Lately I have been having these almost uncontrollable urges to come out to someone, just blurt it out, not even anyone in particular, just whoever is in the room at the time. I have so far managed to supress the urge but its getting harder and harder. My problem is that I want to come out in the right way, when it feels comfortable for me, and to the right person. I wouldnt dream of telling my parents or siblings anytime soon, but I dont have any close enough friends to talk to about it. I dont think anybody would react badly, I even have a couple of gay friends(I think...). I just feel that living with my family after telling them would be a bit awkward, even if it only lasted for a while I would prefer to avoid any uncomfortableness. I am fully comfortable with myself, (well, with my sexuality at least) so confusion isnt really a contributing factor. Although my self image does factor in a little bit; I dont feel, or look particularily attractive, which in itself isnt a big deal, but I do feel as though it factors into my decision. I would like to be able to come out soon, I dont want to deny myself the opportunity to experiment and develop whilst I'm still young, but I just dont know how. Any advice anyone has to give would be really helpful
Hi there, and welcome to EC! Enjoy your stay here! :smilewave Some thoughts: I think that the time has clearly come to come out. Moving from being uncomfortable about telling to actually having an urge to tell is a sure sign that you're ready. Becaus otherwise you might soon enough to discover that you're getting even more uncomfortable keeping this inside. Normally, gay friends would be the obvious candidates to first come out to. However, I must confess that I'm a bit puzzled about what you mean by "I have gay friends (I think...)" Do you know gay people but are unsure about whether they're close enough to come out to? Or do you have friends that you're not sure are gay? You say that you don't have any friends that you feel close enough to. That is unfortunate, but doesn't have to be a real problem when coming out to them. Even though I had no shortage of friends in highschool myself, I never really talked to them about emotions and sexuality. One of them did come out to us, but after that, we all accepted it and just carried on as usual, talking about games and school, rather than about how we felt. By the time I came out to them, I was already mostly comfortable with it, and in the end, I just went out and said it as if it were the most normal thing in the world (which it is, after all). And they took it well (if with a bit of surprise) and just carried on like before. They just occasionally make jokes about me staring at buys or ask about whether I have found a boyfriend yet. And I can say that just this fact of other people knowing and not minding was more important to me than having deep one-on-one conversations about it. So, if your friends are like that, it might just be the best to still blurt it out to the ones of them most likely to take it well. And then, there is of course the option of actually making more gay friends. Is there any GLBT group in your school? If so, you might check it out, and just be out to them (they will probably figure out you're gay if you show up to a meeting ) And obviously, there's us here. Just saying you're gay here also counts as getting it out a bit. So do hang around and see if it helps you! I hope this helps a bit?
Like Filip said, what do you mean by "I have some gay friends(I think...)"?? If you don't think your friends would react badly, then pick one, or a few, or all if you want, and tell them. Sometimes it's easier to just blurt it out. You definently sound ready, so go for it.
Hmm, you've given me a lot to think about, but I'm still not sure. I dont feel ready yet, but I think I probably am. Oh and incidentally, by "I have some gay friends(I think...)" I meant just this one friend who has told me she is gay, but I'm not sure if it was just in jest, and I have some other contradicting info relating to her sexuality. Anyway its not really important. But thanks for the advice, I'll have to think about it for a while but I fell like I'm getting ever closer to being ready to come out ot someone.
