All of my family members, both intermediate and extended, are devout mormons. I don't know how to tell them I'm lesbian and that all the guys I've pretended to be interested in or have been with were lies. They all show prejudace against any gay/lesbian rights or activities at all, and I'm stuck with them until I can figure out how to move out. But I'm really interested in this girl and I know she's into me too, and I want to be with her but I wouldn't be able to without them finding out. How do I tell them?
It's tricky but it can be done. First, be open and honest with them. Don't hold things back, but equally as important, you should make a point that you aren't attacking their beliefs. Refer them to PFLAG or other organizations. Bring literature with you to "the talk". I suggest even getting a copy of "For the Bible Tells Me So". It doesn't directly deal with the LDS church, but it documents several religious families who had to deal with a child coming out. It's a very powerful movie. One of the best lines you can use is: "All I was thinking about was what my daughter was doing in bed. I wasn't thinking about all the other things that make her a wonderful person, or how much she and her partner care about each other." (Loosely paraphrased) It might take time, but they will probably come around in time. Unless you are absolutely certain that they will disown you/kick you out, I wouldn't worry too much about their reaction. Don't come out to them until you're ready, but don't be so afraid that it controls your life, either. Most families, even Mormons, will come around in their own time and on their own terms.
I'm LDS. I haven't really "come out" to people because I don't consider myself gay at this point in time. (I guess I'm still waiting for something to change and help me stop the same gender attraction, and even if I never change I guess I don't think it's really anyone else's business who I'm attracted to as long as I don't act on it.) I don't know what the best way of telling your family but I would tread with caution. I think some people have expectations for their children and can become angry when those expectations are not able to be met because of something like orientation.
Anger is part of the acceptance process Denial-Anger-Bargaining-Grief-Acceptance. So for many people, their parents may indeed get angry, or try to deny it, or play all sorts of games. But at the end of the day, nearly all parents, forced to choose between their children and their faith, will choose their children, and will either find a way to reconcile their faith with the reality that their child is gay, or will shift their faith to a different congregation or group that is more accepting if required. As far as "not acting on it"... that's not a very realistic solution if one wants to be happy. Neither is stopping same-gender attraction, as it's pretty much accepted that it's hard wired and not possible to change it. I can understand taking time to come to understand and accept oneself, but at a certain point, I think you'll see that you need to accept yourself and be true to yourself... and when you do, there's a whole cloud that lifts. It's a powerful experience that I don't tihnk most people can really understand until they've been through it.
erm... i wrote a letter to my parents (christian) and the coming out went very well. but first of all i sugest voicing your opinions on gay rights, and, avery good one, i find, is to enquire about god's views on homosexuality. it does not matter if you know or not (i assume you do), but just ask them, and try to get into a deep discussion about it. reason with them, voice your opinions, and work on their ignorance.
