Awkward First Date

I'd say both parties are normally very nervous on their first date so it could easily make conversation awkward, nothing to worry about I should think.

 

They can be.

Sometimes, you immediately (or eventually) find a commonality that you can tap into. Suddenly, you find yourself animatedly discussing Morrissey b-sides, or arguing over which Olympics was the greatest, or working out how you think the next Harry Potter book should go.

And it doesn't have to be a topic per se. My partner and I mainly share an offbeat, humorous way of looking at the world. For instance, we walked into a store once and saw this near the entrance.



I picked one up, showed it to him, and said "Look - God's now in liquid concentrate." I'm not even sure most of my friend would know what the heck I was talking about. But my partner immediately laughed and made another joke along the same lines. Just one of the ways we click.

It sounds like you never really found that commonality. That's fine - it doesn't always happen. If you liked him, and you enjoyed his company despite the awkwardness, feel free to arrange another date. But make it an "activity date". The problem with movie dates is that you're in the dark not interacting at all. But if you pick a date with an activity involved - shopping, sightseeing, video games, physical activities* - it gives you something to focus on besides forced conversation. You can talk about the stuff you're doing, the things you're seeing, or any anecdotes that come to mind ("I went sightseeing in London when I was ten, and when we got to Parliament..."). It helps take some pressure off, and lets you enjoy the date more.

Lex

* - in the US, we have things like batting cages, bowling alleys, and miniature golf ranges. Not sure what the UK holds.

 

Hi

I really enjoyed Lexington's post - I completely agree. Here's what 2.5 cents on what's going on...

In my experience, it's pretty normal for the first date to be a little awkward. Depending on how you both met, you may know a little about each other already. If this is someone you're in class with, then you have common ground from that experience. If you met at a club, then you have something in common from that. The first date is the hardest for me, because it feels like I'm stepping on eggshells. I'm not sure why, but I feel like if I'm going to say something, I want it to leave an impression. I don't want to just "fill the dead air" - I want to blast it out of the park. If you hit those "dead air" moments, then try to find a conversation starter that is pretty general and relates to common ground. This way either of you can guide the subject wherever, becuase the conversation is somewhat open-ended.

Also, try to keep an ear out for pop culture news. People spent a good week talking about Lady Gaga's meat dress from the awards show. People love talking about that kind of stuff, and I'm sure just about everyone knew about it before long.

Dinner and a movie is cute, but I'm not sure it does much for the couple. Dinner is fine generally... Movies tend to cause that awkward scenario though. Think about it: You can't talk in movies, it's dark, and you're letting the stars do all the talking. You haven't learned anything about your partner. So yes, movies are cute and all, but I would keep that idea up my sleeve until a couple of dates pass.

I hope this helps a little (*hug*)

 

They do tend to be. Even if you know each other very well, if it is the first time oyu are going out as a "couple" then it is bound to be a bit awkward.

 

its natural to nervious on a first date, you want the other person to like you so you try and act in a way they would like, but honestly it not a great way to go about things. You're not going to change youself for someone (and, you shouldn't...unless you're an asshole). Be yourself and know that if it doesn't work out that there are more people out there who will like you for who you are.