I'm 18 years old. I'm a freshman in college. I'm studying English to later on become a writer. Everyone is jolly good with that plan and is totally and completely on board with it. The problem is, that is not what I really want. I went to college to become a writer because that was the most practical thing to do. I love writing so much but as I think about my future I can't imagine being a writer. There's only one thing I've ever really seen myself doing in the future. Everything else I've ever worked towards was practicality and not what I wanted. I want to be a performer, a recording artist. I know how ridiculous that is. I'm only okay at singing and I don't play any instruments. There isn't really anything else I want though. I could handle trying to make it as an artist and failing, its what is more likely and I'm prepared for it. What I couldn't handle is looking back in ten years and thinking "Why the fuck didn't I try?" The more and more I think about it, the more I realize that, although the music world is a difficult thing to jump into, I do have a lot more opportunities then most people. 1.Although I tell myself I'm only alright, I know that I could be great if I got the singing lessons and if I got the piano lessons as I plan to. 2.My key target demographic would probably be gay men. Club goers in general but I feel like it is obvious that gay men in the club scene are the kind of people that would like the music I want to produce. I live in New York City which has one of the biggest gay populations on the planet AND my father is on a first name basis with a majority of the gay club managers and owners in New York City. 3.Which was part of 2 as well but, I live in New York City. Where is there a better place to get a start? 4.Finally I know that this is not only what I want but also what I need. My plan is to first drop out of school because I have no use for it really. Then I need to get a job so I'll have money. Next I plan to get vocal lessons and piano lessons. Then once I feel established enough in my music I'm going to begin by trying to get in to open mics and such to perform and also I'm going to ask my dad if he can get me some auditions to perhaps perform in clubs which would be really awesome if he could and knowing my father, I think he could, who knows though. I may have to do open mics for awhile first but I'm prepared for that. Now my dilemma is my family. I don't think they'll support me. My mother will be pissed when I drop out of school and if I don't get a job (which is number one on my priority list) she will kick me out. My family is very practical and although I know they love me, I don't think they would believe that I could do it. I'm not sure if I can do it but I need people who love me telling me I am if I'm going to try this. How should I go about telling my mother that I want to drop out of school to attempt to become a recording artist? She won't understand how I only feel normally when I'm wearing an outfit that others may call 'outrageous', she won't understand how much I love to sing, and she won't understand how being on a stage singing in front of people is really the only time I feel alive. Thoughts, comments, suggestions?
My advice may not be necessarily what you want to hear, but since I highly value education for many reasons, this is it: Stay in school and get a job. Work on you piano and vocal training while you are in school. If you admit that you are not that great to begin with, then chances are you probably won't hit the ground running with a music career anyways. Then, after you finish college, you will have a college degree and additional training. You will have a degree and will then be free to pursue whatever career you want. However, if you really do not think you belong at a university to begin with, that is another issue. I would think about it and when you get an idea have a honest conversation with your parents.
