Prior post: http://www.emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?t=38013 I did it! I told the first person. My sister!! I was planning on doing it, but wasn't set on when or where. Then today, we were returning to the city after a family function and found ourselves alone together in a car for 2 hours and I told her. While... I know I may not be the best example for anyone else.. as I waited so long. I got so much out of reading about other's coming out processes... I just thought I'd say something short about telling my first person. I have been talking about wanting to come out to someone for about three weeks now and decided to tell her first. Yesterday, just seemed like the right time -- then and there. I knew I wanted to have a good bit of time alone with her to do it and at that moment... I just had such an urge to tell her. Finally!! I was driving which... this may seem silly... but it made it a lot easier because I didn't have to look her in the eye when I told her and explained. She took it VERY very well. As well as I ever could have hoped. My sister is a crier... a big crier... so I had prepared myself for and expected a cry-fest... but as it turned out I was the only one crying in that car. Anyway, she said she has had suspicions ever since I lived with her and her husband for eight months (about a year ago). As I said in a previous post... she hinted about two months ago that "I could tell her anything" etc... so I thought she might know. She said she recently talked about me being gay with her husband and he thought I might be too but said that I'd probably wait until my grandparents die!! Which they are in their 70s... but pretty healthy -- and its not something I even considered so I got a bit of a laugh about that. Also, she was pretty comforting that I should be able to tell most of our extended family without too much trouble. I expect acceptance from most of them and those that... may have a problem with it... I expect them to just smile and keep it to themselves. Which is fine. Anyway, I told her that I did want to tell my parents but not until my grandmother from Ireland who is staying with them right now returns home in 6 weeks. She seemed to agreed and -claims- she can keep it to herself. (I hope she can...) But.. what I didn't expect was her reaction. She practically glowed the entire time!! She was so happy that I told her and told her first -- honoured even haha! She cries about everything else and I didn't even get a tear. It's sort of funny actually.. haha Anyway, I am VERY happy right now. I know I have a lot ahead of me, but everything seems a bit brighter right now. Anyway -- I had to tell someone and since only she knows, you guys are my sounding board =) Thanks for all the help and advice! Keep it coming!!
You must be proud (and excited) to have come out to your sister and have such a positive and warm reaction from her. I'm glad she took it so well and wish you all the best for future ____ (not sure what to call it, but for the next time you build up the courage to tell someone - wait, that didn't sound crude did it? I mean it in a positive way if it did!!)
Aww I remember the first person I told -- I believe it was my best friend in 5th grade. He was very supportive of it and said he had kind of wondered prior as well (lol), but to this day we're both still the best of friends. But I'm really happy for you, that you were able to tell someone and it went so well. Congrats. And I wish you all the luck in the world for future coming outs as well.
Congratulations (*hug*) That's great you told your sister, and that's awesome she is supportive. And I totaly understand that she feels honored you told her first. This is a huge proof that you love and trust her, and I'm sure she understands it this way. You can be very proud of yourself, and I am happy your first coming out went well. Good luck with telling other members of your family and let us know how things are going. Take care (*hug*) Cécile
Congratulations! I don’t know what it is about cars, but they do seem to be easy environments to come out in. I came out to my brother in a car as well. I guess that, as you say, it’s easy having something to do, and being sure that you’re alone and undisturbed. I’m not surprised that she was honoured. Being trusted enough to keep a very personal secret is a great feeling in and of itself, regardless of what the secret is. And she’s probably also happy for you that you’ve come to terms with it rather than keeping the struggle up. Enjoy the awesome feeling. It only gets better and easier from here!
Hey, congrats. The first family member I told was my sister, too. She's always been very supportive of me, and I of her, and she took the news just the way I had expected her to, incredibly well. Her only concerns were my happiness and safety. I haven't let anyone else in my family know, yet, but plan to in the near future. I already expect fallout from certain family members, but know that it's coming, and that I won't let it bother me. My way of thinking is that I've spent all of my life lying to myself and everyone else, including two wives, and no longer want to. I'm also too old to live the life that everyone else expects me to live (I've just turned 49). I wish continued happiness for you, and good luck with telling the rest of the people you love. Always remember the words of Dr. Suess: "Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." Ken
I am planning to come out to my parents tomorrow... finally. But the odd thing is... and I never ever thought I'd say this -- I think I am ready. A bit nervous -- but determined more than anything. I have written a letter, I have a PFLAG article for parents and a paper on Conservative vs Liberal interpretations of scripture. Wish me luck!
