My coworker will not stop making gay jokes that are hurtful and uses the word fagot so much its unbelievable. Whenever I try to get him to stop he says "why do you care? Your making it seem like your a fag yourself." (They don't know I'm gay at work). I keep wanting to scream "YEA I AM AND YOUR AN ASS HOLE" but I'm NEVER gonna tell them. I feel like I'm being run out of my job. I told him the other day that my best friend was gay and of course he called me a fag and laughed. I don't even have a gay friend yet (unfortunately). I just want him to stop.
where do you work at? and does everyone share this guys same views? at every job there is a language etiquette...usually people watch there language while on the job... talk to you your supervisor and hopefully they will tell this guy to tone it down... he sounds like a real piece of work to me...
I am an assistant P.E. teacher at an elementary school. He is the actual teacher! I don't understand how someone that has been working with small children for 35 years can be so intolerant. In the small P.E. office there is a total of four of us. (2 assistants and 2 teachers). I don't plan on doing this for the rest of my life, just until I find a career. The other assistant and teacher find everything he says about fagots to be sooooooo fuckin funny. I'm the only one that hates it.
I am sorry you have to go through this. It is disappointing that in this day, teachers would still be making comments like this. My first suggestion would be to come out to him and tell him to stop. Since you are not comfortable doing that, here are a few suggestions. 1. You could say to him that research shows that those who make the most homophobic comments are actually trying to hide the fact that they are gay themselves. Follow up by asking him if there is something he would like to say to everyone. 2. You could simply say to him that you are offended by his comments, they are inappropriate and he needs to stop. When he asks why you care, tell him you care because it is simply wrong. If he persists, speak with the school principal. 3. If you are uncomfortable confronting him, go speak with your principal.
You do have gay friends - us. So next time he starts leaning in, lean back. "Jesus Christ, you talk about fags so much, I'm starting to think there's something underneath that. Should I call my gay friend and set you two up?" And if I were in your position, each time he made another comment, I'd revisit that same ground. "More faggot talk. I gotta tell Bob - he hasn't had a date in some time, and it sounds like you're getting pretty desperate yourself." This might be outside your comfort zone, but I'm pretty sure I could pull it off, and just to avoid the "gay" tag, I bet he'd avoid going in that direction pretty quickly. Lex
well, the problem is that they have no incentive to stop because you aren't out so they don't "get" how offensive it is to you. Or they may suspect you're a poofter and are saying things to get you to admit it -- a lot of people are a lot more obvious than they realize. You might look into what the rules are for your school system with regard to tolerance of anti-gay remarks. IN California there is state law prohibiting any derogatory or hate speech against gays in schools, and strong penalties for schools that don't comply. Many other states, or local school systems, have adopted similar policies. If yours has, you can talk to your principal, or anti-harrassment advocate at the school system's central office. But you'd likely have to come out; if you don't it will be pretty transparent what's going on if you start complaining.
