So, I can't believe that I am on here doing this. I don't normally ask for help, but since I realized that I was gay, I have needed someone to talk to and so I've found this site. I know you have all heard it before, but it helps me saying it again, I guess. I'm terrified of coming out. Honestly, I have never been more frightened before. I have dreams of having kids, or at least raising them, and I feel as if that has now been ripped from me. I want to be a teacher, and I am almost done with my Bachelors degree in education, but I've watched how gay teachers are scoffed at by the parents. I don't want that to happen to me... I guess what I'm asking is if anyone has any advice on these two subjects, adopting kids with a partner (I know I'm only 21 and that is a long ways away) or being a teacher. These are the things I care about most in life right now and I fear that if I come out, those parts will be over. I don't want to stay in the closet forever, but I am horrified to open the door as well. Any advice at all is much appreciated...
Welcome to EC! First off, yes, we've heard it all before, but that just means we've got some experience to share with you. And that's something we excel at. Know that coming out is very often like pulling a splinter out of your finger. It seems like it's going to hurt like hell, there's this big build-up, and then..."Wait, that's it?" Coming out is basically something to just get on the other side of. So you can get on with your life, start dating, and not worry about who knows and who doesn't. Hopefully, we can help you down that track. I actually studied to be a teacher myself, but got sidetracked and found another career that interested me more. So I never had to deal directly with this. (My current career is very gay-friendly.) Will some parents look askance at you because you're gay? Sure. Some will also look askance at you for being single, or your manner of dress. People judge for some pretty dumb reasons sometimes. And know that the stigma against gay teachers is rapidly growing less and less. As far as having kids? Look, being gay means one thing - you dig guys. That's it. Nothing else. Everything else in your life stays the same. If you want to work a 9-to-5 job, stop by the sports bar on the way home and cheer for your favorite team, then go home to your picket-fence-enclosed three-bedroom home in the suburbs with your honey and kids waiting...you can have it. The only difference is your wife is gonna have a penis. Again, welcome to the site! Lex
haha Thanks for the reply Lex. I feel so much better just asking those questions online to be honest and actually seeing someone respond to them.
Hi and welcome to EC (*hug*), first, congratulations for coming out to yourself, that's already a huge step done. And I'm glad you found EC, I hope we'll be able to help you a little I'm a teacher myself, in primary school, and I know several of my colleagues who are gay or lesbian. This never had been an issue for them. They got exactly the same amount of crap from parents that other teachers do, but as far as I know, this crap had never been about their sexuality. So I think that if you want to be a teacher, then being gay shouldn't prevent you to do it. As for having kids, I'm not exactly familiar with the adoption system in the US, but I for goal is ti have a partner and a family, there is absolutly no reasons to give up on that either. I'm sure other people are going to answer you with more helpful answers than me. So make yourself at home and enjoy your stay here. Take care, Cécile
Funny how close you and I are... I'm a teacher myself the way I go about it is to never tell anybody at the school that I'm gay so I never run into that problem. Ive only been out of the closet for a week but nobody has said anything bad about it to me.
Thanks everyone. I suppose every teacher is going to face some sort of crap one way or another, I'm just glad to hear that there aren't tons of problems about it. Thanks again.
