well i just started college around 2 weeks ago and its going well. Im a very shy person which surprised me on how fast i made some friends. Im in a little community which means i have the same people in most of my classes. I am 1 of 3 guys in the class, the rest of full of girls. Evryone would think its great that theres more girls, and very pretty at that, but i dont care. Anyways, there is this girl, lets call her N, that is in all of my classes that was in my high school, but never talked to each other. Now we started talking in the first day. She is really cool and funny. Well it turns out she is a lesbian. I had a hunch, but didnt care. She was pretty open, but still had trouble telling me and this other girl lets call her G. Ok say she told us she was gay. and i thought to myself that maybe i should tell her. N would be the first gay friend ever. for the past 2 weeks us 3 got really close. we have each other of every class and we even hang out after school. They think im funny and like me, as a friend of course. G was very accepting of N and even said she had a feeling. Now for the past week ive been wanting come out to them. I feel confident but when i want to tell them i feel like i cant. Like im choking on my words. I cant seem to get the courage to tell them. I feel like i want to tell them now because the more i wait the harder it will get. But as much as i try i cant let it out. I just need to know how i can try to build courage to tell them. Ive only told one person. I want to be more open about my sexuality with my friends, and any new ones i will get. thanks,
definitely tell her. N i mean. on her own, at first. and remember to say that you wouldnt have been able to do it without her coming out first. as for how to do it, if this was a few weeks ago, before i came out then i would say that its a hell of a lot easier with a LGBT. if you cant do it in person, try texting
It sounds like the perfect opportunity to come out. Once you do, you may find it really helpful that you can then talk to them about being gay. When i began coming out I found it great to finally have gay friends with whom I could talk freely. I suggest you swallow hard, take a deep breath and get those three little words out: "I am gay."
It's never going to be easy. And it's never going to just flow in a conversation. How did N bring it up? Do the same thing yourself. Or, what comes to mind is saying something like "Hey N, you know how you told G and I the other day that you were gay? Well you're not the only one that is. And it isn't G. It's me." Just make a joke of it. They aren't going to think less of you for telling them now vs. then. Go for it!!
I was about to tell them today. N said that she could tell if a guy is gay by the way they "switch", which is when they walk they move there butt cheeks up and down. I asked how it was and she explained, then i tried doing it and she said "yes exactly like that, if you were gay i would be able to tell, but your not." and i was about to tell her that i actually am. She told me that twice, and both times I failed at telling them. I had the perfect set up for me to come out, but i didnt. I just felt like i couldnt. Then they were talking that if G's bf went to the school we wouldnt hang out with each unless N and me had our own "lady friends". again i was gonna tell her that i didnt want a lady friend, but i couldnt. Then i told them i had something to tell them and they both wanted to know, but then we got distracted and didnt even had the chance to say "Im.." I want to and need to come out. I dont feel good hanging around them and with this secret. Im pretty much myself with them, the only thing is that they dont know i like guys instead of girls. Sometimes when we r walking G says oh that guys is cute and i wanna agree but i dont. Then N says oh that girl is hot huh Dan, and im like uh yea. I hate when i do pretend i like boobs and what not. Hopefully i will get the courage to tell them both by the end of the week, i feel that once i tell N, i can easily tell G.
If doing it in person feels too awkward, then send them a quick note. Don't delay - just tell them. "Hey - you know when you said you could tell that I wasn't gay - well you need to work on your gaydar. I had the 'swish' down pat because I AM gay. Fooled you! I just didn't have the guts to tell you in person - so here I am doing it this way. Hope you're cool with it."
I swalloed the feeling and told N!!!! here it is.. http://emptyclosets.com/forum/showthread.php?p=750020#post750020
