Hey everybody, I just posted my first thread recently and was pleasantly amazed as to how supportive everybody here is. It's for that reason that I decided to post again. You all are great I do have a bit of an issue that I could use some advice on as to what I should do or how I should go about doing it. I've told a handful of people about my sexual confusion, and one of them is a guy who we'll call "Vince." Vince has been an alright and nice guy from the day I met him a little over a year ago. He's several years my elder, but that doesn't matter much in my eyes. Then there is this girl who we'll call "Jessica." She does not know about my situation. Jessica has been a very nice lady since the day we met several years ago. She is only a year or two younger than I. By societal norms, they are both very good looking. Vince has "been around" quite a bit whereas Jessica is still innocent. Both are easy to get along with and can hold interesting conversation. I suppose the thing I need advice on is whether or not I should talk to them both at the same time, try to date one and drop the other from that spectrum altogether, tell Jessica about the issues I'm having with sexuality/ keep her in the dark about it, or what... Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you as always, Tom
Honestly, I wouldn't date either one. Not that there's anything wrong with them, but I just don't get any sense from your post that you really feel all that much for either one. Sure, if you really WANT to date either of them, or if one of them asked you out, sure - go for it. But right now, I get more of a sense of "I feel like I should be dating somebody, and here are two supposedly-attractive and apparently pleasant people, so why not date one or both?" Instead, why not work on developing the friendships more? Spend more one-on-one time with them doing "friend activities", and see where it takes you. Lex
get to know jessica, then choose. i'd sugest the guy, becuase i know from friends experience (the bi ones) that dating straight people can be very hard. but its your choice i guess
Sure...what the hell. Nothing wrong with dating. If it moves to sex, make sure you're open with them both so they know you're not exclusive. If its not about sex, there's no problem casually dating and getting to know them. Whoever says otherwise is a prude. Oh...and keep your sexuality to yourself when it comes to Jessica...women wont respond very positively to that. Last thing a woman wants is to be dumped for another guy.
Lex - As always, you seem to understand quite well. Thank you for your insight and input. Ms. Peaceandlilies - Your response does make a fair amount of sense. Mr. Ryanssuperman - I like your perspective on this whole deal. I have, in the fairly recent past, told a couple of my ex-girlfriends (that I still had a good friendly relationship with) about my questioning of my sexuality. And the first thing that one of them asked (somewhat jokingly, but subtly serious) was, "So you only went out with me because you think I look act like a man?" It was kind of humorous in the small fact that she was a rather stereotypical tomboy farm-girl.
