Ok, I am kind of 'in your face' about my sexuality. I'm not one of those that purposefully show it off, but I don't hide it either. However I've come to a crossroad, and I have a difficult choice ahead of me, that's why I'd like to have as much input as I can. I have a computer, the wallpaper of this computer is a pic of my boyfriend. I find it quite normal. Then, I'm getting a laptop for next semester, and there are a few classes in which I think it could be really usefull. So I was thinking, should I put his pic as wallpaper as well? I normally would, except that using it at college would be... showing it off... The problem, actually, is not the computer, I have plenty of stuff to put as wallpaper, and save me a lot of trouble... but then again, why should I... or why should it bring me any trouble to have the pic of the guy I love as wallpaper on my PERSONAL computer. Now, I always sit in the front row, so I know for a fact that everyone would see it... (I already said a zillion times, I'm a BIG FREAKING NERD) I have no problem dealing with people, I can take them, specially catholics, both physically and mentally... I've hardly ever loose and argument... but then again, it's the CATHOLIC UNIVERSITY, and while I know for sure that there are quite a few gay guys there, they are not me and I don't care about what they do. Now, I'd be ready to deal with all that if it wasn't for the director of my career. He's one of those narrow minded catholics, and a fully fledged homophobic. And he's a 'friend' of my father's. Not actually a friend, but my father is working with him in a project that is really important for him, so I don't want to ruin their relationship... then again, should he ever discriminate me, I'm certain my father would never forgive him. Which brings me to the matter... I refuse to hide my sexuallity, perhaps I could NOT SHOW IT OFF, but I'm not going to hide it. Then again... should I hide it from him? I mean, for the sake of my father... I'm torn, I don't know what to do... Thanks for taking the time of reading this extensive post...
This picture, is it just of your boyfriend or your and him together? If it's just him, would people really get the meaning of the picture? You know who it is, but would others? I don't know where you goto school, but would the university be able to dismiss you if they found out you are gay? If there is that possibility, then perhaps showing off isn't the best choice. If that is not a possibility, then why hide yourself?
It's just him, and people are not stupid... and even if they don't figure it out on their own, they'd ask. It's the Catholic University of Paraguay, they shouldn't be able to dismiss me for that, but then again... I'm not sure I want to take that risk... I'll have to think it through... Luckyly I have two months to do so...
Well in case anyone was wondering, this is exactly the kind of situation I'm referring to when I make allusions to situations where straight people don't think twice about referencing or "flaunting" their sexuality. I found myself in a somewhat similar situation right after I came out. I kinda came WAY out and yeah, well I put up this huge poster of a shirtless guy (just shirtless and just the top half of him) where I was working at the time. I got asked to take it down, ostensibly because it was so prominent that it might make the customers feel uncomfortable. The thing is, one of the more higher up developers (it was a software development firm) had what I can only call a "girlie" calendar up in full view in his office. So same kinda thing: relatively sexual images of women who weren't wearing too much. More sexual, really. Now, to be fair, the calendar was smaller. But you won't ever convince me that I would have faced the same hooplah if my poster had featured an attractive woman. Or if I had been higher-ranking at the company. So... this is a perfect example of a situation where a straight Goratrix (ha!) would never think twice about using a picture of his girlfriend as a desktop backdrop so if you ever thought "oh I'm a person who just happens to be gay and otherwise it doesn't affect my life," this is the situation that completely exposes that statement as a lie. Now as for what to in this particular situation, well... I understand your dilemma. Once upon a time I would have said, "Are you kidding? Of course you should do it! Why shouldn't you?" But that's me speaking from a much younger and very big-city Canadian point of view. If it was just a matter of dealing with your classmates, I would still lean towards doing it, although admittedly I have no idea what the situation could get like a) in Paraguay and b) in a Catholic university in Paraguay. But if it might damage you academically with a homophobic prof or make life difficult for your father--that's something you've got to seriously weigh the benefits and costs of. More, I think, how it might affect you--how it affects other people is not, to my mind, something you can take full responsibility for. Maybe that sounds selfish but I dunno... trying to figure out how to live your life is tricky enough most of the time--if you had to factor in how every decision you make might affect everyone else, it would be insane. So that, friends and neighbours, is homophobia and heterosexism at work. Poor Goratrix is in a pickle that he really shouldn't be in at all in a perfect world. Actually, I guess in a perfect world he should be able to have a naked picture of his boyfriend on his desktop but you get my drift. But we don't live in a perfect world so life is full of annoyingly difficult decisions. Anyway, whatever you decide, Goratrix, I'll support. I know that's no big deal or anything but I think it's cool it's something you're considering. Not everyone would be able to be that courageous. I'm not sure I would be in a Catholic university setting. So even if you decide against it, you're asking the right questions.
Well first of all why are you putting it as your background anyway.....like it's perfectly fine with me about the whole "in your face" out thing but...why put a pic of your boyfriend there anyway....thats a little obsessive....no offense but straight people don't put pics of their GF of their computers...so it's not really hiding anything...i mean no offense to you in any way but i'm just making a point....and sorry if you find any harm in what i have said
You're KIDDING, right? I know tons of people that have backdrops of their significant others on their desktops! Straight people "flaunt" their straightness all the time without even thinking about it because heterosexism makes us think that heterosexuality is the background default.
Even more, I know many straight guys that put pictures of women wearing almost nothing, even at workplaces, and obviously not their GF. And I know people that have pictures of their faimily on they desktop and wallpaper, and even slide shows in their screen saver. The point is that even though it is quite obsessive, that's how I am, and therefore I don't care about what people do or don't do... It's just that I want a picture of my boyfriend on my wallpaper... that's all. Besides, why should I do what straight guys do??? I'm not straight in case that wasn't clear ;-) (btw proud_2b_gay456: don't worry, it would take a lot more to offend me, and if you should ever come to that point, apologizing won't help, trust me )
