my dad keeps forcing the idea on me that i should go to college, i don't want to, i think i will just be a waste of year as i don't know what i want to study, so i don't see the point in getting irrelevant qualifications. i relented the other to just saying no to the idea and trying to say what i want. so now im going to college, and i dont want to, but i don't like confronting him, to be fair i hate confronting anybody. im still losing weight and i struggle to eat more than a packet of crisps a day. sometimes i don't eat because im not hungry, and other times is because i think the foods to fattening, im now nearly aproaching being a stone underweight. im now skinny, but i still feel fat, how do i change this mental image of my body, because i know if left unchecked will start to cause some serious problems. any advice? much aprieciated
I don't want to side with your father, necessarily, but I think he may have a point buried in there. Right now, I see you really at loose ends. Right now, you've got nothing going on. At all. You're thinking maybe you might take some night classes and/or get a job to make some money, but that's future. The present involves you having an absolute open schedule from waking up (whenever that is) to going to sleep (whenever that is). And considering where you're at, that's not ideal. It means you've got NOTHING to focus on but your current issues. Your body image problems, your pot problems, your social life problems, your not-in-school problems. And like most people, you're ending up like a car stuck in neutral revving hot. You're damaging your engine, and not actually making any progress. Your father seems insistent on getting you to school. And I think in part it's because it will give you something to focus on. All that time you spend going to class, studying, and interacting with other students is time you're not spending revving your mental engine. It will, to bandy about a phrase that parents love bandying about, "be good for you". Mind you, I don't think college is the sole solution here. Job and night classes will accomplish the same thing. But only if you actually do them. Not if you think about them, or plan on doing them someday. You'll have to actually go out, look for a job, apply for a job, get a job, and keep a job. So if you want to go this other route, you'll have to convince your father that you're ready to do it. Not soon. Not "once I get my head on straight" - NOW. As far as your eating disorder - as that's what it's looking like - you really do need to see a therapist about that now, I think. If you don't have one, your doctor can probably point you in the right direction. Lex
most people go to college not knowing what they're doing with it. and most people that did know what they were doing change their major to something completely different. what a college degree really does is tells employers that you have goals and you have the ability to think as you work and the drive to actually do your work when it's given and manage your time because they know that you've practiced THOSE skills while you were in college. as for the eating thing, what may help is to do research on what really is a healthy lifestyle (what to eat at what times for example). eat healthy foods, that way you wont feel like you're gaining weight. certain vegetables like celery actually take more energy to digest than they give you. also, work out, it will make you hungry. and if you build muscle you'll start to be more proud of your figure and you'll know you need to eat to maintain healthy muscles and a good body shape otherwise your body will eat your muscle instead of fat because if you don't eat, or cut out fat entirely, your body begins to store fat, slows your metabolism and eat muscle, because it's saving energy because it's been trained to think you may not get another meal soon. i got into the best shape of my life with a real 6 pack and i was eating 5 meals or more a day.
With some exceptions, many undergraduate college educations have little to do with preparing you for a specific career and much more to do with teaching you how to think, analyze, critique, and evaluate with a critical eye. These are invaluable skills to have regardless of what major you choose. Also, the average person changes majors something like 2 to 3 times during their undergrad career, so there's no reason to worry about not knowing exactly what you want. College is a great time to explore, try a bunch of different classes and subjects, and see what excites you. As for the eating disorder, that's going to be a bit of a challenge to do without some help from a therapist. One suggestion I might have is to spend at least 15 solid minutes standing naked in front of a full-length mirror. Doing it for 30 seconds is one thing, but doing it for 15 minutes, slowly touching each part of your body with your hand, will help you to reset in your brain the concept of what your body *actually* looks like, so you can see yourself as underweight and start working toward a healthier weight. I would also strongly recommend seeing a therapist for at least a few sessions. The eating issues could get serious pretty quickly without help.
well there is no backing out now i have an interview for college in a few hours, i still don't want to do it, but i geuss i should. and i tried looking in the mirror and to be honest i hate it. i just can't do it, i just get to many negative thoughts in my head, and i can't bare to stare anymore. i try, to be honest i would say i find myself to almost be repulsive!
Then I'd say you've got some body image problems. Not that everybody should find their image in the mirror a turn-on or anything - many people are unhappy with what they see there. But you shouldn't be repulsed by it. And that's something you're going to need to work on. Lex
I would say give college a chance..what else would you do in the meantime? also a college degree will get you much farther along the road compared to not having one...
i just don't kniow how to change myself image, i just can't seen to stand the sight of me anymore. earlier a friend tried to convince me im not ugly, and i just cant seem to take thier word for it. this not the first time i've had this isssue, i was in almost the exact same boat about 7 months ago. i just hate the way i look, i sometimes wish i had other peoples bodies, i even on occasion avoid showering so i don't have to look at myself. i just don't know how to get past this
You've already been told what to do about it. Get a therapist and share this with them. You need help to overcome this mental state that you've arrived at. We all have our hang ups, and some times they are severe enough that we need to get professional help to overcome them.
