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Grad student

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MagicalMatt, Sep 8, 2010.

  1. MagicalMatt

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    This is more or less a story and an open call for understanding on a situation.

    Basically there is this grad student in the music department for my university that I've known for about a year now. He's almost a full 7 years older than I am and just...just very out and proud. Feminine, yes, but not ridiculously so. Out and proud, YES, ridiculously so.

    I've never given him a 2nd look. In fact, we had never really spoken until say...oh last week. I added a music minor this semester and thus see him more often. We are in Opera and Opera Club together as well as choir. So yesterday in choir, he notices my haircut and with complete sincerity says that he "really likes my haircut". He tells me twice, and I thank him, completely surprised by his compliment. I leave choir trying to figure out what just happened.

    All day today (and last night during an opera club party) we exchange more words than usual and more glances than usual and are just generally more aware of each other.

    As a realistic person, I'm writing this off as, "Oh, I'm getting to know people in the music department finally. They're noticing me!"

    Until the facebook conversation in which he starts a conversation with no goal in mind and just talks. We've known each other for over a year and never just talked. We talk bout school and drinks and opera. He asks if I got a part in our October scenes concert because "He really hopes I did," and I tell him I'm Basilio in the Finale of Le Nozze Di Figaro. I say goodnight and go to sleep.

    Now, I'm left reeling.
    Is he meaning something more by this?
    He's a whole 7 years older, surely he's just getting to know a colleague.

    There was something else he said last night. We were all talking about men, and our friend shows us a pic of her boyfriends abs and he says to the group (twice to clarify), "I don't do skinnies. I like a guy with a fully, hairy chest."

    That...describes me. I wear v-necks that show off that bit of hairy chest near the neck on a regular basis. So it's something he would notice. And it felt like he may have been trying to let me hear it.

    Whether I'm making too much of it or not, he's definitely trying to get to know me for one reason or another.
     
  2. Zingerific

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    Are you attracted to him? It sounds like he's into you.

    I don't know if this will help, but... when I was a graduate student, I didn't feel any older than the undergrads (or look any older, for that matter :slight_smile:), but the age difference was in my mind. Maybe similar thinking is keeping him from just asking you out.
     
    #2 Zingerific, Sep 9, 2010
    Last edited: Sep 9, 2010
  3. MagicalMatt

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    I'm not UNATTRACTED to him but I've never thought of him that way.

    I'm also terrible at telling when someone is hitting on me.

    EDIT: Also he's talking to me again. Wtf?
     
  4. MagicalMatt

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    So...he asked me out. I said yes. Moving along.
     
  5. Jeremy

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    XD I really hope everything goes well for you two! You're a smart guy, and hopefully he is too. I just hope it all works out for the benefit of both of you. :grin:
     
  6. Lexington

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    I was all set to say "He's making the moves on you". But I guess you figured that out. :slight_smile: Have fun, don't jump ahead to something you're not ready for, play safe.

    Lex
     
  7. MagicalMatt

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    Thanks, Lex. Looks like this is test 2 to see if I've learned that lesson.
     
  8. Congrats man! Hope it goes well for you