So this was a weird weekend for me. I thought it was going to be fun and nice. But it was uncomfortable. This weekend my mom, sister, and me went to Sequoia National Park and stayed at a hotel from Saturday through today. I was looking forward to it. However throughout the time we were there my mom and sister started talking about things that made me really uncomfortable. The subject was homosexuality. They started talking about it because the song "i kissed a girl" by Katy Perry came up. They said that what gay people did was nasty and what not. Then they moved on how they disagreed on gay marriage and then how they shouldnt have children. I acted like i didnt care what they said, when inside i wanted to yell at them so bad. Honestly it kinda hurt me for them to say that. They dont know im gay what so ever. But the fact that they are being so narrowminded and ignorant pissed me off. We were barely driving over there and they had already made me feel bad and they didnt even know. That was only one time. Then they moved on to another subject. The next day that we were driving from the Hotel to Sequoia they saw 2 guys in a car. My sister said look there goes a couple and laughed. I guess that wasnt a big deal but she laughed like making fun of them and bothered me. Then while we were leaving the park my mom said something about me having kids and getting married. I told her that i didnt want that. both my mom and sister looked at me like I was crazy. Then my mom said yea right and didnt believe me. I told her i was serious. My sister asked me why and i said cuz i dont like kids. They knew i was lying from there because they both know i love kids and i always wanted some. But i kept telling them i didnt want my own. Then my sister said "what!? why? are you gay? please dont scare me!! do you like guys? or girls?" I asked her why i scared her and she said because she thought I would be gay. I didnt deny it but i kept trying to change the subject but she insisted on me answering. I wanted to tell her the truth, but i told her i was straight. i felt bad saying it. Then she said good, you scared me for a second. Now this made me feel bad too because they made it seem like it was bad. I was pretty serious the rest of the way to the hotel. i wasnt mad, but sad. Later when we arrived at the hotel my mom brought back the subject of me not wanting kids. I told her i was serious about it, but i know neither of them believe me. My sister asked if i had a girlfriend, i told her no. then she asked if i had ever kissed a girl, i said no, and if i had ever kissed i guy, i stared at her and she started laughing and said have you? and i said no. she kept bugging me if i was serious that i never kissed a girl. She made me feel like a total loser. She was embarressing me. Then she turned to my mom and moved her lips without me seeing. Then my mom told her she was crazy, she had asked if i was gay. That night i couldnt sleep. I was sad about what they had said all day. I ignored it and went to sleep. Today was ok and they didnt say anything about it, until we were almost home. My sister said that there were 3 things in the world she disapproved of. 1) abortion 2) prostitution and 3) Fags. nasty fags. This was the worst thing she had said all weekend. My mom said well i dont agree with gay marriage or adoption, but if they r gay bcuz they were born that way its ok. My sister said still its not right. I have had this very uncomfortable feeling that i dont wanna be around my family. She hurt me. I actually thought that they would be ok about it. But from what they said they made me feel sad. I dont know what to do. I was actually thinking of coming out to them soon, but now they made me take a step back. I feel like i dont belong here. I dont know if this belongs here but i just want to know what u guys think of this?
Hello, ---------- Post added 6th Sep 2010 at 11:58 PM ---------- Sorry my computer is acting funny. I don't think that is right at all what they are saying. Do you think your sister knows at all?
Wow man that sucks. I feel for you. I've been in many similar situations but not that bad. I bet they would change their perspective if you came out though. If they love you more than they hold on to those ridiculous archaic beliefs, they'll choose and adapt to you. And they'll probably feel real awful about it and embarrassed. I would also take what you said about your mom saying that it's ok if they are born that way as a good thing. She actually sounds like she will be accepting. Hope things improve from here on out. I bet they will. Don't let them get to you!
(*hug*) (*hug*) I'm sorry you had to go though that. It sounds like your mom would be accepting if you came out to her, so that's good. As for your sister, well often people are ignorant 'bout gays until someone around them comes out to them, then they learn that gay people aren't as bad as they thought. If it helps, I remember once(before I was out to my mom) my mom had told me straight to my face that I better not be gay. Later on I came out to her and she was fine with it, and now we talk 'bout it like any other subject. People sometimes say things that they don't mean.
I've been through similiar situations where my family members have constantly degraded homosexuality and talk about it with disgust and disrespect but since I have came out that has no longer been an issue. I think people are just naturally inclined to speak badly about something that they don't know about, especially if they don't know any gay people, and they don't take in regard anyone who they assumes sexual identity so they speak on how society expects them to which is typically narrow-minded, illogical, and rather pathetic. Anyhow, after I came out to my family my father said he felt horrible for the things he ever said about gay people when I was growing up and I could tell the sincerity in his apology. People say things they don't mean and speak even worse of things they don't know about. Don't let it discourage you.
^^ I agree. Give her a good seeing to, get the belt out if you have to. That ought to learn her some respect.
I hope you guys are right about her changing their perspectives. I was already feeling comfortable with being gay. Until they made me feel the opposite as for Revan and Bario.. I wish i could. but ill do that when i come out..lol
It sounds like they might know (or at least your sister). It sounds like a lot of conversation about gay-related topics for people who don't think they know anyone who is gay. I feel like they might know - or suspect - and are just bringing it up so they can get a reaction out of you. When my mom started to suspect, she made a rude comment randomly while she and I were talking. I was telling her about something going on at school that wasn't really favored by anyone, and she said "oh, well that's gay". And she had NEVER used such a phrase before. But that was when she suspected it and it's obvious she only said it to see what my reaction would be. But that's just my view on it. I could be wrong and they could have just been really rude for no reason.
