Should I tell my parents?

Well, since you're out to your sister, why not bring her aboard? Let her know you're thinking about coming out to your parents, but aren't sure if you should do it before you head off to college. She might be able to give you some more insight into it.

Lex

 

I think that coming out before you leave is the best answer. I mean, your Mom is gonna be worrying anyway. You could say something like you want to be honest with her about how things are going, what your experiences are like there, etc. You want them to know about your life away, so that they can support you if there are problems, and applaud you for your successes. And your life away includes being openly gay.

My Mom was a worrier as well. When I came out to my parents after my freshman year of university, she was of course certain that it was the university and all its evil people corrupting her little boy and making me gay. I mean, that idea of hers didn't last long, but it would have been nice to not have to deal with and argue that point.

 

I dont really like giving advice, but I think you are lucky that your parents have a good chance of accepting you being gay. My parents are still reacting badly, and my mom still cries when she see's me (after they found out in April this year). It seems like you are pretty open with your parents, and that they would appreciate the honesty. But, talk to your sister, and ultimately, it's up to you. Good luck in whatever you choose!

 

I'd say come out before you leave for school. That way you can just start a new life when you move. That was my plan and it worked well for me. I was just willing to be "out" from Day 1 and so far that plan has worked for me so far. I don't have to worry if my parents were to "find out" or anything like that and people there are accepting / don't even mildly care if you're gay. It may make it harder NOW - telling them, having to talk about it, etc. But trust me, once you get to school you won't have it looming over your head on your To-Do list and you can just enjoy your new life. If you can come out to your parents and feel confident in doing so, I would definitely reccomend it. However, if you don't, it's not the end of the world. There is no set date you MUST do it by or the world explodes. However, in your case it sounds like everything will work out well in the end. You have a sibling who is accepting it sounds and you think your parents will be OK with it, so it's just a matter of time to allow them to adjust and realize that you're still the same son they've always had, they just now know more about you.

 

I was really stressing out about coming out to my parents before I left for college, but I just couldn't do it. And to be honest it really hasn't made a difference in day to day life here. Only thing is the relationship between me and my parents is a lot weaker than it could be, because it is obvious I'm hiding stuff from them when I talk to them.

If you're comfortable with yourself than do it! Get excited about it and reach out for support before you do it! You'll feel so much better when you do!

 

I think coming out before you leave would be the best option. Also like Lex said ask get your sister to help you. Atleast tell your Mum if not your Dad.

 

Hi fringelunatic,

I have to say that your sentence on your parents criticizing your grammar and punctuation was quite funny. It made me smile, because I have found that sometimes I am reading a note, being totally wound up in the spelling and punctuation mistakes, that I miss the entire point of what is being written!

One thing that you can do before you decide is to start conversations that somewhat hint at homosexuality, and see how your parents react or behave to the subject. Perhaps mention a celebrity (Russell Tovey is a good one, or that Captain Jack from Torchwood).

Maybe ask them what their stance is on same-sex marriage (not so much a hint, but still somewhat subtle). Perhaps delve deeper into their views on such relationships. You might have to use your imagination and be creative on these conversations. Just get their mind in that stream of thinking, perhaps even putting your two cents in. Maybe you can mention, based on their views of homosexuality, that you believe God (if you are religious) would want everyone to have love, or that you believe everyone should have a chance at a basic human right and need--love.

This may help them see the true human in you, the one with heart and soul. A person who has compassion for other people, no matter who they are. Maybe it will help sway their own beliefs, too, if only a little.

Based on your observations on their answers and their views of the subject, and how well you have conditioned their minds (in a way) through conversation and your own views on human sexuality, love and experience, you can make your decision. I have done this exact same thing, yet it took some time for me. You may be more well prepared, however, and be able to make your decision much rapidly that I have.

Good luck on every thing you do! Let us know what happens.

You might also

 

you should tell them right away if you think they have enough time to accept it and everything before you leave. That's my opinion.

If you're leaving like SUPER SOON then maybe tell them once you're gone

 

It sounds like you don't have too much to worry about with your parents. I'd get it done.

 

Why don't you bring it up over dinner tonight?

 

Good luck, however I don't think you'll need it. It sounds like you have great parents that will accept you for who you are. Have fun at school in September!

 

Agree with Titanium you go out there and say it good luck!!!

 

Good luck!

 

Good luck! We're behind you.