I keep posting threads but i just have had many questions about different stuff... anyways, yesterday was a bad day for me. I believe i have depression. I diagnosed myself a year ago. But ive had this feeling since middle school. Now im in college and its still here. When i started everything was great i came out to people i felt happy and didnt care im gay. I thought I was finally over with depression since i hadnt felt it in over a month. But today it came back. I have felt like shit all day. I have been sad and just started crying. I hate this. I want it to go away. I had a feeling of happiness and now its gone. Im sad because i feel lonely, stupid, and ugly. College started out good but now i feel stupid in classes. I seriously dont get anything. I read questions like 4 times and i still dont get stuff. im doing an essay that turned out to be a piece of crap. I dont understand when the teachers teach. Being gay does not help this. ts been a while since i have had suicide thoughts and they are back too. I just wanna end this. No more college, no more worries, everything. Im too chicken to kill myself, and im glad i am that way or else I wouldve been gone a long time ago. I cant sleep because im sad. Everything is turning around and i hate it. I dont know what else to do to make it go away. I dont want to tell my mom or anyone how i feel because they are probably going to think its a phase. I dont look forward to anything anymore. I dont want to wake up anymore. I havent done the things i enjoy in a while, like playing video games, watching Tv, and playing with my dog. When i think of waking up tomorrow i get frustrated. has anyone been in this situation, how have you guys made it go away. i dont wanna do anything stupid. :icon_sad:
I am sorry you feel this way (*hug*). It definitly seems that you're depressed, and unfortunatly it's probably not something that is magically going to go away on it's own. The best thing to do would probably be to take an appointment with a counselor. There is probably one at your college. Go an tell them what's going on. These people are here to help. Another thing you can do is to take an appointment with your doctor. Depression can be cause by chemical imbalance, maybe they'd like to check if everything is ok on that side. They also may give you some medication that could help you going through this by alleviating your symptoms. On the side of this, let people know you're not doing well, your friends, your family, even your teachers. You can certainly use some support right now. Maybe you can check if there is an LGBT association or a GSA at your college. Those kind of associations often have support groups. Attending one may be a good idea and may help you feeling more at ease with your sexuality. Be careful not to let you sink in this kind of state where time doesn't matter anymore and when you can spend the day doing nothing. It's often what happens when someone is depressed, and it's just making things worse. Try to keep going to bed early enough, to wake up in the morning, to attend your lectures at college, to eat properly, even to have some kind of physical activity if possible (in fact it would even be great, doing sport makes your body to produce endorphins wich can help your mood to lift). It would be easier to get yourself out of it if you keep your life as normal as possible. If you want to talk about it, or anything else, you're always welcome to PM me anytime. Take care of yourself and hold on (*hug*) Cécile
Its no wonder 80% of the population has depression, look at what is going on around us. The economy is in the toilet, there is a war going on, and the world is supposed to end in less than 2 years, and that’s just the world stuff. Now pile on a shit ton of new responsibility, tough classes, the fact that your different then 70% of the population. I remember college and I think you’d be crazy not to be a little down. Now for a little dose of realism: life is tough, but it does get better. College is hard, if it was easy everyone would do it; but, it’s also totally worth it. You should talk to a school counselor about feeling so overwhelmed. Maybe you can take few classes or even some easy course out with the hard. You have option (and although I wouldn’t recommend it, dropping out is one.) Take a moment. Breath. You can get through this!
Thanks to both of you. Today i feel better and i havent been sad. Ive actually been happy since my new phone arrived and i bought an ipod shuffle. And i just want to feel happy like i am now. Ill take both of your advice. However I wont drop out. As much as i want to, i wont. This site always makes me feel even better.
