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finally came up with something

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Danny19, Aug 30, 2010.

  1. Danny19

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    ok so i have come to a conclusion that im gay. Not bi. I thought a lot about this and i just cant see myself with a woman. As much as i wish i did. Today was my first day of college and i just couldnt stop looking at all the hot dudes. There were a lot of hot chicks too but i just wasnt feeling it. And then i saw a friend that i thought i had a crush on. I thought about her and i love her, but not in the way that i could have a relationship with her. She is amazing and there were days that i couldnt get her off my mind. But i thought about it and i just dont think i would have sex with a woman. Im sorry but i dont like boobs that much, or their other part. I can recognize a sexy woman when i see one, but i cant get the idea of doing it with them. However, Men are just amazing to me. I like every feature of men. Their masculinity, their rough yet soft personalities(at least on some) Their bone structure. And even though i have never had a crush on a guy, i have felt extremely attracted to them. I just love guys. not girls.

    And not only have I come to the conclusion im gay, but i have also officially accepted who I am. And i have this weird feeling, i dont know why, but i like being gay. I feel like if there was a way to actually turn straight i wouldnt do it. I dont know why, at first I thought I did but now I just dont. I think its because this is who I am and who I am supposed to be. Its part of me. And In a few years from now I see myself actually being happy with a guy. Instead of miserable with a girl. And even though I do feel lonely and I wish I had someone I figured I got the rest of my life for that, but hopefully finding that special someone wont take me that long to find.

    Anyways I feel sort of relieved that im not confused anymore and also kinda happy. This is the first time in my life that im fully accepting of myself. And the advice i need is what should be my next step in this? I just want to be completely happy, im tired of having to have thos rollercoaster days where my mood keeps going up and down. So what should i do now?
     
  2. george678

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    I am really happy that you have accepted your Gay, I think what you should do now is maybe talk to your best friends who you can trust about it, and maybe start coming out to people if your ready.

    Well done for accepting it yourself, that is the first step.
     
  3. Danny19

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    thanks.. and i thought of telling one of my closest and friends and even thought i know that she will be accepting, i feel very nervous and like everything is going to change. And i feel ready, but then again not ready. Thats the only confusing part again
     
  4. george678

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    Well when you first come out to somebody, a lot of weight to taken off your shoulders so to speak, but if you don't think your ready then don't do it. What do you think your parent's would be like?
     
  5. Danny19

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    Um well i feel like everyone around me including my parents would be supportive. My moms told me before that if any of her children where to be gay she would be okay with it. The thing is i dont know if im ready. There are days when i feel like I want to yell it out. But others i dont.
     
  6. george678

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    I was like you, I was changing my mind 3 or 4 times a day :S and after a few weeks came out, I had to, but your Mom sounds supportive so I would come out to her first? And talk about it with her.
     
  7. Danny19

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    yea ive been debating with myself wether or not to come out. and thanks for the advice, but I dont want my mom to be the first to find out about this. I want to tell a friend first.
     
  8. george678

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    Okay, and come out to a close friend when your ready, don't rush it and later regret it. :slight_smile:
     
  9. darkcheesse

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    for the first time i found its much easyier to tell someone computer screen to computer screen not face to face. like you when i was thing of coming out i was nervous as hell!, it gets easier the more you do it. i found its much easier coming out someone who is gay, as they know what your going through. but only come out to people when your truly comfertable with it. hope this helps
     
  10. Danny19

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    thanks. however i dont have any gay friends. so that would be hard.
     
  11. darkcheesse

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    well then just wait untill you feel truly comfertable telling someone
     
  12. Danny19

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    well this is going to be very difficult considering im a very undecisive person. but hopefully i can decide fast because this closet is getting kinda lonely
     
  13. darkcheesse

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    same here, just set your self a goal like im going to come out to person a by the end of next month. its worked for me a few times, cause i felt i was letting myself down if i didn't.
    hope this helps in anyway
     
  14. Chip

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    Danny, congrats on coming to that place where you not only accept, but are happy with yourself! That's an amazing place to be and i'm sure it feels good.

    And as much as it might not seem like it now, it will feel just as good to come out to people. I'll lay money your mom already knows... I seriously doubt she'd have given you the little speech if she didn't know. So coming out to her should be a no-brainer even though I know it will still be a pretty big deal.

    And as for your friends... just do it when you're ready. I think you'd be fine doing it now, from what you've said, but you are the one who will know for sure :slight_smile:
     
  15. squall2

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    Im glad you have found out who you really are and are happy :slight_smile: i dont think im quite there yet but i hope i will get there soon. I bet it feels great.

    Telling girls in my opinion is easier but its so hard to take that first step. I told my friend when i was drunk at a club, a bit of Dutch courage. However if they are really your friends they wont be bothered one bit :slight_smile: good luck
     
  16. csm123

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    Hi Danny,so pleased your happy with yourself and considering letting some others know that your gay.

    Those thoughts and urges to come out to someone get even stronger as time goes on and basicly start consuming you up,they certainly dont go away,so when you feel confident to do it,i recomend telling whichever friend you had in mind.Even when only one other person knows you will feel a whole lot better and more confident to tell someone else.

    As far as family goes, everyone is in a fairly uniqe position as every family is differant and has differant views.You sound to be very lucky as your mother sounds very accepting.It seems to me that she would have only had that little talk because she either suspects or knows and is giving you an opening to confirm it.Although it will still be difficult,coming out to her first in your family could make the whole process alot easier.

    Good luck on getting started coming out,its so much better on this side of the fence.