Actually much less eventful than I thought it would be. Not that he took it well and was all supportive, just uneventful. My mom told me through text that he said "Until you have sex with a man you don't know if you're gay. He ain't gay." Not a very subtle guy, but he gets to his point. I responded with "haha lol" but I'm not nearly as okay with the situation as that. Don't get me wrong, so far it's been going better than I thought. My problem is that I know exactly the way that he said it. Condescending, brash, and most likely with a little comedy in there somewhere. He considers gays to only be people who wear fancy clothes and say "hello!?" in that stereotypical gay voice. My mom said it's denial with a capital D, and I agree with her. I think he just can't figure out why his athlete son is gay. It's probably going to sound weird, but I'm actually more worried about him than me. His family has a long history of depression and if he accepts the fact that he raised a gay child he will consider himself a failure. I know that might sound odd but that's the way he thinks. Is there anything I can do to stop that from happening? Does anyone have any suggestions of how I could break that stereotype in his head as well? But at least I'm out to my parents now. Bow-chica-wow-wow! (!)
Firstly, congrats!! Secondly, maybe try to see if he can go talk with a few different gay people, so he can see we're not all like the stereotypes. Or you can just say you've already had sex with a guy.
Great well done I'm sure that's a great load off your shoulders but also some back on. I suppose you could try the up front method but if your trying to avoid depression I would go with the "give him time" approach, just try to talk through it with him if you can and show him how you are definetly not a different person from the you he always knew just that he now knows a part of you that he didn't before, if you feel he will see himself a failure just try and explain you've always been this way. Show him you're still his son but you can't be happy unless you're honest with yourself and that you hope he can at least come to accept it and you for who you are. As for trying to get him to see past the steriotypes like x2x2x2x2y2 said introducing him to other gay people would be a good idea if you can, otherwise explain your own view of homosexuality to him, say how you feel and that being camp is just part of someones personality not their sexuality.
See if your mom can get him to go to a PFLAG meeting. He'll find lots of people just like himself and if he were going to be depressed, that will help him get the resources he needs to prevent it, if that's possible.
I'm half-joking, of course, but you could always ask your dad "so do guys have to have sex with women to know that they're straight?"
*update* So my dad rolls up to my grandmas house and says "Here." He hands me a note. I tried to make conversation but he just kinda blew me off and sped away. I walked inside and read it. It says the following, verbatim: Jesse this is temptation not a choice there is no cene for this if god listened to me and granted my wish he will be knocking very soon i have let him in & hope you will to love dad Right off the bat I know he needs to work on his spelling because this thing was just plain awful. The thing that is really interesting took awhile to figure out. "listened to me and granted my wish." Meaning the guy who spends most of his time chain smoking through pot and tobacco while complaining about other people wished for me to be different. Secondly he is not religious. Never has been. In fact the most prominent word in his vocabulary is God, followed by damnit. What bothers me about it is I know by the way he presented this to me that he is disappointed. With going through nursing school and doing well, I thought he was finally starting to be proud of me. Not anymore. This sucks.
I'm sorry....your Dad needs some education in more ways than one! Get him the book "Now that you Know". If he won't read it, give it to your mom and let her read it and talk to him about it. A PFLAG meeting would be great but not sure that will happen right off the bat. Try the book!
(*hug*) I agree with Beckyg. Try giving him the book. I think that things will get better with time. Some parents can't be rushed into accepting stuff like this. It sucks, but it's the truth. Also, don't be sad that he was disappointed. If anyone should be disappointed it should be you because parents are supposed to love unconditionally. (*hug*)
