Umm.... I feel a little bad about this. I really have never been plastered in my life, but I felt like getting plastered last night. Let's say a lot of throwing up was involved. The thing is the guy I went out with already has a boyfriend, but from what he has told me he isn't exactly happy in the relationship. Anyway, I had 6 vodkas last nite with diet coke. He came back to my apartment and we messed around a lot. I feel bad for doing this. He has a boyfriend. I told my cousin this morning and she said he should feel bad, but I would be pissed if someone did this to me. I really do not think me drinking had much to do with me messing around with him. I wanted to do it. One thing he said that hurt my feelings was he told me I am just average looking and kind of dorky. I am no supermodel, but I don't think I am average looking either. He sort of bruised my ego. http://i148.photobucket.com/albums/s14/kx1979/030.jpg
You are very handsome. It sounds like this guy was using you. It doesn't do any good to dwell on it now that it's over. We all make mistakes. Live and learn.
You are goodlooking but for some people you might not Anyways, what matters is who you are not how you look. I know the look matters but you already look good and you don't have to worry about it. I'm turned on by variety of things. Sometimes just a smile, eyes, etc. And I don't think the guy is a good person. I agree with Becky that he might be using you. Good luck:icon_wink
Now, if you had been one of those nerdy people with thick rimmed glasses, buck teeth and a shirt pocket full of pens like in the Far Side cartoons I would be able to understand his comment, but you look like a very nice, smiley person to me. Maybe he has his own issues if he has to say mean and unkind things like that. Even were it true and from your photo it's not, what would be the point of saying such a nasty hurtful thing? You say that the drink didn't make you do what you did, you wanted to. Of course you wanted to but the drink blurred the edges of your own morality which in the broad light of day is pricking your conscience. Let's put this into perspective, YOU didn't force this guy to fool around with you, YOU haven't cheeted on anyone in a long term exclusive relationship. Don't feel bad, don't beat yourself up, these things happen, as Becky said, put it behind you, chalk it up to experience and get on with your life (preferably without this guy!). Your comment, 'I would be pissed if someone did this to me'. That's all very well in a 'do as you would be done by' morality (which is mine by the way) but you are allowed to make mistakes and poor judgments. You are a human being with all the frailties and faults that go with it. Don't be too hard on yourself but learn by this and if this sort of behaviour is unacceptable to YOU try not to do it again, that's about all you can do. (*hug*)
Sounds like you had a good time - at the time. Take it for what it was worth, and move on. And what's wrong with nerdy people with a pocket full of pens, anyway!?!? (says the nerdy accountant!) :roflmao:
that guy is shitty he just wanted to use you and thats it and on top of that he was cheating on his boyfriend. I say forget about him.
You know what I screwed up big time with this guy. I have to realize I also played a part in this as well. You know the first night we met we kind of cuddled and I didn't think much of it. The second time we WENT WAY TOO FAR. I am sure drinking didn't help the situation, but I need to be responsible here. There is another party involved in thie situation its called his boyfriend. As we talked more he said he and his boyfriend never really sleep together, they have issues etc etc. Who know what is true and what is not true. I have to think about this in the big picture. If his boyfriend knew what happened he would be very hurt. Relationships our about trust. Gay or straight. I am not making excuses for myself, but there is a part of me that is lonely and wants a relationship. But I do not want to be in with someone who is taken. When I emailed him today and told him I think we messed up. He said do not worry. Then he said he was crying because he was worried I would never talk to him again. He said it was meant to be. The truth was it was not meant to be. I think I was also manipulated some to. He said he wanted to buy me a dvd for my birthday and he was already giving me gifts. I can forgive myself for this and move on. The best way of doing this is being done with the guy. I put myself on match and I said the most important thing is HONESTY in a relationship. It is. Screwing around with people who have boyfriends is not honest. The guy is a LOSER. And I was not smart to get involved with him. Lesson learned. Now time to MOVE ON.
Average Looking, Average Looking ?! I thought you were hot in your pic, I think that guy has bad taste, forget him, and move on to someone who can actually appreciate you.
Im sorry taht he hurts your feeling, i understan dthat you feel bad when he hurts you, but dont feel bad if you messed around with him, it was him who messed around with you too He used you, then turn your back on you by making negative comments to you, what a b*tch! He should feel bad and you should forget him, he dont deserve you anyway!
