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how to b a loser in 10 days

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by neverover, Sep 23, 2007.

  1. neverover

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    i hate my f-ing classmate. i was a fun deviant last month, but now, im a loser deviant. everybody seems 2 pickin up on me. calling me a lil bit of fag, lil bit of a royal highness, sum of this & sum of that. theres this b*tch that keep on gossiping on me. let me tell u sumthin, i save that bit*hes ass from humilliation last year, acknowledgeable tho. its like, everybody is a big A & im a tiny lil z. plz help! i cnt stand this til next year.thx
     
  2. Ilayis

    Ilayis Guest

    screw the people that call you names!Ignore em
     
  3. Nerdtendo

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    Words have no meaning, Man created them. Man can also Ignor them as the little blows of wind they are.
     
  4. Rette

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    Nill illigitimi carborundum(Do not let the bastards get you down)

    Let them gossip. What a sad existence they must live if they have to try and tear you down to build themselves up.
     
  5. George1

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    Just throw it back at them! :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: Just simply say "Well if that's your prerogative then so be it" or something like that.
     
  6. Phantomblade

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    i dissagree. the effect would be lost I really dont think they know what the word Prerogative means. :grin:
    but seriously just what people always say is true "if you just ignore them they will go away". thats really the best plan of action
     
  7. George1

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    Trust me, I've been doing the whole ignoring crap for years with my situation and I still get picked on day in and day out. The bullies need to be humiliated, made to look dumb, or alternatively if one gets expelled the rest will cower away in fear.
     
  8. Dantir

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    IMO name calling can't stop. I go through it all with my "friends" and no matter what I do they still do it. They would find it funny if I died, they blame me for everything, so yeah, they're not exactly "friends".

    Not to dishearten you, but ignoring it or telling an authoritive or saying it back won't do anything. If it doesn't stop them from getting to you, they will continue to do so.

    The best thing to do is not to let it get to you - that's what they want.

    This is from my own experiences though, it may not be true for everybody. :slight_smile:
     
  9. surfrboykai

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    yah brah, don't let people harsh yer mellow. the worst thing you can do to them is be totally unaffected
     
  10. EthanS

    EthanS Guest

    i say get that bitch
     
  11. Ty

    Ty Guest

    Read a book.
     
  12. IHeartDisney

    IHeartDisney Guest

    No offense but you remind me of Crush from Finding Nemo....hehe
     
  13. Tim C

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    Generally speaking, people are lazy. That's why they go after easy targets. As long as you make yourself an easy target, people will go after you. So you need to ask yourself what you're doing to put a target on yourself that says, "say mean things to me, treat me like I'm worthless."

    Being gay can make it easier for people to think they can go at you. It's your job to show them that they can't. So you need to start with yourself and make some major changes in the way you present yourself to others if you want them to treat you with more respect.

    To start with, you need to realize that you're not a loser. All of us fail at things from time to time- it's the ability to pick ourselves up that determines how often we win. Being knocked down is okay as long as we have the guts to get back up. If being knocked down causes us to get so down on ourselves that we quit trying- our success will be undermined until we grow enough to change that about ourselves.

    I'm going to tell you a secret way of stopping most people from picking on you. It'll take a month of use before it will kick in but I promise you will see a big difference with consistent use.

    Challenge the person with what I call "soft but blunt honesty". As long as you don't resist a person who is saying mean or cruel things- they are free to continue. It gives them a feeling of power so why would they quit? Ignoring people usually doesn't work for that reason.

    Remember that your goal isn't to have a confrontation or to get into a fight. You want to encourage the person to stop picking on you by making them uncomfortable, by making them look bad, by questioning their motives. It'll take a little time to get good at it but you're going to be amazed at how well it works!

    Let's say somebody calls you a fag and all the people in the group laugh. You're feeling awful because all these people are part of something where you're the butt of their joke. Instead of ignoring it, look the person right in the eye and say something like, "You must be awfully insecure to need to put me down to feel okay about yourself. I may be a fag but I don't go around putting people down the way you do. That's a major character flaw but you know what- I forgive you. But I do wish you'd stop.You're making these other people accomplices in your mean spiritedness."

    The key to this is you want to point out that the only reason they're picking on you is to cover up their own sense of inadequacy. It's pure weakness on their part. Don't bully them with this information but be blunt. Don't raise your voice. Smile and relax as you say it- be as matter of fact about it as you can be. A good quote to use is "it says a lot more about the person doing the gossip than it does about the person being gossiped about. Unfortunately what it says is they need to talk badly about others to cover up their own sense of inferiority. Hopefully as you get older and more mature, you'll outgrow that."

    If the person threatens to beat you up- be sure to tell them how much courage it takes to pick a fight they know they can win. It's likely you will get beat up from time to time using these techniques: accept that as the price you have to pay to get the target off your back. Remember, if somebody hits you, you simply call the police and make no attempt to hit them back. Be sure to tell the person you'll call the police if they hit you. Again, the issue isn't to threaten- it's to encourage them to treat you non-violently.

    I call this "soft but blunt honesty" because you're telling them the truth, you're being incredibly direct, but you're not being harsh or mean, you're not raising your voice, you're not cussing, you're not being intimidated, you're not acting out of fear or hurt- you're saying this is the way it is from where my point of view.

    This works because you're no longer an easy target, because people will respect your assertiveness, because you're turning the tables on the other person's attempt at being powerful. Good luck!

    Tim
     
    #13 Tim C, Nov 6, 2007
    Last edited: Nov 6, 2007