On Tuesday I had my first driving lesson. The instructor said I did okay, but I was really nervous. Natural? Yeah. Well, I drove a little better on the second and third lessons, and I got my permit for driving the six hours. However, I'm still a nervous wreck when it comes to driving. Today was the second time I drove after getting my permit, and I almost crashed into a jughandle curb because I wasn't sure which lane to turn into. I'm not really sure if this was because my dad's directions were poor (he said, "Turn into this lane," and I thought he meant that right lane, not the center lane). After this incident, I completely lost it and just got really upset. I hate driving, and driving with my dad just makes this hate more intense. Everyone is telling me I just need more practice, but I don't want to drive anymore! However, I know driving is very essential and I feel like I just have to suck it up and drive. But I'm not someone who just does things without analyzing viewpoints and all possible situations. In truth, I need more confidence in myself and an optimistic attitude. But I don't know how to achieve those things, even though I'm always getting lots of self-esteem boosts from people. I just tend to push the encouragement away, and I never let myself be confident or positive. In driving, if one doesn't have either of these two vitals, then it can be dangerous for a person such as myself to drive. I'm not one of those people that can change in an instant; it actually takes an extremely long time for me to change my behavior or attitude towards something. Can anyone help me figure out ways to boost my confidence and gain a positive attitude? I just feel really angry at myself because I won't just be confident and stay like that. Also, can anyone give suggestions on what I can do to not be nervous (but PLEASE don't tell me "practice")? Thanks for reading and any help is appreciated.
Honestly, everyone gets a bit like that when they first start driving. You just have to be confident in your driving skills. Trust me, the more nervous and scared you are the more likely you are to cause an accident. You have to be calm. Also, practice, practice, practice! Just ignore what your dad says and focus on driving. Tell him to only chime in if absolutely necessary. You choose what turns to do, etc.. Don't let him navigate.
Think about the things that you do well. If you only focus on things that you have issues with or that you think you don't do well at, then you're just thinking negative thoughts about yourself all the time. And it's impossible to have confidence and a positive attitude when you're just reinforcing negative thoughts. It takes a while to get in the habit of thinking positively, but it's well worth the effort. Well, you'll need to practice, because that is how you become better at driving. But you also need to be in the right frame of mind. If you're working yourself up over how you can't drive and don't want to drive anymore, then you're driving won't get any better and you'll still be nervous about it. Stay calm and alert when you drive and you'll do fine. And if you can't handle your dad with you in the car, maybe another family member could help you learn how to drive?
Many, many years ago I taught driver's ed. And most students were rather like you. Very nervous and worried when they started. What I discovered was, almost magically, somewhere around the 10th or 15th hour of driving (in traffic, not on streets with no other cars) there was a complete shift in the comfort and confidence level with driving. It's a lot to worry about, and I can remember, before I learned to drive, wondering if I'd ever be able to do it. Also, parents are usually not the greatest at giving instruction or direction. If it's legal in your state, and you have a friend who is helpful and attentive, maybe drive with him or her and get input and suggestions (and just practice) from doing that.
It really is just a confidence thing, honestly. Once you feel more comfortable behind the wheel driving really becomes just like riding a bike. I don't know if your instructor will do it, but one thing mine did for all the students was have them simulate mistakes. When it was safe to do so, he would have us run just off the edge of the road, roll onto a curb, lightly hit the front of the car on a pole or something. All just so you know what it sounds and feels like when that happens so you don't panic.
If it helps at all as soon as I got my permit i spent about 1-2 months just driving around in an empty company parking lot during the weekends when noone was around. I practiced everything from staying in lanes to parking to braking and pretending there were cars in certain areas to avoid. Hell I even had some little cones from when I did soccer on the ground at times as avoidence zones. If you aren't comfortable on the actual road yet find a nice big empty parking lot to practice in until you feel like you can drive on the road. Being around other drivers is definetly nervewracking. Still is for me sometimes.
I know how you feel. Try practicing in more open places like parking lots. Then transition into just driving around the block. Then go into different neighborhoods. It'll feel more natural.
My kids were fortunate that they learned to "drive" when they were 2 years old. They started with 4-wheelers, went to riding lawnmowers, then it was the golf cart their Grandpa bought them. Then we'd take them out in the country and let them drive on a dirt road somewhere. I really think its tougher when you get thrown in a car at 15 so I applaud you for trying. My 15 year old nephew has no desire to drive. I like Chip's idea about finding someone other than your Dad to teach you. You need to have trust in and feel comfortable around that person. Then drive in less populated areas like a dirt road somewhere or a parking lot depending on the area where you live. Soon you will feel more comfortable behind the wheel.
It sounds about normal. I remember when I was first learning to drive, I'd pull the seat WAY up forward, make sure the radio was off, and drive with my eyes open extremely wide, positive something would go majorly wrong any second. The more I drove, the more confident I became in my skills, and the more relaxed I got. I actually got very lucky when I was learning to drive. They had just built a new neighborhood near where I live. The streets were paved, all the road signs were there, and a couple houses were built. But there was NOBODY there. So my father (or sometimes my mother) would take me down there to practice. I could practice making left turns, and backing up, and obeying street signs....all without any other traffic! You assumedly won't have something like this near you, but do you have something similar? A huge parking lot (like at a sports stadium) that's empty? You might try driving around there for a while to gain some confidence. Lex
As chip said, get a friend to teach you. Parents are pretty bad at that sort of thing. also, a friend is likely to have been taught more recently, with better (stricter) testing, and they wouldn't have picked up as many bad habits as your parents have (who probably just drove the local cop around the block and 'passed') Keep in mind, some people are awesome at driving, some people are average, and some people are shit. No matter what category you fall under, it seems all of them can get a license.
That's totally normal, I was HORRIBLE at driving when I first started. Horrible throttle control, horrible steering. I couldn't pull into a parking spot without totally fucking it up. However, now I consider myself to be pretty awesome at driving. The thing that got me there was PRACTICE. If you don't like your dad's instructions (I don't like my dad's driving instructions either), go with your mom or with a sibling who is over the age that is required in your state. Practice on backroads where there are less cars or a parking lot and advance from there. Even though it sounds bad, go to an empty street/parking lot, go about 25MPH and slam on the brakes. Most people don't know what happens when they slam on their brakes so when the time comes when they need to, they are scared. Just try it, see if the car stops, slides or what...give it a whirl.