I know tons of musicians, in all stages of their careers, with varying degrees of "success". (However you want to measure that last bit.) And it's surprising how few of them took much in the way of lessons. Not because they're all insanely talented, and immediately began rocking the guitar or singing like Norah Jones the second they took the stage. They just got instruments and pounded away at them until they honed their skills. They may have taken a couple lessons, or got a book out of the library, just to see if their hands were in the right places or whatever. But the rest of it was the music coming out. The desire to perform honing their skills. And honestly, I think this is probably the best way for you, as well. Not that I'm against music or voice lessons, but they often point the way towards technical perfection. That's great if you want to play Mozart, but less so if you just want to pour your heart out and touch an audience. So what would I recommend? Buy yourself a keyboard. Full-key size definitely, and 88-key if you can afford it. Get a set of full-ear headphones if you live with somebody. Then just start banging on the thing. If your school offers music lessons (many do), you might take a semester of piano just to get some of the basics down. And feel free to look online for some pointers, or grab a book from the library. But far more important is to play that keyboard, over and over again. Start scribbling your lyrics down, and start forming your songs. Should you drop out of college? I don't think so. Not in that "don't give up your day job" sort of way. But I honestly believe that most of what school has to offer happens between the lines. Most people I know came out of college a completely different (and better) person than they went in. And it wasn't because of calculus and history. Not only that, but there's perhaps no better coffeehouse/open-mic night place than college. Just as a side note. I don't know anybody currently "trying to make it" in New York, so can't tell you much about the scene there. But it can be surprising how various scenes go. I know a few rock bands who packed up and moved to Los Angeles to "make it". Which proved a horrible mistake. Not only was the cost of living much higher there, but the scene was a lot fiercer. There were so many bands competing for stage time that venues actually CHARGED the bands to play. The bands would have to pay the venue money to get booked, and hope that they'd make enough on merch sales to make it worth their while. Denver venues aren't exactly known for being overly generous to the talent, but they at least pay the bands. And I heard that (of all places) Orlando and Las Vegas were good places to get paid for bands just getting started. Not sure if that's still the case though. Again, I don't know what the New York scene is, and I certainly don't know the singer-songwriter, gay-focused scene is like. But I wouldn't rush to assume it's ideal in New York City. It may be that the area is crawling with open-mic fiends, and you can't get a foot in the door. But it may be that you can in...oh, Cleveland. No telling. Lex
First, thanks for the advice. I like the idea of the practicing the piano myself. My sister has a piano that she doesn't use actually so I wouldn't have to buy one. I think I'd still like to get the lessons though, even if its just a few so I can learn the basics. Yeah, actually I know a few people in bands and stuff around the city. Usually you have to pay to play for open mics and hopefully you get asked to preform in other venues. The reason I said New York was a great place to be wasn't because of the free opportunities I thought I would have but more so because I know lots of big record labels and important people in music live in New York so I guess I'm hoping that by performing in clubs maybe I'll meet some people in music who can help me later on. Although I'm sure that it is going to be extremely hard to get my foot in the door but I don't expect it to happen over night. On a side note. I'm not just dropping out because I want to try this. Its also because I feel totally and completely out of place there. It just feels all kinds of wrong. Besides I'm not writing off college indefinitely because I can always go back later on. I just really don't feel like I'm supposed to be there at this time in my life.
If I was in your shoes I would just change my major to vocal or music or something similar. That way you will be getting your lessons and also a college education. It is the best of both worlds. College and your music dream. Plus if you write your own songs you still get to be a writer. And as a wise willow tree once put it: Listen to your heart and you will understand.
If that's the case, then I'd say treat these things as two separate issues. One - you feel way out of place in college, you don't feel you're benefiting at all from it, and you feel you should drop out. Two - you'd like to get a job and focus on music. I do think your parents might be somewhat crushed by all this, but I also think that they'll eventually become supportive. Lex
i would not drop out of college..leaving college will turn into a slippery slope if you do..also..what do you mean you feel all kinds of wrong there? It is your first year away at school of course your going to feel different.. furthermore...at age 18..what else would you be doing? most people continue on to college at that age...if you drop out and wait to go later...i doubt you will end up going back to college later on.. college=more open doors in life no college=no chance at getting hired for anything even if you have more street smarts then the next person...they will always choose the person with the college degree over you.. stay in school and change your major if writing isnt for you anymore.. and the music idea is a fun idea...but bands struggle to make it big and only the most highly talented ones do make it ...you would be a dime a dozen if you tried to do so.. like others said...change your major...but work on music in your spare time..
Ya, Not only that if you did switch your major to music, you can still minor in literature right? listen my mom did the same thing (not for the same reasons) and she didn't go to college when she was are age. Now she is in her mid-thirties and she really wishes she would have gone when she was are age. I do not think it would be smart to drop out ry, why not just try to change your major. Or you could even minor in your music. just suggesting.
