I'm disgusted with myself (gambling)

OK, where is it that you're "managing to get" this money to gamble with? Because the easiest course of action would be to cut off the supply. If you got no money to gamble with, you can't gamble. But if you truly are addicted, you may need to get some help for that addiction...

Lex

 

Try substituting your addiction with a job if you don't have one. Pick something that might be unappealing to your or grueling and stick it out for a little. Then, when you earn money, think about how you had to suffer to earn the money, and don't waste it on gambling. Try to remember how hard you worked to earn the money you made, so that you spend it on things worthwhile instead of gambling.

Or, you can always get help from a clinic; I'm sure they have help for gambling addictions.

This was just something I thought of but maybe it's worth a shot?

 

First of all, one bit of your post that I have a lot of trouble with:

Gambling is something that has attracted the attention of the world's smartest minds. People who knew statistics and probability inside and out, and in recent years, people who had supercomputers working on finding fail-safe gambling schemes.

Where are they now? I don't know, but I know that they're not retiring in Malibu with the money they got by breaking the bank. Because all casino games are inexorably stacked to make profit for the house, and leech money out of the customer's pockets. and the longer you gamble, the more money you progressively lose, even if you occasionally win a bit in the meantime.

Internet casinos are probably even worse. I've heard rumours that some actually let you win at first (like, say, 1000$), to reel you in and make you feel lucky, because they know most people then end up losing more than they gain afterwards.


Now, with that out of the way, I think you already took a good first step in admitting you have a problem. The means that if you deal with it and talk to the right people, things will be OK!

I think telling your mom might be a good first step. She might not be too happy about it, but having someone know already arms you agains continuing to gamble in isolation.
The next step would be telling someone who has experience in dealing with addictions.
Is there any councilor at school/college you could talk to? he might be able to help or show you the way to people to talk to.

And, like Lex said, lock off your money supply. Give any credit cards to someone else while you're dealing with this. That way, even if the urge strikes, you're less likely to even be able to gamble.

 

>>>Where are they now? I don't know, but I know that they're not retiring in Malibu with the money they got by breaking the bank.

Actually, some of them are. However, they did so less by perfectly working out the odds, and more by finding mistakes in the manner that casinos conducted their games. There were kids from MIT who exploited the fact that many casinos conducted blackjack using only one or two decks of cards at a time, and by counting the cards, and sending more people in to bet high when the "count" was high, they made a rather impressive profit. Now, of course, every casino plays blackjack with several decks at once, and replenishes the deck before it's even half-empty. And counting is especially useless online, where the "deck" is a virtual one, and you're basically working with a new deck every time.

The funny thing for me is - I actually hold a degree in probability and statistics. And I NEVER gamble. Because when I see gambling places (real and online), I simply see varying amounts of money losers. I know that I'll lose slightly less on Game X on average than Game Y, but I know in the long run, I'll lose money at both. And I simply don't believe in people being "lucky". If I flip a coin and it comes up heads ten times in a row, or twenty times in a row, I still believe I have an exactly 50/50 chance to see heads the next time. The "heads gods" haven't alighted on me or the coin.

My partner likes to go to Vegas, and he likes to gamble. And he actually does quite well - he's paid for the trip at the craps table a few times. But sometimes he loses. And he has a good attitude towards it. He likes winning - no question. But he considers gambling a form of entertainment. So he budgets a set amount for the trip. $100, $250, whatever it is. And once he loses that, that's the end of the gambling for the trip. Once he hit that our first day there. And it meant he didn't gamble the rest of the time. He was a bit peeved by that, but he stuck with it.

He always thought it weird that a math geek like me wouldn't gamble. My job is mainly to stand behind him at the craps table and hold his winnings (so he doesn't gamble it away). He finally convinced me to try it. He fronted me $75 in chips as the dice were passed my way. I anted $25 (the minimum bet at the table), and rolled three times.

And crapped out (double 1s, double 6s, double 1s) all three times.

He doesn't ask why I don't gamble anymore.

Lex

 

Promptly meaning: I'll get off EC now and do it immediately, I hope. because "when I get around to it" is just an invitation to try one more, and one more after that, etc...

I do think that online gambling is more dangerous. Like you say, it doesn't feel real, and above all, you don't have other people standing in the vicinity while you gamble. It's much easier letting yourself go if even that tenuous bit of social control is absent.

I'm going to be a bit mean here, and say that I don't buy the excuse about your mother being the reason for this latest streak. You can make excuses why you kept gambling (one more game, need to get to the magic 1000, have to make mother happy), but at the core, you just were really enjoying it and allowing yourself to get hooked.

Positive thing here is that your mom knows you gamble. so that makes it less of a hurdle to mention to her that you fear that you're developing a real problem here. At the least that will make her think twice before slipping you 50 $ again.

Good luck on finding more help!