So like 2 days ago I told my 2 best friends I'm gay. I asked them not to tell anybody because its only up to me to say it. I held it in since I was a teenager so I was hoping they could keep it to themselves. I told two people at the same time so that they could talk to each other about it if they needed to. Well one of them already told her mom which is like my second mom. I don't trust her now and I'm really upset now.
The best kept secrets are the ones that are never told. I have always felt that if you drop the big G bomb on someone, no matter how many times they say they won't tell anyone, they will. Every once in a while you will come across the exception. I wouldn't be a bitch about it, but I would level with this person and say that you're pissed and disappointed. How did you find out she told her?
Her mom told me because I could tell she knew. I am so disappointed that's my biggest secret and this is the hardest thing ive ever done. I feel overwhelmed already I don't need to be freaking out about who she might tell next.
well...at this point, it would seem the bigger deal you make out of this, the more it could...not will..spiral out of your control. That's why you need to keep a cool, level head about this whole thing. Simply pull this person aside and lay it out. Say, "I trusted you. I put my life in your hands....when I say tell no one that's what it means"...or something along those lines. Like I said...don't be a total bitch about it but be forceful to make your point. And if this person is not a good enough friend to keep something like that close to the heart...then...well...you will have to make the evaluation on that one. There are many people that know I am gay...of course they all live out of town, they know none of my friends or family, but they are still friends of mine and understand my situation. There are 3 people that KNOW me that know I'm gay. They have know for a while and I thank God for their trust, confidence, and protection of me. Friends like that are the exception. I would have a conversation with her...but remember, keep it cool and level headed.
Well this is not very nice, I would tell her that you feel hurt and you do not want her to tell anybody.
I agree with Bamaboy here. Anger is counterproductive, but let her know that this is a really big deal for you, something that you really want to tell to people yourself, and you didn’t tell her because you secretly want her to tell everyone she knows. And definitely make it clear how sad and disappointed you are. Hopefully that will make her see that what she did was wrong. Maybe give her some more perspective on what your plans are as well! Asking people to keep a secret indefinitely makes it harder on them than giving them a timeframe. Obviously you don’t need to blow up the closet right away, but if they know that you’re planning to be out to friends eventually might make it easier. And don’t be too hard on her either. This might have been a bit of a shock to her, and in the initial shock of learning a secret, people do stupid things sometimes. That doesn’t make it OK, but it’s at least somewhat understandable…