Good for you, turn the page, learn from the experience and move on. You are obviously a very lovely, considerate person. You will find someone who appreciates you. It is normal to feel lonely sometimes and be tempted to fill the void with an unacceptable person or relationship but this is not the answer and you know it deep within you. This will give you the strength to wait and find someone who deserves you and all the love you can give them (even if you do make a few poor judgments on the way).
yup, gud. u shouldnt mess with him. what if ur in his bfs position? u picked the ryt decision to end this relationship.
i think he said that as a way to "justify" what happened. like, if he tells his boyfriend what happened, he can be all "yah well, yer a lot hotter than he is!" "i felt like slumming!" i don't think yer average though. yer cute. don't listen to that asshole
ok you are not ugly...like seriously you have a very sweet smile....I feel that anyone and everyone can hav supermodel looks if they actually tried, i mean have you seen kate moss without makeup? seriously scary sight...left scarred and disillusioned....but umm yea ive learned that confidance is the key to sex appeal.....so yea it works for me anyways....and dont feel bad about getting wasted and doing crazy shit....i got wasted once..well the only time ive gotten wasted..and well it ended up that i got a lot of action that night male and female, not to mention that a few of them wanted more (straight boys i mean) you havent lived until u see the look on a straight boys face when they realize what they're doing with another boy haha. well yea dont feel bad..hes jus a prick the guy probably has small "equipnent" since his ego's so big.... Abercrombieboi
Boy, sometimes you learn the hard way. I told him I want nothing to do with and here is what he sends me. I don't know why I am posting this. I guess I am hurt. Its a little confusing because we are both Justins. Sometimes in life you need to get hurt to learn Hers is what he sent me: That is fine...I realize people are not as nice as they seem, My Aunt must have been wrong when she saw the good in you...Believe me I would not conceder email you anymore, I only want to spend my time with people who are nice and genuine, which you are not...I have talked to my friends about this situation, and they warn me that you were TOXIC, I guess they were right....Good luck with your Karma..And your so called life Be well Justin -----Original Message----- From: katmando To: Justin Sent: Fri, 5 Oct 2007 6:05 pm Subject: Re: confusion My email Justin: I am sorry I gave you mixed messages. I really not feel like explaining myself. Please no not email or call anymore Justin And another email from him. Remember this is a guy who has emailed 40 plus times has boyfriend and was calling endlessley. just meeting me 2 times. I just wanted to forward what my friends, my real friends think of your situation.... Im not being vindictive, just concerned, that you may harm yourself or G-d forbid someone else, you have already threatened your poor mother... Seek help..Be well **I will Not be in touch here after, per your request and my friends J -----Original Message----- From: Adam To: Justin Sent: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 1:33 pm Subject: Re: I hope your OK Justin, This is beyond your realm of responsibility, know that right now! It makes me very sorry we teased you so much, but you need out of this scenario, so start backing away slowly. You're the type to be very considerate of others, and probably type/text back to people with a lot of responses. I'd limit all contact to this guy starting now. If you feel obliged to conclude this episode, suggest that he should in fact seek help very cordially, or at the very least tell him that you are not trained/equipped to help him. The way I see it, you also have a professional responsibility that overshadows this guy now, and I'd hate to see you caught in a tough spot between your oath and your heart. Your friend, Adam On Oct 2, 2007, at 11:27 AM, Justin wrote: Adam.. This is the justin that I was trying to help, I told you he has issues and problems, thats why I didnt take the "DNA" seriously, he has been hospitalized before, my nature is to HELP PEOPLE, but I feel I cannot.......Just wanted you advice **thoughts** Love me -----Original Message----- From: katmando To: Justin Sent: Tue, 2 Oct 2007 11:13 am Subject: Re: I hope your OK Justin: I just a need a little break. I am not doing so well. Okay?? I have no clue if I will be able to go to dinner. Never said you were a mind reader, but I told you I have a lot of mine. Now I am making it CLEAR. I HAVE A TON ON MY MIND. THAT HAS LITTLE TO WITH YOU. MY OWN ISSUES. I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO HAVE A PANIC ATTACK. I AM THINKING OF BEING HOSPITALIZED. PLEASE GIVE ME A BREAK. OKAY Justin
He's not being very sensitive. Just leave it alone. Neither he nor his friends really know you - so they have no right to judge you as they appear to be doing. Just try to move on - the next time will be better. (Could it be much worse?)
I have removed the email addresses above and replaced them with "katmando" for yours, "Justin" for his and "Adam" for the friend. It is NOT a good idea to post any email addresses in the forum, especially those of other people who do not know you are doing so and who could be embarrassed or annoyed if they fond it here. Also rule 18 on the CofC says "Please do not post your full real name, your physical or email address, or your phone number in the open forum."
Okay, sorry about that. I sort of realized right after I posted. Thanks for changing that. Its not fair to the parties involved(including me) As soon as I got the email I was sort of upset and posted right away without really thinking. Thanks Justin
