just worried

Lemme tackle your second part first.

Your parents want you to go to school full-time...possibly in part because there's some sort of tax incentive for that. You'd prefer to go to night school and get a job. It's not made clear, but I'm assuming you're still living at home? If so, why not cut a deal with your folks? Once you get a job, you start paying them rent. Maybe not a lot, and maybe not as much as the tax break, but at least they'll get some extra money. Maybe you can sit down with them and explain to them what's going on. You don't have to go into detail. But just say "I really let things fall apart last year, and I may need a full year to rebuild my confidence and get back on my feet."

Back to your first problem. Yeah, it sounds like you're starting to detoxify. That's a good thing, although the symptoms suck. And yes, you need to eat. Although a Mars bar probably isn't an ideal meal if that's all you're having. Since you're not hungry in the standard sense of the term, don't worry about eating "meals". Set your phone to go off every two hours. And every two hours, eat something. Nothing huge. Just something. A carrot. Half an apple. A bit of cheese and crackers (or biscuits, or whatever they're called there). Your appetite should return in due course. And I'm not sure what's going on with the balance thing. It might be like stepping out into the sunshine after being in the dark for so long - your body might just be adjusting. If it hits, sit down. Lie down if you can. Breathe deep a few times until it passes. If it keeps up, a trip to the doctor wouldn't be out of line.

Lex

 

I know in at least one of your earlier threads, we discussed your problem solving skills. You said your main way of handling problems and stress was simply to avoid them until they either went away, or else somebody else took care of them. And I pointed out that you needed to work on dealing with your problems head-on, by actually dealing with them, rather than by waiting for them to go away.

Here's one such problem.

Perhaps that's the way your family operates now, but perhaps they operate in that way in response to your "problem solving". Since you've been responding to problems by simply ignoring them, they perhaps have given up trying to work through any sort of solution or compromise with you. I mean, my cat isn't much interested in compromising or working out solutions to problems, either. But if you approach a problem like an adult, and attempt to solve it like an adult, you force others to treat you like an adult.

And that's something you'll definitely have to do here. Because you're really going to have to sell your side of the story here. I'm not averse to you taking night classes and getting a job...so long as you take night classes and get a job. I'm concerned that signing up for night classes, and finding employment, might both prove to be "problematic". And, as said above, your MO for solving problems is to avoid them. Which would mean not bothering to sign up for classes, and simply not getting a job. At which point you'd have zero structure to your daily routine, and a ton of free time. Which is an extremely dangerous position to be in for somebody trying to kick the pot habit.

Lex

 

Hi Darkcheese,i am very sorry to say this,but i think you have an eating disorder because you said you are now underweight but your subconcience told you not to get chips because they are fattening.The whole thing you say about not being hungry and feeling full after tiny amounts are where i was 4 years ago,not nice,but as i did, you have admited you are worried and may have a problem.

From expirience i can say you must start to force yourself to eat a little more each day,you have to go slowly because your stomach has shrunk so much it cant handle large meals yet.Take note of your weight and if it keeps droping before you are eating much more try some complan etc because these drinks are designed to be nutrisius and build you strength up after sugery etc(virtualy a meal in a half pint drink).Of course you must gradually replace these with a healthy diet as your stomach stretches again.

Once i started eating more my energy levels grew and i lost all the headaches and balance problems which i now put down to malnutrision,stress and depression.Food to give you energy to sort out your other problems must be number one.

If you feel that stopping the weed is causing your appetite to be even worse,could you try cutting back more gradually(1 spliff a day rather than 3 etc) until you gradualy cut it out.Stress from stopping an addiction takes your mind off food and back to weed/alchahol etc.Being stressed wont help,chill out and try going out for food with friends,i found that while they ate a bag of chips,i would keep picking at mine and eat maybe half,and as long as i was eating while they were no one suspected a thing.Obviously i would be full after my half bag,but it was alot more than i would normaly of had if alone because i kept picking at mine to fit in and not draw attention to my not eating.

When you start getting some energy back you may find yourself wanting to make plans for the future,classes etc.When you get in a stuctured routine with classes,work and social time your parents will most likely see this and lay off thinking your growing up and making something of yourself.When you have a busy routine it should be alot easier to lay off the weed because it is a differant thing to be stoned at home /mates etc,with nothing to do,but try keeping you mind on job/classes while stoned is asking for trouble.


Good luck,but please dont ignore your eating problems as they will only get worse up to the point of you being in hospital after a colapse,fed via drip.