debating on smoking plus

When I show up at the front gate at Disneyland, I know I'm just gonna to leave by the same exit eventually. So why bother?

Because all the fun shit is INSIDE. So I get my ass in there and have as much fun as I possibly can before I have to leave.

What should you do? Take your cutting implement, cut your smokesinto little tiny pieces, drop them in the alcohol, throw that shit away, and let's work on getting you to a better place.

Lex

 

Get out of your house and go for a walk. I don't know your past, but I do know that in the best interests for your future you need to put all those things behind you. As for stuff to do during the day you can always go for walks, read a book or build something (I built a tipi in my back yard one day cause I was bored). On a final note, please don't repress your emotions, I'm sure you know that there are people on here who will talk with you and want to help you out and I'm included in that okay? Stay Safe

 

Hi Matt (*hug*),

I think you already know neither of these options will do you any good or is going to help you.
I know you're a smart guy, I know you have been dealing with those things for a while, and I am sure you have already figure that if those things may give you the feeling you're escaping your issues for a while, your issues are striking back and even harder after doing them.
You're not going to be out of medication for long, you and your mum are going to find a way for your prescription to be renew. I know having to deal with your issues without medication, even for a small amount of time is scary and won't be fun, but you can make it. So don't start ruining the positive effects your treatment had on your by going back to your old habits : this is definitly not worthy.
For the cutting part, I know how it could be very hard to deal with self-harming urges.
But here are a few things you can do :
You said you've got everything you need in your room. Pack everything you would use, and give it to your mum.
Try to stay with someone. A friend, or a family member. Tell them what's going on, that you're going to run out of meds, that it's making you anxious and that you feel like going back to your old coping mechanism instead. Let them know you need them and that it would be better for you not to stay alone.
Don't hesitate to call your therapist either, or a help line, or Chip.
If you really have to deal alone with the urges for a while maybe you can try some sport, something that can be exhausting but where you don't need to concentrate, like running or swimming.
What used to help me to deal with extreme cutting urges was to tear up pieces of paper in the smallest possible pieces. Or to collor every square on a piece of paper in a different color. I know it may not work for you, but you can try, and maybe you'll find something that would work for you.
Keep holding on. You son't need to smoke, drink or cut to get through this. You can make it.
Many (*hug*), Cécile

 

Get away from the alcohol and shit right now.

Go outside and listen to some music.
Call or visit a friend.
Talk to your family.
Go for a walk.
Exercise.
Write, draw, be creative.
Try cooking something.
Read books, or a comic strip.
If things are really bad, call an anonymous help line.

Just do something that will keep you busy, and hopefully engage you socially as well. Get your parents or someone you know loves you and get them to help you to do what Lex suggested:


Take your cutting implement, cut your smokesinto little tiny pieces, drop them in the alcohol, throw that shit away, and let's work on getting you to a better place.

 

WHO gets hurt when you reach out? You're certainly reaching out right now - to us - and I don't see anybody getting hurt. So keep reaching out to us if it's helping at all. We don't mind in the slightest.

Lex

 

I sympathize with the emotions you are going through right now, Matt. I went through it a lot in high school, and I still deal with them now from time to time. That hopelessness that nothing in life will ever get better. That feeling of meaninglessness to everything you do. That feeling that anything you try to do to distract yourself will be pointless. I've been through it all, so I hope I can help you in some way, in a way I wish someone had been able to help me.

First of all, repressing your emotions is a horrible, horrible idea, as blankpaper already said, because the only emotions we can successfully repress are the good ones and the mildly bad ones. That leaves the worst of the bad ones as the only emotions you'll be able to feel. If you try to suppress your emotions, you'll end up only feeling the worst of the bad emotions that you weren't able to keep under a lid, and you won't have the positive emotions to contrast them to.

Emotions can be a scary thing, especially when they can reach deep lows like they seem to have with you. What you need to understand is that the reason we feel those horrible lows is that without them, the good emotions would be meaningless. Those lows are necessary for the emotional highs (happiness, satisfaction, love, etc.) to exist. Without sadness, happiness would mean nothing because we wouldn't even be able to conceptualize the absence of happiness.

