Ok, so i wrote out this letter the other night so i can give to my crush at the end of the year. i'm a senior and he's a junior and i just needed to let him know how i really feel. so if u have any suggestions or revisions please post them. Ben, You don't know how hard this letter is to write. I've had a bit of a crush on you for a while now, since about Bye Bye Birdie last year. This sounds corny and cheezy and I don't even know why exactly i'm telling you this now. My friends have advisd against me teeling you this because they have both our best interests in mind, but I don't wanna go on like this anymore. I don't want to ruin our friendship. I know this is going to be awkward for you, once you read this, because you can't reciprocate what i feel. But I don't want this chance to tell you how i feel to turn into a regret, another "what if", that I have to live with the rest of my life. I just need you to know that I really like you and i'm sorry for that. Its also the reason I act so strange around you sometime, like in sensations. I know what you do is to be funny and sarcastic so please don't think I'm stupid by reading anymore into your actions then what they are. So now that I've told you how i feel, it's your decision what to do with this info. You can go tell your friends and have a laugh or you can keep it to yourself. I don't care anymore. I will respect whatever you decide even if thats ending our friendship. I do understand, this letter sounds pretty creepy as it is. All that i ask is that whatever you do decide to do, at least give me some definite reply to this letter even if it's our last. Again I'm sorry, Bryan So...any thoughts?:icon_bigg
I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll just jump in head first and see what happens. * What is the purpose of this letter? If I'm to believe the words, it's "I have feelings for you, and I don't care if this makes you uncomfortable, because my feelings are more important". I'm assuming that's not the case, and even if it were, that's not really the point you want to get across. * You spend most of the letter in full-on victim mode. To sum up, "I'm at the mercy of my emotions, and now that I've spilled it out to you, you're going to hate me and your friends will mock me". How is he SUPPOSED to react to that? Either he IS going to be weirded out (and who can blame him), or if he isn't, he's going to be responding out of pity rather than any genuine concern. * Think about this a lot more. I won't say "don't write a letter", but I'll definitely say "don't send him THIS letter". Imagine some generic guy you don't know all that well, and say you got a "I kinda have feelings for you" letter from him. Picture how it might be worded so that it would make you feel positive, even if you don't have feelings for him. Here's my advice. Start over. Blank piece of paper. Take some notes. Write out why you're writing the letter, and what you hope will result from it (both whether he says he's gay/interested or not). Leave the drama with the llama. Then, take the notes, and rewrite your letter. Think about what I said above, about how YOU would want such a letter to read. You want to sound pleasant, friendly, hopeful but realistic. You more or less missed all four the first time around. Lex
One thing I noticed...you keep apologizing about your feelings as though they are a bad thing. I don't know about your crush, but if someone wrote me a letter saying they liked me, I would probably be flattered and think that it's not something to be sorry about at all. Also, certain things that you say: "I don't care anymore"; "this letter sounds pretty creepy as it is"; etc, are instantly putting the letter in a negative mindset, which is more likely to prompt a negative reaction than if you kept it neutral and honest. I've never written a letter like that before so it's not my place to tell you how to write it. I think bear in mind the points that Lex made - he seems to have done a pretty good job in advising you.
Hey Bryan, I've written a few of these myself, but never sent them. I agree wholeheartedly with Lex. You show a lot of sincerity in what you have written, which is great. However, Ben sounds like a positive friendship in your life, not a dumping ground for emotional turmoil. Be honest about how you feel, but don't apologize for feeling that way or guess at his negative reaction. Hopefully, if you decide to send a letter, it will be an opening for a face-to-face talk with Ben. So you don't need to put everything on paper. Try to write three to five sentences emphasizing how you value the friendship, can respect boundaries, and hope for honest dialogue. Lex said it best: "You want to sound pleasant, friendly, hopeful but realistic."
