So me and 5 other friends (two of them being a guy-girl couple) got this 2-apartment house near our college campus. I decided to live on the first floor with the girl, Sam, who I'm best friends with, and another friend of mine, Mike. Upstairs it was Darius, Nick, and Joe (Sam's boyfriend). Well Nick has caused problems for every other person in the house at some point, and seems to continuously cause problems for Sam and Joe. And now it has gotten so bad that Mike and Joe are switching rooms. We purposely set it up so that Joe and Sam would be on separate floors - in separate apartments - so that if they ever broke up, they'd each have their own floors to go to. But as I type this, Joe's stuff is being moved onto my floor, and Mike is moving in - I guess now upstairs - tomorrow. I'm gonna feel awkward as hell being the third wheel in my own apartment, even though I'm friends with the both of them. And if something bad does happen between them, I'm fucked! Classes start this Monday and I really don't need this. I just feel like I don't know what to do. I can't move out, and I can't change what is going on right now. I felt like letting this out. However if anyone's got advice, that'd be nice.
I'm not entirely sure how shuffling these two around will make Nick less of a hassle on everybody, but I'm guessing it's simply a rationale to get Joe and Sam together. First and foremost, this is their dealy bob. Don't worry about what might happen down the road. Will you be a "third wheel"? Yes. But you seem aware of this, which is half the battle. Just remain friendly to everybody, and focus on your stuff. Lex
Thanks. And you're right, Nick is still gonna cause problems for someone else at some point. But since he and Joe ALWAYS go at it, and Joe is always on my floor all the time anyway spending time with his girlfriend, Mike and Nick felt the best solution was for Mike and Joe to switch. I think the best solution would be for Nick to move out. And he almost did move out in the beginning of the summer because that was another time he and Joe were fighting. But I guarantee Nick will piss off Mike and/or Darius at some point. He's pissed them off before. He's even assaulted Darius once...yes, assaulted. However Darius kicked his ass afterwards. Serves Nick right.
I had a similar situation in my apartment during my last year of university. I was the third wheel as two of my housemates were quite good friends and also a couple. (There was a fourth wheel but she wasn't as close to any of us). And god did the couple fight! While I did socialize and we shared dinners and whatnot, I basically just stayed out of any drama and focused on my classes and my work and my (other) friends. That's all you can do in this situation.
Whenever there is confrontations like that I just try to not get into them. If you're not in the "problem", don't make yourself get into it. If they have relationship problems and they talk to you about it, be a middle-man and don't choose sides, just agree that person X is diogn something annoying, but maybe mention how person Y could do something to avoid that issue or improve their relationship...just be a mentor not a side-taker and I think you'll be fine. That is a whole lot of gay for one apartment though. LOL
I'm not worried about them involving me in the event of conflict between them. But I just don't want to be living with a couple that is fighting. Like if I can sense the tension between them, or they're just gonna be yelling at eachother, that's not a good situation to be living with, even if I just stay in my room to stay away from it. But that itself would be the problem, I shouldn't have to go to my room to get away from it. It's actually not. This is a straight couple. I'm the only gay guy in the house, and Sam is the only girl in the house.
Hi there! No it is not, but if something does happen, there is nothing you can really do. As Lex mentioned above, all you can really do is concentrate on your own stuff. Should they have an argument down the road, and it becomes too much for you, maybe take your stuff and go to a coffee shop for a while and just read something there. I think it would be good if you would not be a part of it, if it does happen. It is really easy to get sucked into arguments and fights, and you want to avoid that situation. However, is there a possibility that you could switch with someone so that you can live on the second floor if that would make it easier on you? But here is something else to keep in mind. Being at college, you might find yourself actually spending more time on campus than in your room or apartment so you might not even get to experience all their arguments or fights should they happen down the road. Also, if Nick has already caused problems for everyone else, why can't you guys give him an ultimatum and say to him, "listen, you either shape up, and stop causing problems, or we will ask you to move out."
