Worried & Scared

Don't worry. A good enough friend won't let it hurt their friendship too much. Sure the distance might make it a little difficult now and then to hang out but it seems like it is within walking distance so it will take a bit more effort to hang out. My best friend recently moved to the next town over from our home town and I just moved to a town on the other side of the home town doubling the distance inbetween. We are still best of friends and remain in contact. We hang out much less but we still do hang out. It just takes a bit more effort on your part and his. You make friends and they move away at the start of life. You can't always be near your friends but with technology today remaining in contact and keeping the friendship going is so much easier than it was even 10 years ago.

 

I think you're right to be concerned, but I do think the concern is a bit misplaced.

It's a standard thing in high school. All the seniors sign each other's yearbooks. (Um, they DO still do that, right?) And it's always something like "Friends forever!" But much of the time, once college kicks in, these relationships tend to fade a lot. It's not deliberate. It's simply a matter of location and convenience. You became friends because you were in the same building for eight hours a day, 200 days a year. Pretty easy to keep a friendship going under those circumstances. But then they move away, and it's all internet and phone contact. And, not surprisingly, people start developing friendships with other people nearby. Even if you work hard on maintaining those friendships, they often (at the very least) recede a bit.

So your friend is moving away. It happens. Wish him well, tell him you'll definitely try to keep seeing him. But your main concern shouldn't be "he's leaving" - it should be "now what?" In a sense, you put all your eggs into one basket (him), and now that basket is being taken away. Definitely work on keeping that friendship strong...but definitely work on building other ones. I know it's tough starting from square one, but it'll be a lot easier once you get started.

Lex

 

I have been in a similar situation.
When I finished primary school, and was moving off to high school, my best friend was going to a different high school. Now she only lived about 1km awya, and I could have walked to her house in minutes if I wanted to, but it still impacted our relationship a lot.
To start off with we would see each other almost every weekend, spending the night at each others places. Then it was every other weekend. Then every month, every couple of months and then only once a year.
Now I kept a decent relationship with her on a blogging site, but she had to go and do something stupid and get herself banned.
Now, the last time I saw her was on a bus, for 10 minutes, for the first time in 2 years.
It does get a little painful being out of contact with someone, whether they are near, or far away. It hurts, but then its just aches, stings a little, some slight numbness and before you know it you feel no pain whatsoever. It may seem hard maintaining a long distance (or in my case a very lazy short distance) friendship. And then you see what they have become. In my case she fell in with the wrong crowd. (Thats what you get for attending a notorious school) I believe these days she smokes, drinks and does the occasional drug. I am not sure because I have only heard it from her, and I'll be honest, she isnt the most trustable source sometimes. But it still hurts even to think that she is destroying herself like that.
And I miss out on lots of info. In the time I hadnt see her; her Dad had a heart attack, her Mum moved out of the house, she had started attending a program for troubled youths, or somthing like that, and she had dropped out of school.
But theres a good thing about this too. Whenever I saw her it would light up my day. It was all the more special hanging out now that the opportunities were fewer. In my case it is even better this way. She really wouldnt fit in with my current friends, so if we were in more constant contact it would be kinda awkward. And just recently, a friend of hers, and I guess a friend of mine, has enrolled in the same art class as me. This presents me with an oportunity to get back in touch. Of course I could just use one of the other blogging sites she is on to contact her, but I'm a Facebook-phobic.
Its the same with another friend of mine who lives in a different state. At first it was alright to see him ever few months, but just recently he moved even further away. And now that the drive to his place from mine is over 2 hours, we havnt had any contact since. But whenever I did see him it was WAY more special than seeing him at school every day. Its like taking a sauce, lets say a tomato pasta sauce, reducing it way, way down and concentrating the flavour. When you are done, you have less sauce, but much, much more flavour.
But another problem is that I dont have a best friend anymore, yes sure I have some good frineds, some aquaintances, and some people I hang out with at lunch. I made a new 'best' friend at high school. From day one we despised each other. We would have fights and argue. But somehow, we found some common ground. But really we are too similar to be very compatible. We have the same birthday, the same interests and we even both have aspergers syndrome. But he wasnt the most reliable friend ever, just someone to talk to really. But I then made a new friend, in whom I took delight annoying the crap out of. Evidentley he also has aspergers. (We were all in the same support unit) But neither of these friends were the sort to give emotional support, or to confide in my most personal secrets. But I still have friends, even if they are pretty crappy friends,(to tell you the truth I'm a pretty crappy friend too ) they are still friends.
But these are worst case scenarios. Your friend is moving practically down the road. You could take a gentle stroll to see him. And as long as you still attend the same school, you can make sure he stays on the straight and narrow.

Wow, my story is really depressing isnt it? Ah well, you live and you lose, such is life.

 

>>>We both DO plan on going to college together and sharing a dorm room to split the cost and I guess I'm just worrying about nothing

I don't want to say "ditch this plan". It still has a good chance of working out, but it's two (?) years in the future. Don't put your social life on hold saying "I'll have a friend then" - work on making more now.

Lex