you meet at a public place
-Tell a bunch of friends or family where you are going (you don't have to say why, or you can say, "I'm meeting a girl", or whatever works).
-Meet in the day (it's probably less scary! lol jk). But really, if you meet at night, and this guy turns out to be a predator or something, then there could be all kinds of excuses to get you to go someplace you don't want to be.
-As for your biggest fear, no one really has to know you are out, except this guy, which he already knows because you are meeting him from this gay website. Use the excuses in tip number 2 I gave or make up your own.

If I didn't address everything, then feel free to point the stuff I missed out, or ask me some other things.

Again, sorry, I've never done this, but I'm kind of in the same boat here and these would be the kinds of things I would do.

 

Hey, just wanted to say that I've met plenty of people from the internet for various reasons and I'm still alive. No bad experiences. But don't be stupid. Mk?

Day. Public place. Someone to call.

Oh, and no one will find out. Come up with a good story.

 

First off, all the following advice assumes you're above the age of consent. If you're not, call it off, and assume the gargoyle gave you the stern talking-to.

OK then. Yes, meet in a public place. Coffee shops are ideal. Pick a place roughly halfway between you two, so neither of you has to do all the driving. Get a drink, sit down, and just start talking. About what you've discussed online, and what you're expecting from it all. I'm assuming this is a sexual hook-up (you weren't really clear about that in your post) - if you were just looking for a friend, you'd probably meet in a "public place" as a matter of course, and go do something fun. Assuming it is, tell him what sorts of things you're interested in trying, and find out what HE is hoping for from the encounter.

If at any time you don't feel comfortable with him, thank him for meeting with you, say "I'm afraid I'm just not feeling much connection with you - I'm sorry", pay for his coffee, and go.

If you feel comfortable enough to continue, I'd suggest going home and thinking it over for 24 hours. But it's often tough to think with the upper half of the body in times like this. So, just in case, bring along condoms and lube. And make sure you've practiced using them before you go. Go enjoy yourself. Focus on giving HIM a good time. And if at any time he tries to make you do something you don't want to, feel free to stop it. If you need to, the scrotum makes a good emergency brake.

Lex

 

Um... I dunno if all this is a good idea... A good place is meet is probably in front of a police station... Regardless, people on the internet make be nothing like they appear in real life. They could be some desperate creepy guy, or a perfectly nice dude. The thing thought is that if you aren't 100 percent sure that you know this person, then don't meet them. Even out of the 99 safe meetings that you've been in, it only takes 1 to ruin in. Regardless if whether it's a public place or day time, some of these people can play you, what until you trust them then take advantage of you. If they are older they can easily manipulate you and coerce you into doing something that you don't like. If you really are tempted to go, bring a friend. I know it sounds weird, but make it a casual meeting rather than a date. Also use all the protection you can get. If this one guy is willing to hook up with you, imagine how many others he could or have hooked up with in the past through this site. Good luck and stay safe.

 

^ Sorry, not going for that.

The key thing is to take simple precautions. And meeting in a public place for coffee is probably the best way to take care of that. Could he still be putting on an act, and be some sort of psycho? Of course, but so could one of your friends. (Maybe they're waiting for you to put your guard down.) To my way of thinking, going straight home with a guy you met online is like running across a busy highway. But going home with him after an initial public meet-up is like walking along a sidewalk. Yeah, a car might still leap the curb and hit you. But you've reduced the risk to nearly nothing. If the guy was just looking for someone to fuck-and-fuck-with, he'd skip over the guy who said "let's meet at a coffee shop to see if we feel comfortable", and go for the guy who said "You sound hot - let's do it".

Lex

 

I'd just like to add that sure, there may be creeps out there, but online dating for gay guys is a pretty normal thing. As a non-out gay guy, you can really only meet gay people by pure chance, by going to a gay bar, or online. A lot of people are not super lucky, nor the gay bar type, so there's lots of very normal gay guys out there looking to meet people online.

I've recently been meeting some people, and it's been pretty safe and problem-free. I just met a guy today from a gay site and had a great time hanging out with him all day, we got along wonderfully, though we're just going for a friendship right now.

Just meet in the daytime (gives you more time with him if you'd like anyway) at a nice public location. Ask lots of questions as normal when first meeting someone, and you'll get to know them quite quickly. At this point, it's really no more dangerous than talking with anyone you've met by any other method. Go for it, because you never know what you might miss out on otherwise. And yup, don't forget the condoms and lube just in case, no matter what your plans are.

 

How long have you known this person? I have a couple online friends from different places. I got to know all of them really well though msn mostly. I'd say I'd meet almost all of them (in a public place) if I got the chance, but then again I've known all of them for over a year. I think that's a big factor in deciding.