However, when you are in those emotional low moments, if you're anything like me, you forget that you are capable of feeling those emotional highs. You think that all there is in your world is those negative emotions, because at that present moment, that is indeed all there is in your world. But life is so much more than those negative emotions; the difficult part is somehow remembering that when you are at those low points. Perspective if your key out.

This might be hard to hear, but your answer may lie in doing the exact opposite of repressing your emotions. You may need to embrace them, both the good and the bad, because it sounds like you have plenty of the bad already. As I said, if you try to repress your emotions, you'll only feel the worst of the worst of them, because you weren't able to repress those. But if you embrace all of your emotions, the good and the bad, you'll be able to feel the full spectrum, and if you can embrace the bad ones, you'll feel more in control, and might not feel like you need to resort to your old coping mechanisms. You'll be able say, "Yes, this is my sadness, and this sucks. It will pass, though, but for now, it is here to stay, so I just have to wait."

Because if you keep doing what you are doing now, you are guaranteeing that nothing will change and that your life will stay as bad as it is now. By not doing anything, you are already pushing you luck. Things aren't going to get better if you keep using the same coping mechanisms you used in the past.

That is exactly the problem. You are using a coping mechanism you know is going to work for only a short time, but will ultimately hurt you and not help your issues. The things that actually work to help you through your negative emotions aren't going to come easy to you, one, because nothing that works easily is going to last, and the things that do work take effort, and two, because they'll be new to you. But you're not going to change anything if you don't accept that you need to do something differently. Yes, it's going to be scary, because it's unfamiliar. But I ask you, which is a more frightening prospect: doing something unfamiliar that might help you or might not, or being miserable for the rest of your life? You're facing that second prospect right now, because you have dismissed the first.

The take-away message from that is, just because your past attempts to find help haven't been successful doesn't mean you should give up. If one therapist didn't work for you, try another. (My first one didn't do a thing for me; only the second one was able to help.) If one new, non-destructive coping mechanism doesn't work, try another. Keep trying new things until you find something that actually works for you. Don't ever give up, because there are a million and one ways out there to get through sadness, and not all of them will work for you. It may take a lot of tries, but if you keep trying, you're bound to find something that can help you through your down spots that won't end up hurting you.

Why should you do this? For yourself. I know you said that you weren't going to go back to your old habits because you care about what we think, but the hardest and most necessary thing you need to do is develop that internal motivation to say no to your old habits. What you need to realize is that you are worth it. Again, that's not going to be easy, and there's nothing I can say to make you magically realize that you yourself are worth fighting for, but that is your eventual goal throughout all of this. This is a challenge, without a doubt, but your reward when you get through it will be to be able to face your future challenges and say to yourself, "I'm going to find some way to get through this, for me."

No, no, no; being alone is the worst thing you can do to yourself right now. When I go through what you are going through, I find that being around other people is the best way to affirm that it's all worth it and is the best way to distract myself from my own issues. Good friends are a much better coping mechanism than any substance or razor, because they can distract your from your issues like your current coping mechanisms can, but they won't harm your body, they can reassure you that things are going to be ok, and they can actively help you through it and help you get any extra help you need. Yes, friends move away and people die, but if you try to not make any friends, the only alternative is always being alone and friendless. It's the change of friendlessness vs. the guarantee of friendlessness. Put another way, it's a chance at having friends vs. the guarantee that you won't; which is the better option? Again, it's a risk, but it's a risk you need to take, because it's the only way you're going to have a shot at any sort of positive experience.

You say that you don't want to reach out because someone always ends up hurt when you do. Then if you take only one thing away from this post, make it this: the best thing I can advise you to do is to do something nice for your friends. Help them move stuff, help them with homework, help them with a job they need to get done, drive them somewhere if you can, be there for them when they go through their own dark times, or just hang out with them and give them some company. I'm not telling you to do all of those things, but find something you can do to help your friends out in some way. See, paradoxically, one of the most sure-fire ways to make ourselves happy is to help other people and make them happy. We're social animals, so we have evolved to feel happy when helping someone else, and helping someone else with their problems takes our focus away from our own problems. It can also help to give you some perspective. While it's no panacea, doing things for others is one of the best ways I can think of to help you with your problems.