Oberlin, where I went, has launched the careers of an awful lot of musicians and performers. But even though it's a music conservatory as well as a liberal arts college, many of the people I know who launched their careers there were not conservatory students. They played guitar, piano, or soemthing else, sang, and performed. If you talk to any of those who did not take conservatory classes but nevertheless honed their careers while at oberlin, they'll tell you that the opportunity to perform on campus -- at coffeehouses, dorm parties, college events, and related activities -- is what honed their skills. It also helped them build a valuable network of people who had heard their music and created a built-in audience and demand for their music as they started their professional careers. Along the way, they also networked with a lot of people (students, teacher, parents), and got a fantastic education with a lot of depth to it. A few of them did other things for a little while after college while developing their post-college music careers, for which the college degrees helped, but many had performed enough that they were able to jump straight into careers. I worked in the music business for about 7 years as a manager, tour manager, and promoter and saw a lot, good and bad. I won't give you the lecture about the difficulties and the sleaze in the business... but if you're going to go that route, you really should get the degree first. It will serve you in a variety of ways, it will enhance, rather than delay, your career, and it will give you a lot of flexibility and opportunity you won't otherwise have.
I really wouldn't drop of college right now. Let the music be a thing on the side. I'd do anything to be able to go to college, but unfortunately I'm not very good with the books and I don't have the money. Really, you should stay in college.
Would you be open to the idea of transferring to another college? Maybe one with a stronger music program? Lex
I've thought about it and I think I might go to a school in the city next year, it would be too late for me to start there now. It has a better music program, the one at my school blows terribly.
Right before I go to bed I decide that I am definitely going to go to the school in Manhattan with a much better music program. Then I'm awoken by mom mom knocking asking what time my class in the morning is so I decide that's a great time to tell her. She blows up (I haven't told her about the whole music thing yet :/) but she freaked on the idea of me taking a year off. I didn't really go into enough detail with the situation earlier but I will now. I told my mom over a year ago that I wanted to take a year off before going to college (with the understanding that I would get a job) but she made me go to the college I'm at now and wouldn't let me go to the one in the city because she didn't think I would handle the commute well. All of this would have went over a lot better if my mom hadn't realized in the middle of her rant that I was stoned. My mother was under the impression I was the only one of her children who didn't smoke weed. So that was a big uh oh. Uh Oh actually being a song I wrote about smoking weed so you understand the pun I made there. So yeah that's my trouble now. She's angry and furious about it. Its kind of funny. I have always been the neglected one for sure, the one with the most problems perhaps, but I have never, never ever been the disappointment. I feel like such shit right now but you know what, I know I'm doing what I am supposed to be doing at this time.
1. Do take lessons. Musicians can cause damage to their bodies if they don't use proper technique. Further, for the time you put in you will get more out of it. 2. Talk to some people that are where you would like to be. If the path seems like your kind of thing go for it. 3. Parent(s): nothing quite says "I want this" like having a realistic plan and following through. See (2) for ideas. Reduced course load, practicing every day, some music theory classes (a little bit can go a long way whereas a lot can kill creativity), and gigs on weekends? From a hypothetical mom point of view three likely concerns: (i) that you view this as an easy out (ii) that you will lose focus and abandon your musical goals and academic goals leaving you with a bunch of nothing (iii) the starving artist. Granted, if your objective of being a writer was okay I do not see why the goal of being a musician should not be as well.
One of the most talented, creative, and rule-breaking musicians ever (he was named in the "50 who changed the face of guitar music"), Michael Hedges played everything from classical to rock and everything in between. He had a degree in 20th century composition from Peabody. An aspiring musician came up to him after a show and said he wanted to be a musician and thought school was pointless. Michael's response was "You need to know the rules before you can break them" and I think a lot of the reason his compositions were so amazing -- both technically and to listen to -- was because he had that understanding. I personally would not take a year off. Go to school and get in the groove. If you take the year off, you won't want to go back, I can already sorta get that vibe from what you're saying in your posts. I think most everyone's been giving you the same advice so... perhaps it would be a good idea to take it :")
Do not - I repeat - do not quit school. The degree you are seeking may not be your passion. That is ok. Finish the degree and work part time on your passion of music and the performaing arts. Once you get the degree regardless of the subject matter, this will tell your employer that you have enough stick-to-it guts to finish a project you started. In this case your education. Practice your keyboard, get vocal training, network with the gay mangers that your fathers know. See if you can intern with them. But definitely do not give up on your education.