And just like everything I mentioned above, it might not be easy, and you might need to step outside of your comfort zone, but you should know by now what the alternative is; the same misery you have been going through and the same ineffectual coping mechanisms you have been using. But you don't have to suffer, and you don't have to live like this. Please, for your own sake, consider what I have suggested.

Edit: And feel free to PM me for any reason if any of this has resonated with you.

 

Well logically, drinking responsibly won't hurt you.

But weed and cigarettes are bad for your lungs and cutting will leave you with . . . well, cuts.

Find something to inspire you, find art or something like that. Time will cure your pain (along with prescribed doses of medication if you're clinically depressed)

Fear not, and be strong just don't worry there's really nothing to fear

 

>>>Well logically, drinking responsibly won't hurt you.

"Everclear" and "drinking responsibly" rarely show up in the same sentence.

Lex

 

This isn't help sweetheart, and you know that. It's easy for sure, probably far more easy than staying sober and resisting the cutting urges. But it is not help. And even if it does alleviate stress for som time (wich is not even sure, as you can totaly bad tripping under drugs or alcohol influence), you know the stress is going to come back even worse after doing this, and that you'll feel obliged to do it again and again, and you'll ended up addicted on top of all the issues you already have.
I really don't think it's necessary to make things worse than they already are.

Well done !

Then give her this stuff too.

If you mean by this that your family and friends are worrying for you, yes they do, but in the same time that's exactly what they need and want to do. When one of my friends or family members is having troubles, I want to know, I want to help, and I would certainly be mad if they were keeping me in the dark to protect me. I prefer a million time being worried sick than not to know what's going on. And I'm sure your family and friends feel the same when it comes about you.

I hope you're doing a bit better (*hug*). Feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk or need some support.
Take care of yourself (*hug*), Cécile

 

yeh, tip the booze out yeh its stress relieving and such while your drinking and relaxing but then when u become sober Bam back down you go, well thats what usually happens to me.As much as you want it tip that shit down the drain hope you feel better soon

 

I didn't read all the responses but i'll just say this:

Dude, you gotta look at the bright side of things, even if it's hard to see sometimes. A rejection in some area could actually lead you to a great thing in the end. For example, My first job was at an ice cream place, It was pretty good, but I didn't show up one day because of a family thing, told them I wouldn't be able to go, and I got fired. Sure I was devistated at first, but a month later I ended up with a much better job in a warehouse, making MUCH more money than I would and having a lot more fun than I would. I would not have got that job if it wasnt for being fired from the first one.

All things have a bright side, you just gotta find them. Be creative, sometimes they're hard to find.

You do not need to cut, drink, or smoke.
As many people may know about me on here, I'm in no way an advocate for abstinence. I believe people should try things before they shun it, and everything in moderation, but it seems like you've tried these things, and if you needed medication to stop them, then clearly they weren't working to begin with.

Never drink to distract yourself from a problem, only drink to have fun or relax. and only in moderation.

You'll look back on this thread in a few years and realize how much of a big deal you're making alcohol and drugs and laugh at yourself.

I hope you can find the bright side of your situation!

---------- Post added 29th Aug 2010 at 08:54 PM ----------

Ha ha ha, so true lex, so true.

 

Smoking, drinking, and cutting, eh? Smoke all the pot you want, it's pretty fucking safe. Don't drink and cut you won't form scabs right and you might actually kill yourself LOL.

Martial arts and glowstringing? How about a jog? How about some people, some hellos and conversations? Just don't engage in the self-destructive behavior. Your posting it here because you want someone to stop you. It means you know it's bad. You can stop yourself, too.

 

And for anything that involves psychotic symptoms, since it's show to be able to trigger psychotic episodes in those who already have psychosis or have a predisposition to it.

---

Matt, instead of cutting, have you tried snapping an elastic band where you usually cut? It tends to help a lot of people with the urge.

 

This is what eventually got my sister to stop cutting altogether. She wore brightly colored rubber bands around her wrists for a couple months, and found that just one or two snaps were sufficient to ground her, and they didn't leave scars or the possibility of infections.

 

YAY! Congrats throwing all that stuff away and really trying to fight this Good Luck!